Heart's Desire
by WhoNewbie
Summary: As Martha and the Doctor adjust to being a couple, they are thrust into situations that have them questioning if they can make it. A story of relationship growing pains and the rewards gained if you see it through. A continuation of Second Chance.
1. Chapter 1

**Alright Guys, I'm back (finally) with the continuation of my last story. It kind of leaps forward a bit in time (pun intended) but I kind of want to explore the relationship after the initial "honeymoon" period so I hope you'll hang in there with me as I build the story. Anyhow, here goes . . .**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing represented here but enjoy writing about it all the same.**

**Heart's Desire **

Chapter 1 . . .

"So, Martha Jones, are you ready for this?" he asked with a mysterious lilt.

"Well, it would help if I knew what "this" was," she replied.

She could hear the smile in his voice, "Trust me. You're going to love this "this"."

Despite having his hands covering her eyes and unsure what he was up to, Martha couldn't fight back the smile that had been planted on her face since he told her he had a surprise for her and began marching her from the kitchen back towards the console room. For the past three months, she and the Doctor had been gradually easing themselves into the new relationship they were forging. Neither was ready to make any grand admissions of love or start wearing matching suits but since she had reentered the TARDIS, it had been the little subtle things, him bringing her tea when she was reading in the TARDIS library or the quick pecks they exchanged before running off to save the day, that convinced her she had made the right choice.

Keeping up the light mood, she bantered back, "I don't know what you're up to, Mister, but keep this up and I might just have to keep you."

The Doctor's smile now rivaled her own as he spoke softer, near her ear, "Then my plan is working."

Martha involuntarily shivered at his proximity and the implications of his words. It was in these moments that she felt that he really did want her there and that things had indeed changed between them.

The whole situation was so exciting and new to Martha yet at the same time she couldn't help but still be a bit cautious. After all, she honestly never believed this would happen for her and the Doctor and now that it was, she was afraid of getting too attached just in case old patterns began again. The Doctor, much to her pleasure, appeared to be relishing their new relationship too much to let that happen and so as she relished in the feel of his sure hands continuing to obscure her view, she let that thought and this feeling carry the day.

They eventually stopped their trek and the Doctor gently ordered her to keep her eyes closed a minute longer before he removed his hands. Martha was becoming more curious with each second, "How much longer?"

He shuffled around a little, "Alright, you can open them." Eagerly, she fluttered her eyes open and smiled at the vision of him leaning against the TARDIS console as he happily exclaimed, "Surprise!"

Martha took a moment to take in the full scene before her before she quizzically inquired, "What's this?"

"Well, what does it look like?" he responded with his grin never wavering.

Martha continued to study the scene. Her eyes were drawn to flashes of red fabric on the TARDIS console, which she recognized as ribbons. There was one tied on the handbrake and a big bow on the monitor. She looked back at the Doctor with remaining confusion and joked, "You're giving me your TARDIS?"

He raised a brow, "Not exactly . . ."

He then paused as he reached out and clasped one of her hands in his. Then he pulled her closer to the controls and him and finally ended the suspense, "But I was thinking it was about time you learned how to pilot her . . . you know just in case."

At that admission, Martha's eyes widen with utter surprise and obvious excitement, "Are you serious?"

His smile blazed on, "Oh yes."

She looked at him for a long moment before returning her gaze to the numerous buttons and controls before her. Gently, she ran her free hand over a few of them before turning back to him and shaking her head with sheer amazement. She could feel her eyes stinging with unshed tears as he held her gaze. She knew she shouldn't be getting overly emotional about things . . . she'd promised herself she wouldn't but she knew how much this ship meant to him and the fact that he was willing to let her captain it was just a bit overwhelming.

He could instantly see he had gotten the desired response and he instinctively placed his other hand on her cheek as he spoke again, "Martha, this is your home now too. I want you to feel that in every way."

The tears finally broke the surface but her voice remained calm as she quietly repeated, "Home . . . I could get used to that."

His smile became more thoughtful as he gently brushed a tear aside with his thumb and replied, "Good . . . now how about we got on with your first lesson?"

Martha smiled through her tears, "Alright, let's do it."

She enthusiastically allowed him to explain where everything was and once he had her repeat back the information, he began to guide her on how to begin. He stood behind her at first physically guiding her hands here and there until he felt confident she could handle it on her own. He then stepped back and watched as she went to work reviving up the engine and checking all the regulators. She didn't hesitate until it came time to put in the coordinates. Martha then turned to her shipmate and asked, "So where are we heading to next?"

"You're the captain. Where would you like to go?" he breezily retorted.

Martha appeared to think it over intensely, but truthfully she already had an idea in her mind. She just wasn't sure the Doctor would go along with it.

She finally returned her gaze to his and hesitantly began, "Well I do have a place in mind but I'm not sure it will be exciting enough for you."

He gave her smirk, "Hello . . . this is me you're talking about. When have I ever not found something exciting?"

Martha returned his grin and conceded, "Fair enough but this is just some place I've been curious about since I heard about it and . . ."

The Doctor cut in, "If it's got you this intrigued it must be worth a gander. Where is it?"

Martha sighed and finally let it out in a flourish, "Freetown in Sierra Leone Africa."

He raised a brow at both the speedy delivery and the destination.

"Really? You want your first piloted trip to be somewhere on Earth?" he questioned.

She nodded, "I know it's not overly exotic but it's where my Mum's grandparents are from and it has such a rich history . . . I thought it might be worth a look. But if you prefer not to, I . . ."

She was cut off again, this time by him leaning in and placing a soft lingering kiss on her lips.

As she had been struggling to convince the Doctor this was a worthwhile trip, he'd been inching closer and closer to her and when it seemed she felt like she wasn't making her sell, he decided to cut off her backtracking. Though he was enjoying, maybe at bit too much, her seeming a bit flustered, he knew the second she said where she wanted to go that if he had to tow the TARDIS there he would take her. Contrary to her own uncertainty, the Doctor was well aware that she had so much more control than she realized. In such a short amount of time, Martha Jones had completely sucked him into her charms, which excited and unnerved him all at the same time. Slowly, gently their brief interlude was broken and he gave a reassuring smile, "Say no more."

He then moved behind her again and guided her on how to enter in the proper coordinates and then with a playful wink, he concluded their first lesson with a pop quiz, "And what is the last thing we do?"

Martha's own smile brightened as it hovered over a familiar lever. "Release the handbrake," she proudly responded.

He nodded proudly as well just as she followed through sending the pair hurdling to the Western African town.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey Guys, thanks so much for the feedback and interest! I appreciate it all. The next couple of chapters are loosely based on historical events so don't shoot me if its a bit laxs in factuality. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 2 . . .

Freetown, Sierra Leone. As Martha and the Doctor stepped out of their home and into the dense, night cloaked jungle, both were immediately struck by the lack of light or much of anything. Martha looked over at him, "Is this it?"

He paused, glanced around and took in a deep breath, "Yep . . . this is Africa . . . the West coast but . . ."

"But?" she urged.

He finally turned in the moonlight and looked her in the eyes with a small smile that was steadily growing, "But it looks like we got here a little earlier than what we were aiming for."

Martha's eyes widened, "How much earlier?"

"Oh, I'd say a couple hundred years or so."

"What!"

His eyes continued to twinkle, "Yep . . . welcome to 18th century Africa." He then gave her a little nudge with his elbow and teased, "See. It's not so easy to hit the mark, is it?"

She rolled her eyes, knowing he was referencing her periodic ribbing about his aim in their travels, "Obviously . . . so what year is it exactly?"

He stuck a finger in his mouth and then raised it into the air before replying, "17 . . . 93 or maybe 4."

Martha gave him an incredulous look, "Can you really tell what year it is by doing that or are you just having me on?"

He looked back at her with feigned hurt, "Of course. I'm a Time Lord after all."

She shook her head and gave a small smile in response before moving forward both physically and with her inquiry. "So the 1790's then?"

"This was only a couple of years into the settlement if my history is right and it usually is. That means we've actually come when it was just getting going . . . that could be interesting," he commented.

Martha looked up at him and smiled an adventurous smile, "Fancy a look?"

His smile returned as he glanced over at his mate and held out a crooked arm, "Indeed."

So the duo walked on, pushing through bushes and low hanging branches. Eventually, after a bit of this and some climbing, they finally came to a clearing. In it were all the earmarks of a fledgling town. People were bustling around gathering laundry, congregating near an open flame and moving between a number of huts set up in a circular pattern. It looked as if they had arrived just as people were winding down for the night. The Doctor caught Martha's eye, "Shall we investigate your ancestral home?"

"Well I'm not sure that any of my ancestors are here yet," she smartly replied.

The pair easily intertwined their fingers together before retorting, "Probably just as well. That'll just keep us from causing any time ending paradoxes. Come on then."

And as casually as the two time travellers could, they walked out into the open and into what seemed a whole new world.

A couple of hours later, Martha found herself inside one of the quaint huts she'd seen when they arrived talking gaily with a robust woman of African descent with a British accent like her own. Ruby was her name and she was the first person in the village to chat with her and the Doctor. Everyone they passed before she approached appeared weary of the strangers, which Martha could understand, but usually the Doctor's openness at least attracted curious stares. Here in Freetown, however, every time he attempted to speak with one of the settlers a wide arch was created around the pair. It was only when Ruby noticed them and came over that others began to take in the outsiders a bit more in depth.

She explained that it was odd to have people suddenly appear here and also having an Englishman show up unannounced hand in hand with a black woman. The Doctor and Martha were quick to take up the ruse that seemed easiest to explain and allow them to make more inroads. In this instance, he affected the role of an ambassador from Britain there to help get the settlement get off the ground with Martha as his trusted companion. So Ruby pointed him in the direction of the unofficial leader of the town and offered to give Martha a tour in the meantime.

After showing her the town square, some of the other town interest and introducing her to a few of the other women about, the pair made their way back to Ruby's home. Now as the two women sat chatting waiting for her husband and son to return from a fishing expedition, the conversation turned from more trivial things to the low down on the newest arrivals.

"So, I couldn't help but notice you and that Doctor . . . you seem a bit cozy," Ruby began as she offered Martha some more tea.

Martha accepted the drink and gave a thoughtful smile, "Yes, we're close."

Ruby raised a brow and Martha immediately responded, "It's not like that."

"Then what is it like? I mean from what I've seen the only time a white man is cozying up to one of us is when they're getting something out of it, if you know what I mean?" came her astute response.

It was Martha's turn to raise a brow, "He's not like that . . . he's more worldly."

Ruby looked unconvinced so Martha added with small smile, "Trust me, he's truly one of a kind."

The older woman seemed to take that in before conceding a bit, "Well, it seems pretty obvious that he's attached to you as well. He brought you all this way with him when most would have left you behind and used the time to sow their oats."

Martha gave a polite smile at her observation, "I trust in him . . . and what we have."

There was no need to get into the complexities of her relationship with the Doctor especially her own lingering doubts about where this was leading. Ruby, however, picked up on the slight hesitation and took it as a chance to add a caution, "Just be careful. I was young once too, you know, and idealistic. I got fancy notions in my head that turned out to be unrealistic."

She paused briefly and looked Martha seriously in the eyes as she finished, "Sometimes we can care about someone so much that we idealize everything about them including their shortcomings. And it's not until it's too late we realize it."

Martha furrowed her brow deeply. It appeared Ruby's demeanor saddened some with her advice and left Martha wondering what had happened to make her so cynical. She was prepared to ask her when Ruby's family stepped through the door in a flourish. Her little boy, a light brown tyke with loose brown curls on his head, answered that question instantly. It was obvious as he bounded over to his mother that he was not purely of African descent. And when her husband joined the fray it was also clear the muscular, deep brown man was not the biological father.

The youngster was so excited as he hugged his mother, "Did you hear mama? There are strangers here. Isn't it exciting?"

The older man responded, "I think your mama's well aware of our visitors."

The boy's eyes finally fell upon Martha and a curious smile replaced his exuberance. His father, on the other hand, looked cautious and less than pleased as Ruby rose and looked to them both, "Edgar, Thomas, this is Martha."

Martha nervously waved and said, "Hello."

Meanwhile, the Doctor sat in the hut of the village "mayor", Big John Willis. He was a burly black man with an American accent and eyes, much like the Doctor's, that looked as though they'd seen too much. His stature made him appear imposing but once he and the Doctor began to chat, he found him to be very benevolent if not tense. John wasted little time in laying out what had been going on since they had been left there and his hope for a resolution soon. The hope was that the Doctor had come bearing news of the governor's imminent arrival to help deal with the continuing problem of kidnappings. That last part immediately caught the Time Lord's attention.

"Kidnappings? It was my understanding this was a haven set up for freed slaves by British decree."

"Yeah, well, the problem is that a lot of slave owners and traders don't care about any decree. They still see us as property and feel they have a right to reclaim it. Now when the governor arrives from Britain, he is supposed to be bringing reinforcements to sure up our perimeter but until then we are on our own. That is why I was hoping you were here to herald the governor's arrival."

The Doctor gave him an apologetic look, "I'm sorry, I'm not but I might be able to help."

Big John rose from his perch and eyed the wiry man before him suspiciously, "Help how?"

"Well, I can start by assessing the situation, exactly where and when are people being taken?" The Doctor began questioning.

"Usually around the evening or just after dawn when people are just starting their day or winding down. Since we're so close to the coast, many people go down there to down laundry, fish and other things but this also leaves us open to attacks. There is a bit of a trek to get here, as I'm sure you saw, including a jaunt through the jungle where it is easy for traders to hide and spring on unsuspecting people," The gentleman responded. The Doctor nodded as he took in the tale. For his part, John looked as though he still appeared unconvinced the Doctor could help or would help for that matter.

The Doctor noticed his skepticism and answered it, "Believe me, we do this kind of thing all the time."

"We?"

"Oh yes, me and my companion," the Doctor returned with a smile.

Big John retorted, "You have a companion here?"

He nodded, "Yes. She is with one of the ladies here, Ruby?"

"She? You brought a female here to help?" his doubt returning with full force.

The Doctor seemed unfazed by his tone as he replied, "Yes. Martha. She's getting the grand tour by Ruby as we speak."

More to himself than the Doctor, he mumbled, "Yeah that sounds like Ruby, always in the thick of things."

John then paused and sighed before asking, "Let me ask you this . . . why would you help. Even the people who thought this place up had an agenda . . . what's your angle?"

"No angle. It's just what we do."

John seemed to mull the offer over a moment before finally responding, "I guess it can't hurt to see what you can do but I have to say I'm a might uncomfortable with having a woman traipsing around out there."

The Doctor waved off this concern, "Trust me, Martha can more than hold her own."

John abruptly went to his doorway before turning back to the Doctor, "Then let's say we find your companion and see what we can come up with."

The Doctor followed him back across the square where he continued to get weary glances from those who remained out. A short jaunt later, they stood at the door of Ruby and Edgar Mason. Martha rose from her perch and moved to greet the men with a warm smile which the Doctor reciprocated. Big John gave the pair an intense once over before inquiring, "So this is your Martha?"

The Doctor gave him a proud nod as he pulled her closer to him, ignoring the obvious uneasiness of the others in the room at such a display, "In the flesh and Martha, this is the mayor John Willis."

She gave him a small smile, "It's good to meet you."

"And you Miss Martha but now that we've met I have to say, I'm definitely uncomfortable with your plan, Doctor," John replied.

"What plan?" Martha finally chimed in.

John and the Doctor exchanged glances before John looked over at Edgar who immediately turned to his wife and said, "Ruby, go check on the boy."

She looked like she wanted to protest for just an instant but ultimately obeyed and returned inside. Once the four of them were alone, John returned his attention to the Doctor and Martha and the Time Lord quickly began explaining the situation to his partner.

Once she'd been brought up to date on the situation and what he wanted to do. She got that resolute look on her face he loved so much and finally spoke up, "Alright then, when do we do this?"

John regained his own voice and piped in, "You two need to understand that these people have no scruples. The danger of capture or even death is very real. I can't be responsible for what might happen once you leave here."

"We understand, right Martha?" She nodded firmly before he continued, "But I think at dawn, Martha and I are still going to have a look."

The Doctor's eyes met hers again and found that she remained as determined as he was despite the warning. The two African men shared a long look before Edgar finally joined the fray, "Well, I guess if you're going to go through with this we can gather a few of the younger men here and join you. Safety in numbers and all that."

The Doctor nodded, "Sounds good . . . so as far as accommodations for the night go . . ."

John quickly fielded that question, "This is a respectable place we're building here and since I noticed no rings on either of your fingers, I think it's only right that Martha stay with Ruby and Edgar while you, good Doctor, return to my home for the night."

The Doctor caught Martha's eye again, "Alright?"

She simply nodded.

"So tomorrow around first light I'll come for you," he finished.

She gave him another warm smile, "I'll be ready."

Both were keenly aware that they were being observed and were well aware that their usual good bye would be inappropriate. It was clear just from the small amount of time they had spent here, the people were already a bit weary of them. If they discarded all present social norms they might not be as welcoming. So in the final analysis, the Doctor did what he imagined was the least offensive thing he could in the circumstance.

He reached out for one of hands which she easily gave him and then tenderly brought it to his lips and placed a soft, lingering kiss upon it. Martha nearly swooned at the move but maintained her composure, only smiling as he softly concluded, "Tomorrow."

She then turned and headed back into the hut with Edgar right behind while the Doctor watched her go before heading off with John to prepare and rest for what may come the following day.


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is a bit tetchy but is important to the plot so I apologize in advance if anyone is offended. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 3 . . .

Just before the sun had fully risen, the Doctor, Martha, Edgar and seven other strapping young villagers headed out into the bush. The full plan was to circle the entire settlement, determine if they were being surveyed by traders and then figure out how to set up a secure perimeter around the area. It was agreed that they would pair off but stay in even spacing around just in case there was need of assistance. So as the Doctor and Martha began their trek, it started as rather routine. Each one looked about for signs of disturbance in their area and eventually got so involved in their task that they lost track of each other.

The Doctor was busy looking at broken branches that seemed to indicate someone had been through. He knew that could just as easily be from the settlers themselves but John had mentioned that they tended to keep to specific paths for both safety and practical reasons. He thought, though, it would be difficult for someone not used to the land finding their way to the village in so little light unless they were traveling with a Time Lord, that is. While he was lost in his musings, he failed to notice that he had lost sight of Martha, who had found her own clues to suggest interlopers. Her attention was turned towards the ground and what looked like heavy boot prints a bit further away. She was engrossed in seeing where they lead that she had managed to wander out of the agreed comfort zone. After following them a bit, she was prepared to turn back and ask the Doctor what he made of it when she was grasped around the neck and jerked back before she could begin to react properly.

Her first thought was to scream out but it appeared whoever had hold of her figured as much and quickly clamped a warm, clammy ham hock over her mouth. Martha struggled with her attacker as he proceeded to drag her further into the jungle and away from the perimeter the group had been working in. She knew if she didn't think of something quick she was in big trouble. So harkening back to her UNIT training, she steeled herself and did the first thing she was taught in self- defense. With all the force she could muster, she plowed her elbow into the gut of the perpetrator, catching him off guard. He immediately loosened his hold on her neck and as his hand slipped from her mouth, she bit into the flesh as though it was a succulent steak. As the man now tended his wounds, Martha was able to turn about and see for the first time her attacker.

It was a portly bloke with short blonde hair and icy blue eyes that were now coolly focused on her. She could see he was revving up for round two as was she. But as she stood in a defensive stance ready to face him head on this time, she felt a piercing pain at the base of her head and fell to her knees and then the ground groggily. What she was sure was moments later, she heard two unfamiliar French accented voices just off to her side.

"God, Nolan, can't you even handle a female? What good are ya then?"

"Hey, she just caught me off guard. I would have had her in hand if you hadn't come along," Nolan responded in disdain.

The other guy tutted before returning his attention to Martha, who he noticed was coming to. He lowered himself next to her and proceeded to smack her face a couple of times as if to revive her fully. Martha tried to fight back but to little avail as she now found her hands and feet bound and her mouth gagged.

"Ah, sleeping beauty has finally come to, has she?" He glanced up at his compatriot, "And what a beauty, huh? She almost looks civilized . . . almost."

The injured guy added nursing his hand that was now covered by a blood soaked handkerchief, "Almost is right, Earl. She damn near ate my arm off this one. I say we string her up and move on."

"Don't be stupid. You know how hard it is to gather these brutes up now because of British pressure. If they knew what was coming . . . anyway, we can't afford to be picky. Besides, she looks like she'd be a good breeder anyhow . . . maybe we could investigate a little before we make a final decision," he offered with a sinister sneer that caused Martha to shudder.

She began to struggle again but was unable to offer much resistance as Earl ordered Nolan to lift her up. The burly man grabbed her by her hair and forced her to her feet. Earl than proceeded to circle her like she was at a meat market while Nolan watched with a smirk. Martha cringed when the older less hefty man grasped her hips.

"Well she definitely has breeder hips but from the looks of her she's yet to bear any kids."

Nolan's smile seemed to become more malevolent as he responded, "Maybe we should inspect further to be sure."

Martha's eyes widen and she again began to fight only to have her hair harshly tugged again, causing her eyes to tear and halt her action. Earl joined his partner in his evil grin as he withdrew a knife from his boot, "That sounds like a fine idea, Nolan. A fine idea indeed."

He then moved forward and began to trail the blade of the knife across her neck and then began to dip lower. Before he could get any further, however, a familiar voice startled all three of them, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Martha's heart soared when she recognized that familiar British lilt. Her eyes rose to find a stern faced Doctor looking at the scene before him. The two men still holding her seemed to regain themselves after sizing up the Doctor and Earl turned fully still grasping the knife and coolly replied, "Shove on . . . we found this one first."

The Doctor narrowed his eyes and equally as cold replied, "You're going to let her go right now."

"Or what?" Nolan offered boldly.

"Or you'll regret it more than you could ever know."

She wasn't sure whether it was the threat or the tone of it but the pudgy trader suddenly relaxed his grasp on her. Martha also noticed that Earl was now kind of fidgeting, much like a child caught doing something naughty. The Doctor's own mood seemed to lighten as he firmly directed, "Now release her."

With one last semblance of defiance, Earl shakily asked, "Why should we? We found her."

Again the Doctor's countenance was stony and authoritatively he responded, "If you take a look at her right forearm you will see exactly why."

As commanded, Earl lifted her shirt sleeve and softly gasped. Then as apologetically as he could he began to backtrack.

"Oh, sir, I'm quite sorry if I had known . . ."

He stumbled about, now using the knife to quickly cut the ropes. Martha quickly pulled the gag from her mouth and gave both men a fierce look of loathing as they backed away.

"Martha, come to me please," the Doctor gently requested.

She slowly backed towards him, rubbing her wrists until she felt his gentle hands upon her. She then turned and looked into his concerned eyes. He looked like he wanted to ask a million questions but aware they still had an audience, he placed his gaze firmly back on the men, "If you do not leave with haste, I will report you to the English ambassador. This is your first and last warning."

The two quickly made tracks back towards the coast, finally leaving Martha and the Doctor alone. His hands immediately found her face which he cradled as he asked, "Martha, are you alright?"

"Yes. Now."

He then pulled her into a warm hug that she returned. It lingered for a bit then she heard him begin apologizing and Martha moved back some, "What are you apologizing for? You saved me."

He shook his head, "I shouldn't have gotten distracted."

"Doctor, it's ok."

"It's not," fired back. He was kicking himself for not heeding the warning John had given. This situation was twice as dangerous for Martha as it was for him and seeing her at the mercy of those two men shook him to his core. What if they had made off with her before he noticed she was gone? He'd promised her he'd be more aware were she was concerned and what happens? She nearly gets abducted right from his side.

Martha could see that he was upset but she couldn't tell if it was about the situation or at himself for not preventing it. She decided not to push the point right then but turned her attention to something else that happened.

"Why did you have them look at my tattoo and why did it make them let me go?" she asked.

He inhaled sharply, "Many of the freemen were branded when they were brought into a family. It was a way to mark their property and easily identify runaways. Your tattoo happens to closely resemble the well-known family crest of a noble family in France at this time. I figured they would be aware of that and back down."

Martha only nodded, not sure how she felt about this information. On the one hand it just saved her life but she felt affronted that he used the ruse of her being a branded slave to do it.

The Doctor, though, cut through her musings inquiring again, "Are you sure you're alright?"

She began to nod but was stopped by a shooting pain reminding her of being struck on her head.

"A bit of a head ache," she replied rubbing where she'd been hit earlier. He took a quick look and noticed a bump forming.

"We better get you back to the village. Come on," he ordered as he grasped her hand in his and began to lead her back to Freetown.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks as always for the interest in my story. I hope you continue to enjoy and feedback is always appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 4 . . .

"My God! What happened?" Ruby exclaimed as she stood over Martha examining the substantial bump that had formed on her head.

Martha attempted to soothe the concerned woman, "It looks worse than it is. I can be such a klutz sometimes. I slipped on something out there and hit my head on a rock."

She glanced up at the Doctor who nodded slightly. They both decided that telling what nearly happened in the jungle would serve no purpose other than to cause panic. Martha flinched when Ruby placed a cool cloth to her wound but quickly recovered.

"Martha, I think you should have a lay down for a bit. Just until some of the swelling goes down," Ruby began.

In spite of the pain it caused, Martha shook her head, "I'll be fine, besides we have bigger things to tend to, right Doctor?"

Surprisingly, the Doctor had been quite silent until that moment. "I think Ruby might be right. You're looking a bit flushed."

Martha narrowed her eyes at him, "You've got to be kidding me. No way am I letting a little bump on the head keep me sidelined."

Both Ruby and the Doctor were about to persist when they were interrupted by Edgar coming in the door.

"Doctor, the other groups have returned."

The Time Lord nodded at him, "I'll be right there."

But before he could turn back to his companion and convince her to sit this part out she was already on her feet, gingerly holding the compress to her head and heading towards the door.

He sighed as she turned once she reached the door and pointedly said, "So are we doing this or what?"

Outside, the Doctor, Martha and John were briefed on what the other groups had found. Like the Doctor and Martha, a couple others encountered broken branches and footprints but the rest found no real evidence of anything unusual. Then it was the Doctor's turn and he explained about running into a couple of traders in the bush, again leaving out the encounter with Martha. The other men listened with intensity as the Doctor tried to caution them without causing too much anxiety.

"I think Martha and I soundly scared that pair off but with what else we've learned we can't rule out that there might be others."

One of the younger men asked, "So what do we do?"

"Under the circumstances, creating and securing a perimeter seems to be the first step and then maybe making a schedule and having escorts to and from the coast when people have to go out," the Doctor responded.

"That should be simple enough. Most of the men here are military trained. We can assign men so many feet around the perimeter in rotating shifts and then send out groups with a guard when laundry or fishing needs to be done," John finally chimed in.

With uncertainty clear, Edgar questioned, "I don't know, John, if we place so much energy into this who takes care of the task of everyday living? In case you've forgot, this place still needs a lot of work. Besides, there aren't enough of us to make that secure of a perimeter. We can't sacrifice trying to make this place a home."

John sighed, "If it ain't secure how much of a home can it be, Edgar? I know it's a lot to ask but it's not like it's permanent. We're just trying to hold out until the governor gets here."

Edgar grudgingly nodded his assent.

"I know it's not ideal but, as John stated, it is temporary and it will go a long way towards keeping everyone here safe," the Doctor added.

Most of the men nodded their agreement but it was clear others still had their doubts.

John, though, cut off any further dissent by forcefully responding, "If anyone else has a better idea, let's hear it."

No one spoke up so he continued, "Alright then, the Doctor, Edgar and I will go back to my place and work out the details while you all get prepared for a town meeting to finalize the plan. Let's say we meet at the town center around sunset."

There were nods and quiet assent before the group broke up. John and Edgar started off towards his home with Martha preparing to follow when the Doctor held her up with a hand on her arm.

"What is it? And if you start in about that sitting it out business again . . ." she began.

The Doctor though took on a sterner demeanor and cut in, "Martha, we can't stay here."

She furrowed her brow and was about to question him when they were interrupted by John calling out, "Doctor."

They both turned to see the other two men waiting.

"I'll be along . . ." he paused and glanced over at Martha who looked more than a little vexed at being ignored by both the village men and now seemingly the Doctor.

He quickly corrected himself, "We'll be along in few moments. We just need a minute to confer."

Both men stiffly nodded before continuing on, leaving the couple alone.

The Doctor then guided Martha over to the side of one of the huts and explained his previous comment.

"Look, we have to leave . . . preferably soon."

"Why?" she asked still not understanding.

He sighed, "An attack is coming and we can't be here when it does."

Martha shook her head, "An attack? What kind of attack?"

"The French decided to pillage and torch this town after the British began to put pressure on other nations to end the slave trade," he replied.

She exhaled loudly, "And you knew about this and didn't tell me?"

"I'm telling you now. It wasn't until we ran into those to blokes in the woods that it clicked for me. They were just scouts but there'll be more to follow and if my history is correct, very soon."

Martha closed her eyes and tried to take in this new and disturbing information before placing her focus back on him, "But you just told them they'd be safe. We can't just leave them without a clue."

The Doctor moved closer to her and placed his hands on her shoulders, "Martha, this is part of traveling through time, you know that. We can't interfere with established events."

She stepped out of his grasp and flatly retorted, "They trusted us . . . took us in and now we're just going to abandon them to fate?"

"I'm sorry but we have no choice," he genuinely replied.

Martha, though, was not impressed, "I don't accept that. There has to be something we can do . . . anything."

He could see the distress in her eyes, "Martha . . ."

She moved back into his orbit and looked into his eyes with pleading in her own and softly insisted, "Doctor, please."

He exhaled as he held her gaze. He wasn't sure what, if anything he could do, but seeing the hope twinkle in her eyes, he knew he would try to think of something.

"Alright. I'll see what I can do but no promises, OK?"

She gave him a tight smile, "Just try. That's all I ask."

He nodded with a soft smile of his own. The pair now briefly stood, lost in each other's gaze until they were distracted by muffled snickering nearby. Both turned to find Ruby's little boy Thomas and another village child peeking around the hut watching them. Both Martha and the Doctor shook their heads and joined the children in their mirth before they bolted off.

"We better go before John and Edgar have to do all the work themselves," he softly stated.

Martha's smile brightened, "You go ahead. I think you'll get more accomplished with those two without me there."

"What do you mean?"

"They're products of their time and its fine. I'll go help set up for the town meeting," she quietly returned.

She knew he was wondering why she was so easily assenting to being left out of the meeting but the truth was she trying to wrap her mind around a few things she'd recently learned.

One was the fact that her great gran's home gets decimated. This obviously happened before she arrived because she never brought it up. She was concerned for the people here and prayed the Doctor could find some way to help them that didn't violate the laws of time. The other thing occupying her mind was the realization just how much things had really changed with her and the Doctor. Time was he would have brushed off her concerns and stuck to his mantra of not interfering with set events but this time he seemed to take her view into consideration. She was grateful for that and for the chance to absorb it all.

For his part, the Time Lord gave her that brilliant grin and said, "Martha Jones, you're a star."

"And don't you forget it," she quickly retorted before shooing him on to join the other men.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 5 . . .

The town meeting proved to be anticlimactic for the townspeople. The Doctor, John and Edgar gave a basic outline of how each group of men would have rotating shifts around the perimeter of the settlement and also a schedule for going to and from the coast. The most intriguing thing, to Martha anyway, was the addition of an early warning system that the Doctor was to install. She knew instantly that was his concession to her request. They caught each other's eye as the meeting began to break up and she waited for him to excuse himself from a group of men. When he joined her, Martha momentarily disregarded all 18th century decorum and pulled him into a soft, tender kiss. Though brief, it was intense and when the pair broke apart, Martha smiled and softly said, "Thank you."

He returned her glow, "My pleasure."

He then stole another little peck on her nose before sighing and adding, "Putting in that system is going to take a couple of days and then we really have to go."

Martha gave him a mock salute, "Yes, Sir."

He smirked, "Cheeky."

Three days later, the plan had been implemented and surprisingly had been moving like clockwork. People seemed to adjust to both the guard and the schedule for chores quite easily. Martha had kept herself busy mostly by hanging out with Ruby as she went about her daily life. She began to see why her great gran always had such found memories of the place. The settlement, because of its isolation, was like a little world unto its self and the people were like one big extended family. They had even warmed up to the Doctor at this point.

During the day, he would be off in the woods with a few guys working on the alarm with his trusty sonic and in the evening, he'd come back and spend time telling the kids and some of the adults, what sounded like fantastical stories of space travel. For brief moments in time, Martha allowed herself to forget that siege would soon be laid to this peaceful oasis. Her conscious was warring with her logic constantly. She knew she could not interfere for chance of causing temporal damage but she also felt like a liar for walking around amongst them like everything would be fine.

It was late afternoon on the third day, when the Doctor found her and Ruby sitting at a wooden picnic style table in the town center. A number of other townswomen joined them there, preparing various vegetables while chatting happily. He took the moment to simply observe Martha in this environment. She appeared completely relaxed and at home, smiling and laughing with the small group of women she sat with. She seemed to have recovered from the events in the woods much better than he had which troubled him.

Dangerous situations came with the territory they covered but something about seeing her that vulnerable had heightened his protective nature and had him keen to leave Africa well before the historical showdown was to take place. He hated to disrupt her serenity but he had finished his task and with the sun set to go down in just a couple of short hours, he wanted to be headed back towards the TARDIS before night fell and on to the next thing.

So gently, he finally moved into the huddle and garnered her attention. She gave him her usual warm smile as she rose and came to him. She easily reached up a hand and tenderly wiped away a streak of dirt that was resting on his forehead.

"I know you like to use your head but come on," she joked.

He gave her a playful smirk in return, "You know me, if I'm not dirty I'm not doing it right."

"I'll keep that in mind," she returned with a mischievous wink.

The Doctor blushed for maybe the first time ever, causing Martha to chuckle lightly at his apparent surprise at her comeback. He, though, quickly regained himself and more seriously replied, "Anyway, now that I have that system in place we need to head out."

"What? Tonight?"

"Yes. I just assume not tempt fate. The sooner we're gone the better," he returned.

Martha gave him a long look not fully understanding what the rush was. "Is there something else you're not telling me?"

He paused for a moment and contemplated if he could he really tell her the truth. That at the moment, universe ending catastrophes were second on his list of main concerns. That the vision of her bound and nearly assaulted had flipped something primal on inside of him and refused to let go. Could he tell her he was afraid for her safety even knowing in his mind that she was more than capable of taking care of herself in most situations?

Martha broke his train of thought, "Doctor?"

He finally exhaled, "No, Martha, there's nothing else. It's just time to move on."

She narrowed her eyes at him and dug in, "Really? So we're doing this again then?"

"Doing what?" he replied.

"It's obvious something else is going on but you're shutting me out," she retorted.

He sighed, "I'm not. I'm just really anxious to move on to the next thing. You know me. Too much time in one place is never a good thing and with what is looming . . ."

Martha continued to study him knowing there was more to it than what he was saying but quickly becoming frustrated with this seemingly reversion back to previous behaviors. When he didn't falter under her continued scrutiny, she finally threw up her hands and said, "Fine. Can I at least say good bye to a few people?"

"Of course."

She then turned and began back to the swell of women but before she could get too far, she felt the Doctor's hand in hers. She turned back, looking first at their clasped hands and then back into his eyes. He had on a concerned look as he softly said, "I am trying you know . . . with everything."

She held his gaze for a long moment before softly squeezing his hand, "I know."

She then began her trek again with her hand gently slipping from his as she walked away.

The Doctor let his gaze follow after her as she leaned in to Ruby and softly spoke with the older woman. The other woman nodded and then looked in his direction before both moved to rejoin him. Ruby put on bright smile as she spoke, "Martha says you two are heading out."

"Yep. We need to get back on the road, so to speak," he returned with a grin of his own.

"Well, if you can spare a few more minutes, I have a couple of things I'd like to give her before you go," she returned.

He only nodded and then watched as the two women headed towards Ruby's home. He again observed his companion until she vanished into the house with Ruby. Moments later, he caught a bit of commotion out of the corner of his eye and began over to investigate. Off near the main entranceway to the village, small group of men had gather and was growing by the minute. The Doctor quickly made his way over and was just in time to hear one of the younger men relaying the tale of a youngster gone missing.

"I don't know what happened. One minute he was here and the next . . ." the young man began.

The Doctor immediately piped in, "Where did this happen?"

The group turned to him as one as the man replied, "Around the perimeter. There was some kids playing nearby and he must have gotten in between one of the gaps."

"How long ago?"

"Maybe twenty minutes . . . we sent out a couple of people to look but didn't find him anywhere near."

As more groups and guards started to return from the coast, word spread and many were preparing to join in the search, not wanting to acknowledge that the child might have in fact been taken. It wasn't until John and Edgar joined the fray however that the identity of the boy was discovered. It was Thomas, Edgar's son. That put everyone on heightened alert. Edgar looked heartsick and immediately went to fill Ruby in. The Doctor was close behind and they found both she and Martha talking and gathering some fabric. Edgar went to his wife and gently took her aside to tell her the news. Martha looked confused and was about to ask the Doctor why he and Edgar looked so serious when Ruby wailed loudly and nearly fainted. Edgar held her up and began assuring her they were going to find the boy.

Martha too was in shock when she heard the whole story about Thomas. She turned to her companion with fierce resolve, "So we're going to help, right?"

He looked her directly in the eyes and firmly replied, "Yes . . . you by staying here and helping Ruby and me out there helping to find Thomas."

The look on Martha's face was of a woman about to explode, "Like hell! I am not going to sit here twiddling my thumbs while you're out there looking. You need me out there."

"I need you here . . ." He paused, wanting to say safe and protected but knew that would bring even more resistance. So instead he finished his thought with something less personal, "To keep everyone else calm. This all just may be a case of Thomas wandering off. There's no sense in feeding a panic."

Martha shook her head defiantly, "No . . . Not this time. Ruby is my friend and I won't sit by doing nothing while her only child is out there somewhere."

"Martha, will you please just listen to me," he began.

She though took a step back from him and replied, "You're the one who is not listening. I don't know what's going on with you but I'm going out there to help with the search."

She then turned to discover that Edgar and Ruby had already left to rejoin the others. She intended to follow suit when she felt the Doctor's hand on her arm, she turned around ready to shake him off when she notice a look in his eye, not of anger or of frustration. No, he appeared to be almost sorrowful as he pulled her back towards him. Then out of the blue, he pulled her into a deeply intense kiss. Martha was caught completely off guard not just because of the situation with Thomas but also because they had just been in the midst of an argument. She wasn't sure if he was trying to disarm her or what but after the initial shock of the action, she found herself relaxing into the exchange.

The pair momentarily lost themselves in the embrace, Martha cherishing it as something she had yearned for so long now realized and the Doctor absorbing the feeling, knowing he might not have another chance when this was all over. Slowly the kiss began to soften, but their contact remained with Martha's hands resting on his chest and his hands lightly caressing her face. When they finally began break the kiss, he continued to hold her face and their foreheads rested tenderly against each other. Martha was still trying to catch her breath and straighten out her mind, when she heard the Doctor sigh deeply and softly say, "Forgive me."

She wasn't sure what he was asking forgiveness for, his attitude or the kiss, but before she could even muster a reply she felt his fingertips flutter across her temples and a bit of pressure in her head before darkness engulfed her.

The Doctor caught her as she lost consciousness and gently brought over to the makeshift bed Ruby and Edgar had made for her. He laid her down and placed her hands on her stomach and another small kiss on the bridge of her nose. He then gave her one last, long look, knowing it would be sometime before he saw her this peaceful again. She would be furious with him for this but he just couldn't risk losing one more person that he cared about needlessly. He'd deal with her anger when she rose but for now he turned and headed back out to join the others and have Ruby keep an eye on Martha until he returned.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 6 . . .

Shortly after the sun made its final descent into the horizon, the search party that had set out two hours earlier returned with a shaken but unharmed Thomas in tow. The child had indeed managed to slip through the perimeter while playing a game of hide and seek and soon got turned around. He was found by the Doctor and Edgar near a cluster of bushes, huddled and frightened. Now as the triumphant group reentered the settlement they were all greeted by some of their fellow townspeople. Edgar securely carried his son back towards their house proceeded by a few of the other townswomen, one of which ran ahead into his home to tell Ruby. When she stepped out of her door she was already in tears as her husband sat down her son and the pair bounded towards each other. The Doctor who had followed behind the small entourage smiled happily at the joyous reunion. His musing was cut short by another familiar presence appearing in the doorway.

His gaze trailed up to the face of his companion who was watching the reunion as well. She, too, was smiling thoughtfully at the family still huddled together when her gaze finally found his. Her smile slowly evaporated and she held his gaze with a look he was not expecting. It was not anger or indignation but something closer to apathy. He was prepared to accept a lot of things but the disillusionment he saw caused his hearts to slightly clinch. He had to know what she was thinking. So with one last glance at the reunited family now surrounded by their fellows, he moved around the group and made his way towards Martha. She briefly watched him as he began to make his way to her but she ducked back inside before he could reach her.

Once inside, he found her sitting at a small kitchen table nursing a cup of tea. There was a strong sense of deja vu in that moment because like when he first found her in New York, she didn't immediately acknowledge his presence. He stared at her profile for a long moment before moving over to the table and sliding into the chair across from her. She finally looked at him but made no move to speak so the Doctor did what he did best.

"Martha, I know you're upset but you have to know I wouldn't have done it if there was another way at the time. I needed you here. There was no reason for us both to be out there. I know it probably wasn't the best way to handle things but you left me with no other choice."

Martha just continued to stare at him, showing little emotion aside from a slight clenching and unclenching of her jaw. His own frustration soon got the better of him and he impatiently implored, "Would you please say something?"

Martha pushed her cup aside and flatly replied, "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know. Yell . . . scream . . . something," he returned.

"If you'd been here when I woke up, I doubt much would have prevented me from trying to throttle you. You crossed a line. One it never occurred to me you would. But now, I'm just over it," she coolly finished.

He definitely didn't like the sound of that and quickly retorted, "What do you mean 'over it'?"

She sighed heavily, sat back in her chair with her arms folded over her chest, "I told you when I agreed to come back, I would not go back to the way things were but it's obvious that old habits die hard. It's still either your way or no way and I can't live with that . . . not anymore."

"Martha, that's not what this, is."

"Then what is it?" she smartly returned. He paused, again, unwilling to admit the real reason out loud least he risk doing something he had been avoiding since he lost Rose . . . admit that she had become deeply imbedded in his hearts. The last time he had felt this way it ended up causing him nothing but torment. He just wasn't ready to put himself through something like that again, not yet.

His continued silence, though, only served to make her point as far as Martha was concerned. She leaned forward and slammed a hand on the table as she rose, startling the Doctor, "Exactly!"

Martha then moved to leave the table when his hand covered hers. She looked at it and then into his eyes. He looked genuinely regretful but Martha was still too frustrated. How many times was she supposed to just give in and accept his crap? Yet before she could even articulate this feeling or he could respond to her outburst, their attention was brought to the doorway by its owners returning.

"Everything alright in here?" Ruby asked as she stepped across the threshold toting her son. It was obvious there was some strain between the pair.

Martha, though, gave the Doctor one longer look before removing her hand from his and turning to her host with a false smile, "Everything is fine."

The Doctor was stung by her abrupt withdrawal from him but quickly recovered and joined her in the charade as he stood too, "Brilliant, in fact. Little Thomas is home, safe and sound, and the settlement is secure for the time being. All is right with the world."

Martha rolled her eyes which didn't go unnoticed by either Ruby or the Doctor. The Doctor turned completely back to his companion and perfunctorily stated, "We'll head out early tomorrow. I'll come for you just after day break."

Unable to stop herself, Martha gave him a faux bow and replied, "Yes, my Liege."

He cut her censorious look which she responded to with a defiant stare and smirk. Again the tension in the room was palpable but further inquiry was again precluded by the Doctor now heading for the door, "I should let you good folks get settled for the night."

"Let me walk you out, Doctor," offered Edgar, who seemed the only one oblivious or uninterested in the hostility present in his home.

The two men made their way out the next minute leaving Martha, Ruby and an obviously exhausted Thomas alone. Ruby moved closer to the younger woman and nodded towards the door, "Are you sure you are OK?"

Martha sighed, "Honestly, I don't know what I am at the moment. I'm starting to think you were on to something when we talked my first night here. Sometimes we want to believe something so much we set ourselves up for a fall."

"Martha . . ." but before the conversation could get any more in depth, Edgar reappeared trumpeting his hunger after the search. Ruby went to finish dinner while Edgar took the boy into the bathroom to clean him up. This left Martha alone with her thoughts for a moment. She knew she had to deal with the Doctor soon but she wasn't even sure what to say to him. She meant what she said about him crossing a line and now she had to decide if she was willing to overlook what it might mean or face it head on and possibly lose the things she had desired for so long.


	7. Chapter 7

As always, thanks for the feedback and interest.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 7 . . .

The next morning, after saying their goodbyes to John, Edgar, and Ruby, who insisted on giving them a care package that included fruits and vegetables and some fabrics she had received from some of the natives, the pair headed back towards their ship in virtual silence. The Doctor was leading the way and only occasionally taking peeks back at his subdued partner. Her attention was focused squarely on anything but him as she toted the small duffle holding their gifts. He knew attempting to chat right now would probably amount to nothing but more hostility and sarcasm so he was determined to wait until they were back inside the TARDIS before breeching the subject once more.

Their trek remained a silent one until the ship finally came into view the Doctor couldn't help but smile and happily state, "Home sweet home."

He was expecting her to concur but when she didn't, he glanced back to see her muted expression unchanged. He sighed heavily and the pair completed the short remaining journey to the TARDIS in silence. The Doctor unlocked the door and let her inside before closely following behind her. The ship, as always, greeted the pair and usually Martha would caress the console as a return of the welcome but today she made her way up the ramp and past the console without so much as look. She had nearly made it to the corridor that would lead to her room and away from him, he ventured, when he couldn't take it anymore.

"Martha, would you please just stop and talk to me."

She stopped in the doorway but didn't turn around compelling him on, "I get it. I do. You're upset but how can we make it better if we don't talk about it?"

Finally, slowly she turned back to face him and for a long moment they just stood staring at each other until she finally broke her silence with words he was not expecting to hear.

"I'm beginning to think this was a mistake."

His eyes widened with surprise, "What is?"

"This," she began, motioning between them, "I don't know. Maybe it was too much to expect you to really be willing to make this a more equitable arrangement. I accepted that this wouldn't be a conventional type of relationship, that there were certain things that you could not give but you used my feelings against me. You kissed me with an agenda and it's obvious you don't respect me or believe in my abilities."

"Martha, I trust you with my life. I have on more than one occasion, if you recall. I know what you're capable of and I respect you as highly as anyone I've ever traveled with. And as far as the kiss . . . that wasn't about anything but wanting to . . ."

"I know what it was!" she abruptly cut in, "It was a means to distract me long enough to put me out of commission. You lured me in with something I thought I could trust and that hurts the most because I still have a huge blind spot when it comes to you and you found it and used it. How do you think that makes me feel?"

She mockingly chuckled and continued without allowing him to respond, "Here I was thinking we had made it to the point where you appreciated who I was and what I had to offer but now we're right back where we started."

"That's not true. I do appreciate you and everything you do. I never intended to make you feel otherwise. I just couldn't think of another way, in that moment, to make you see my point of view," the Doctor protested.

She shook her head again, "So you decided your best course of action was to knock me out? Should I expect that every time I disagree with you? Will you try to seduce me and then lock me in my room or just threaten to take me home?"

"Do you really think I would do something like this lightly, Martha? You have to know I would never intentionally try to hurt you."

"I don't know what the hell to think anymore. And whether you intended to or not the end result was the same. I don't know if I can trust anything you say or do anymore. How much of it is real and how much is just a charade to keep me here? Do you even want me here or are you hoping that things will eventually go back to the way they were with me following behind you like some naïve girl? Because if that's the hope, we might as well call it a day right now, Doctor, and move on because I will never be that person again . . . never," she pointedly finished.

The Doctor was quiet for a moment trying to collect himself against the obvious emotion his actions had brought out in his companion. It was clear she was now questioning everything since she'd come back. He now wondered if his admitting that he was simply terrified for her well- being would be enough to stem this tide of doubt that was pouring further. Would she think it was just another way for him to manipulate her? Could his adding his own feelings to this mix help or would it only cause further confusion?

He wasn't sure what he would do if he poured out his own hearts to her and she rejected it out of hand as more duplicity. He decided right then that his feelings were not the paramount concern at the moment. He needed to remain detached or things would deteriorate even further. Making sure she understood that he'd done what he would always do to protect her from both outside threats and herself was. And so he again remained silent about his true motives.

"I would never ask you to be anything but who and what you are and I hope that you would give me the same courtesy. I did what I thought was best at the time. Can you at least appreciate that sometimes I know more than you do about a situation and I'm discouraging you because of that?" he returned.

She remained quiet this time and he was hopeful that she would see the wisdom of his reasoning. It was plausible and kept his emotions from becoming a determining factor. He studied her while she held his gaze and remained silent a beat longer.

Finally after a deep sigh, Martha curtly replied, "Right."

The Doctor stood flabbergasted by her brief, terse response. Was that it? Was that all she was going to give him?

"Right? What does that mean? Right you agree with me or right as in . . ."

"As in everything always comes right back to this being your universe and I'm just in it. I'm tired of that feeling," she finished with resignation echoed in her tone.

The Doctor could feel the sadness behind her words and wanted nothing more than to remove it. So he attempted to be somewhat conciliatory, "Martha, I'm sorry if what I did made you feel less valued. I just . . ."

Martha, though, coolly cut him off before he could finish, "Don't bother. No matter what you say, we both know what this is really about. Actions, Doctor, speak louder than words. You showed me exactly what you think about me. Now if we're done, I would really like to take a bath and change clothes."

"Don't leave things like this."

Martha, in frustration, rolled her eyes again, "Or what? You'll tie me to a chair and make me stay?"

The Doctor allowed his own frustration to get the better of him this time as he tartly snapped, "Stop it! Now you're just being childish and it's really unbecoming."

The pair shared a steely gaze before Martha finally spoke one last time, dismissively, "Whatever."

She then turned and continued her trek down the corridor and out of sight. 

"_Tell her the truth, Doctor. Tell her why you really did it."_

The second she was out of sight and ear shot, the Doctor tersely blurted out what he wanted to say since he walked through the door, "I'm not going to do that." He looked at the ceiling of his ship in defiance but her refrain had not changed since he set foot inside.

"_Tell her."_

"No . . . besides you heard her, nothing I say right now is going to make this better. She's still too upset."

"_Doctor . . ."_

He resolutely shook his head, "Enough. I will deal with this my own way, OK? I know you're concerned but don't be. I will fix this."

He could feel his old ship sigh, almost in resignation before becoming silent herself. Great, he thought, now I have two females angry with me. He tried to shake it off, believing he could turn this around without this turning into a melodrama. Martha would come around. She always did. 

A couple of hours later, Martha emerged from her room refreshed from her hot bath, dressed in a comfortable pair of jeans and a white cotton tee shirt and with a firm resolve in regards to her companion. She made her way back to the console room and quietly stood in the doorway observing the Doctor. He was seated on the captain's chair with his feet on the console and his eyes closed as if in concentration. She figured he was probably communing with his ship.

As upset as she still was with what he had done, she just could not stay angry with him. Even at his most oblivious she could not imagine him never having been a part of her life. Just as she finished her thought, his eyes opened and found hers. There was an extended silence between the pair before the Doctor gently spoke first, "Feeling better?"

"A bit," she replied.

He nodded as he lowered his feet from the console, "Good. I was hoping we could talk about things more civilly."

She didn't reply right away which prompted him to scoot over and pat the seat next to him. Martha hesitated again, briefly. She didn't want him to think she was caving or that he could charm his way out of this situation. Yet she also didn't want this to devolve into another bout of sarcasm and antagonism either. So with a quiet sigh, she moved further into the room and eventually joined him on the chair.

For the Doctor it was awkward not knowing exactly what to say. He was used to talking his way out of almost anything but with Martha, he'd always found it difficult. She hardly ever let him off easy, challenging him about everything. Even when he tried to stonewall, she refused to back down and if he was honest it was one of the things he admired most about her but it also made him uneasy. She was undeterred by all his bluster and pretense. His carefully crafted walls were no match for her stubborn determination and now they sat at a crossroads.

Finally, slowly, Martha stated, "We need a break."

And for a refreshing instant a smile played on the edges of his mouth as inwardly he sighed with relief. A break. She wanted a break. It might be just what the Doctor ordered, some time alone with no impending danger to help them put this behind them. "I think that could be arranged, Dr. Jones. Is there anywhere in particular you want to go? There's the moon of Paris which has nothing but lush vegetation covering gorgeous mountain ranges. It's thought to be quite a spiritual experience. Then there's the pleasure planet of Tuvia in the Andromeda solar system where anything you can think up the resort there will create for you."

He began to rise intending to search for coordinates when she stopped him with her next words. "I meant a break from each other."

He instantly sat back down and looked at her intently, "You're not serious."

"I think we could both use some time to figure out if this what we really want," she returned matter of factly.

"Martha . . ."

She had been looking forward since the conversation began and still refused to return his gaze, "I just think this is best considering the circumstances."

The Doctor was once again in panic mode. Was she really proposing what he thought she was? After everything they had been through and everything she said back in New York could she be preparing to bail out?

"Martha, please look at me," he softly beseeched. He needed to see her eyes, to know if this was for real.

She finally honored his request and was a bit surprised to see such a total look of genuine anxiety on his face as he now continued his thought, "Do you want to leave?"

"Just for a few days. I need to wrap my mind around everything and I think if you're honest so do you. The incident in Africa is just a symptom of bigger things in our relationship."

She paused and rose from her perch on the captain's chair before continuing, "There has always been a power imbalance between us and what happened in Freetown just highlighted it. You're a Time Lord with all the knowledge of time and space at your disposal and I'm a human with limited knowledge in comparison. I accept that but when you use your superior gifts to limit mine further I can't consent to that. Also the fact that I have always had so much more of myself invested in this relationship than you ever have means that anything you do has the power to affect me in both good and bad ways. I promised myself when I came back I would not lose myself that way again and in order to keep that promise, I have to take a step back before things go too far."

The Doctor looked up at her with pleading in his eyes, "There has to be some other way to do this. Walking away always makes it easier to stay away. I know from experience. What if I just give you some space here in the TARDIS while you figure things out?"

Martha closed her eyes and shook her head, "It won't work . . . I'd still be on your turf. I'm asking for time. I have no intention or desire to leave permanently but I do need to figure out how I can move past this while giving you the opportunity to decide if having me here is what you really want and need."

"I already know the answer."

"But I don't. I don't know if I can get past what you did when I know behind it is a clear lack of faith in my ability to handle this life. I need to think things through and decide how I move forward with that knowledge."

The Doctor remained quiet this time letting the weight of her words sink in. She really thought he didn't think she could handle herself. He sighed inwardly as his ship again tried to get him to make clear the real reason for his actions and this time, he waivered. The last thing he wanted was for her to leave him again, especially thinking he didn't believe her capable, but with no guarantee that his true reasoning would change her mind, he again decided to remain silent. A part of him was still guarding his hearts so that if she ended up walking away for good, he would still, outwardly anyway, have that intact.

Martha could see his mind whirring with thoughts, possibly of how to deter her but before he could formulate a rebuttal, she softly pulled him from his contemplations.

"Doctor, I need to do this. Please tell me you understand why?"

He sighed deeply as he now rose to join her, "Yeah . . . I get it."

He then turned to the console and began to work the buttons. "Back to Earth, then. Your mum's place, I assume?"

"Actually Tish offered me her guest room so you can just drop me near Hyde Park," she replied.

He nodded again and began putting in the coordinates. Martha studied him for a long moment. She really didn't want to go but knew if she allowed his actions to stand it would make it easier for them both to fall back into old habits and she could not accept that. If things were going to work for them this time, both needed to be on the same page. She finally turned and headed back down the corridor to her room to collect the bag she had already packed.

The Doctor was waiting near the top of the ramp when she returned. She walked over to join him and once more silence briefly enrobed them. Martha played with the strap of her duffle while the Doctor steadily gazed at her as if trying to find words to say something. Finally, he gently spoke, "I do get it but I don't like it."

She gave him a faint smile but didn't reply which prompted him to add, "Just for a couple of days, right?"

"That's the plan," she eventually offered. With that he gave her a soft smile and raised a hand to caress her face but instinctively Martha flinched away from the contact. The reaction startled both of them. Martha, in her head, didn't believe he would try to keep her there against her will but so soon after what happened in Africa her instincts just kicked in. Martha quickly broke away from his gaze and quietly concluded, "I better go."

The Doctor only nodded as she moved past him and continued on to the door. As he slowly turned and watched her go, he was still a bit dazed by her reaction. It showed him just how much damage he had caused. She was wary of him now and that was something he never wanted to happen. How did he always manage to screw up the few good things he had in his life?


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the delay. I have two ready, though. Hope you continue to enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 8 . . .

Martha arrived at her sister's two bedroom townhome to a warm welcome. "Welcome back to Earth, Sis," Tish stated as she embraced her younger sibling.

Martha smiled warmly, "It's good to be back."

The duo eventually moved further in the house and once she dropped her bag off in the downstairs bed room, Martha joined her sister in the kitchen where she had tea ready.

"So tell me everything. How are things going with you two?" Tish began.

Martha took a long sip of her tea before speaking, "First things first, did you do as I asked?"

Tish held up a hand and crossed her heart, "I swear I didn't say a word to mum about you coming home even though I don't get why. She would love to see you."

"And she will but I'm just not ready for the third degree yet. Thanks."

"Of course. Now spill. What have you and the Doctor been up to?"

Martha sighed. She didn't think it was fair to just dive into her own drama first thing. After all, she hadn't seen her family in nearly a month, by their view. So she decided to build up to herself, "You first. What's been going on here?"

Tish rolled her eyes in annoyance at her sister's evasiveness but responded anyway, "Nothing much. My event planning business is doing well. We have a gala for a non-profit coming up in a couple of weeks."

"That's great, Tish. Congratulations."

"Thank you. As for mum and dad, they're actually in the midst of a good spell. They have been out together a few times and, Lord help me, I caught them "together" one day when I went to the house."

Martha's eyes widened, "Oh my God! That must have been traumatic."

Tish couldn't hold back a giggle, "To say the least. Especially since I caught them in the kitchen."

Martha put up her hands this time, "Alright, we can skip those details. How about Leo?"

"He and Keisha actually took the baby to Disneyworld. Said he loved it."

"That's awesome. I feel like I've missed so much," Martha replied with a hint of sadness in her tone. Her sister couldn't help but pick up on the slight melancholy.

Gently she inquired, "Martha, are you OK? You seem a little down."

Her first instinct was usually to blow off such concerns but this was part of the reason she had decided to come back. She needed a fresh perspective and she knew Tish would give it to her without all the judgment her mother would dole out on the side.

"Besides wanting to see everyone, there was another reason that I came back. But before I tell you I need your word that whatever is said between us stays between us. The last thing I need right now is mum saying I told you so."

Tish looked at her with even more concern, "Told you what? Martha, what's wrong?"

Martha, though, persisted, "Promise me."

"I promise. Now tell me what happened?"

After one more sip from her tea, Martha pushed the cup aside and slowly went about rehashing everything that had brought her back home. Tish sat in what appeared to be silent awe as her kid sister recounted her time in 18th century Africa. Martha couldn't really read the expression on her sister's face as she wrapped up her tale but she knew Tish would have some insight.

Tish, for her part, remained quiet a bit longer before she seemed to find her voice again, "This is a lot to take in, Martha. I don't even know where to begin. You were nearly kidnapped by slave traders, almost caught in a war, and the Doctor knocked you out?"

Martha nodded, "I was so stunned. It never occurred to me that he would ever do something like that. It's like even after everything we've gone through . . . everything I have done for him that he still sees me as a rookie who can't handle myself. I just don't get it."

Tish noticed that she glossed over the two other items in the list and dived right in to the last. It was clear to her that Martha, surprisingly, wasn't either seeing or acknowledging the connection between the first two and the last. She studied her for long moment as though trying to figure something on her own before she finally spoke again, "Can we back up a minute? Martha, you were nearly carted off to slavery. I'm horrified just hearing about it. How do you think the Doctor was feeling while witnessing it?"

Martha furrowed her brow, "What does that have . . . wait what are you getting at?

"You're the genius in the family. What do you think I'm getting at?"

Martha thought for a moment before replying, "You think he was upset too."

Tish simply nodded causing her sister to respond pointedly, "I'm not saying it wasn't a disturbing scene to walk in on but you don't know him the way I do. Yes, he is always been concerned about his companions' safety but would not allow his concern to dictate his actions especially when he knows that they can handle the situations they find themselves in."

Tish bluntly returned, "Are you sure about that? After all weren't you the one who said you two had become closer of late. Do you really think that has no bearing on what came later?"

Again Martha was quiet for a beat. Could her sister be right? She looked her sibling in the eye and barely hung on to her own notions, "Besides, that happened like three days before he decided to knock me out. Why would he have waited that long to act or say something if he really believed me to be in danger?"

Tish sighed, "Well, for one, you asked him to stay longer and help remember? And then when the little boy went missing, you were prepared to go back out into a dangerous situation without thinking it through. He probably had been thinking about what nearly happened since that day. When he couldn't convince you to stay back, he probably panicked."

Martha's head was now swimming. Could all of this have been about him being scared for her? Why didn't that thought ever occur to her? "This doesn't make any sense. Why wouldn't he just say that then?"

"Because he's a guy and I'm sure species has little bearing on this truth, guys are dense when it comes to emotions. They can fight wars and solve complicated equations but when it comes to something like expressing their feelings it's like they can't grasp the concept. He thought he was protecting you and this was how he went about it."

"And I should just accept that as a proper reaction?" Martha tartly retorted.

Tish held up her hands, "I'm not saying I agree with the method. Knocking you out was definitely not cool but the reasons for it . . . I think you could understand that."

Martha narrowed her eyes at her sister, "So, you really believe that's why he did it?"

"I think it's a pretty safe bet basic fear played a big role in his decision."

Martha still appeared less than convinced so Tish continued, "I'm serious, Martha. You were nearly assaulted and kidnapped by slave traders and then you're all gun ho to go traipsing back out into the jungle when there might have been other traders out there. He freaked and did something majorly stupid but still, I think it's clear he was only trying to protect you."

Martha took a moment to turn that over in her mind. Was he trying to keep her safe? Something so simple . . . so human and it was partly because of that, she never stopped to consider that it might be the reason for his actions. She was so used to him reminding her and anyone who would listen that he was not human but at his hearts he had some of the same tendencies. Martha now couldn't decide what was more unnerving, that things had changed that much between them or that her first thought was that he had done what he did out of disrespect.

"Tish, even if you're right, what does it say when he would choose to do that rather than just talk to me," Martha replied.

Her sister pushed her own cup away and leaned into the table some as she retorted, "Let me ask you this, would you have listened?"

Martha narrowed her eyes at her. Her first instinct was to curtly reply in the affirmative but after thinking about it for a bit longer she remained silent which served to urge Tish forward.

"Martha, you're my baby sister and I love you but sometimes you can be . . . stubborn. Especially when you think you're right."

Again, Martha wanted to protest but inside knew she could not. In fact up until he knocked her unconscious, he had been trying to convince her to stay behind but she barely registered his reasons. All she heard was him trying to impede her and she had reacted in her defense. She only sighed this time as she now rose from her seat and began to pace. Could she have really misread this situation so thoroughly?

Tish could see that her little sister was considering her words and decided to add something else for her to think about. "Sweetie, it's apparent he cares but just didn't express it the way you would have liked. He acted rashly but that doesn't mean he wasn't still acting from the heart. So you have to think and decide if one action, misguided as it might have been, is enough to derail everything else you two have and share."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9** . . .**

"_All I'm asking is that you be straight with me. No games, no allusions, just . . . just be honest with me." _

_And I will always, always be there when you need me. All you have to do is say the word."_

It was these words that rang through the quiet within the TARDIS. Back in New York, after everything was said and done, all Martha had asked from him was his honesty and in return she promised to be there and he couldn't even manage that. Now look at them. She was back on Earth questioning everything and he was alone here in his ship, trying not to let his return to solitude overtake him. It had only been a day and he already felt as alone as he ever had.

The Doctor stood staring at the monitor as if trying to decide where to go next. In reality, he was thinking about what he was going to do if Martha, in her time away, decided she wasn't coming back. Usually he would just move on, pick up another companion along the way and continue on. Yet he sensed this would not be the case if Martha walked away again. He'd become so attached her over their entire relationship. Even when she wasn't with him, he could feel her presence and influence in what he did. Donna had noticed it and he cherished it but now he was left wondering how he would cope if he knew he could not depend on that or her anymore. What if she decided knowing him wasn't worth the chaos that came with it and banned him from her life?

He shook his head attempting to clear it of those thoughts. After everything they had gone through, including nearly the end of the universe, he would not allow himself to believe this would be the thing to do them in. Because prior to Africa, things had been going relatively well. For three months, they adventured and got reacquainted and even progressed with more outward showings of affection. Yet even during these seemingly good times, he also felt something had been off between them almost from the beginning.

Martha seemed more hesitant about the things they did. At first he chalked it up to her readjusting to being on the TARDIS but the more he observed her, the more he sensed she was guarding herself not just when they were out but even with him. There had always been a background tension between them, mostly because of his own hesitancy to let her get too close, but now she seemed to be the one wavering. Considering their history, he could understand it but he thought that when they got back on board and she saw how much he was trying to be more open with her that she would relax. That, however, never really happened and now his actions had sent her scurrying back to Earth and possibly away for good.

For his part, the Doctor felt that maybe he had been trying too hard to "make things work". While he was busy trying to prove to her that this time would be different, his very eagerness might have contributed to her unease. Change was good but too much too soon might have just made her think he was forcing things to please her. Had he been moving too fast? Maybe they had both been forcing the issue just to prove that things had indeed changed. The Doctor, though, could not and did not want to imagine what the last three months might have been like without her there. No matter their issues, having Martha here was what he wanted and he knew he needed to figure out how he could make things better.

He strolled around the console a couple of times before reaching for a familiar item. He momentarily palmed the small silver phone and stared at it as if willing it to ring and much to his surprise it did. For a brief moment he thought it might be Martha. He could tell her everything, apologize and ask her to come back. Another moment of déjà vu flashed over him and caused him to wonder if this was the universe giving him the opportunity to right a previous wrong. The last time she walked away he just let her and he always regretted not doing more to convince her to stay.

But as his eyes focused on the ID screen, he was disappointed. Instead another familiar name and number flashed before his eyes. He hesitated briefly before pressing the answer key, "Hey, Jack, what's up?"

"Nothing much. I hadn't heard from you or Martha since you hit the road again and hoped to talk you two into a pit stop on Earth to catch up," the captain returned cheerfully.

"Actually Martha's already there, visiting her family," he offered.

Jack joked, "Well, I guess I could settle for just you this one time."

The Doctor smirked in spite of himself, "With an invitation like that how can I refuse?"

"So I can expect you then?"

The Doctor thought a minute about begging off. He knew Jack would want to talk about his and Martha's journeys up to this point and he was unsure if he wanted to get into everything with him. But after a quick beat, he recognized that his friend did have more experience with human relationships than he did and might be able to offer some insights that could help him with Martha. So he finally responded, "Sure. Where and when?"

* * *

The Doctor started to regret his decision to meet Jack shortly after his arrival at a local coffee shop in Cardiff. The pair had spent a brief time catching up before the Doctor delved into his current situation with Martha. Jack had surprisingly listened with patience as he explained what happen and it was only when he'd finished that his friend's look and lack of speech had him second guessing his choice. The immortal man appeared to be at a loss. The truth was Jack just could not believe the Doctor had come to him with this. He usually had an answer for everything but it appeared the lovely Dr. Jones had managed to stump even the Time Lord.

He finally got himself together enough to answer back, "You're kidding. Please tell me you didn't do that."

"Yes, Jack, I did and now Martha's gone and I don't know if she plans on coming back or how I can fix this."

Jack shook his head in continued disbelief as he teasingly replied, "Wow . . . I mean wow. For the being the cleverest being in the universe . . . Wow."

The Doctor's frustration at the entire situation began to get the best of him and he snapped at Jack's tone, "Thanks, Jack. That's really helpful. I should have known this was a mistake."

He began to rise from the booth they were sharing causing Jack to quiet. He could see immediately that his friend was really upset about things and so he quickly attempted to soothe the situation between them. Jack called him back.

"Come on, Doc. I'm sorry alright. I'm just trying to take it all in. I promise, no more teases."

The Doctor reluctantly retook his seat and the two men stared at each other for a long moment before Doctor asked, "So how majorly did I screw up?"

"Just tell me why you did it?"

The Time Lord studied his former companion across the table for a long moment before stating, "It's complicated."

Jack, though, wasn't buying that answer, "Doctor, if you want my help, I need you to be straight with me. Now tell me why did you knocked Martha unconscious? We both know it has nothing to do with her not being able to handle herself in a dangerous situation."

The Doctor hesitated again for a moment before sighing loudly and softly saying, "Jack, if you would have seen the way those guys were leering at her . . . they had her bound and gagged and who knows what would have happened if I hadn't realized she was gone. I don't even want to think about it but I couldn't stop after it happened."

"So you were trying to protect her then?" Jack deduced.

"Yeah . . . I didn't want to risk her being out there again," he returned evenly.

Jack, noticing his hesitation, narrowed his eyes at his friend and pressed, "Is there something else?"

The Doctor looked away from his steady gaze briefly and then turned back to the Captain and confessed, "I almost lost her. She was snatched right from my side and that thought scares the hell out of me. That in an instant she could be gone . . . just like . . ."

Jack nodded knowingly, "But you didn't lose her and she is fine . . . well except for the whole being pissed with you right now."

The first hint of a smile since their chat began crept on the Doctor's face, faint as it was.

"Look, Doctor, I get it. You wanted to keep her safe but there are some things women, especially human women, just shrink away from and being manhandled caveman style is at the top of that list."

"What else was I supposed to do? She wouldn't listen to reason."

Jack sighed, "Did you really try to reason with her or did you do what you usually do? You know make a statement that is actually more of an order that you expect your companion to just follow."

The Doctor looked indignant, "I don't do that."

Jack raised a brow of disagreement causing the Doctor to finally concede, a bit,"Well, not much."

"I'm not saying this to be insulting, it's just that sometimes, OK most of the time, you tend to demand or order more than talk to or reason. No one likes to be talked down to."

The Time Lord seemed to be considering his words but, as Jack knew would be the case, he wasn't ready to give in completely. "Well it's very rare that I have time for debates about a situation. Often I do understand the situation better and need to act quickly. When did that become a crime?"

"Fair enough. We, meaning your companions, get that you're a Time Lord and know more than we will probably ever hope to know but that doesn't mean we don't have valid points to make at times. But when you get all paternalistic, you can make us feel like what we say isn't important. Especially with someone like Martha, who is brilliant in her own right. After all she is a doctor."

"So what am I supposed to do? Just let you lot go off on your own and get into all sorts of trouble?" he replied.

Jack returned, "No, but you were the one asked Martha back on the TARDIS, right? So you have to be willing to take into account her feelings on what happens now that she is back. The biggest problem I see is that you both are so sure you're right and no one wants to back down. If this is going to work out, both of you have to be willing to be more flexible. You can't treat her as your protégé anymore. I think we can both agree Martha has paid her dues and earned her stripes. She deserves to, at the very least, have her thoughts acknowledge even if you decide in the end to go another way."

This time the Doctor had no quick retort because he knew Jack was right about everything he was saying. The Doctor was used to being the most clever being in the room but with Martha, he knew she had her own, quite exceptional, mind and would never accept being lead around like a mindless zombie. On more than a few occasions, in fact, she had offered insight that he himself had over looked. Yet old tendencies lingered with him and Jack was pointing out how they were affecting his relationship to Martha. The captain was right . . . sometimes he was a thick genius.

He finally responded to his friend's sage words with less obstinacy, "Alright then. How do I fix this?"

Jack gave him that classic grin as he replied, "First, apologize. Even if you think you were dead right to do what you did, apologize because until you do she won't listen to anything else you say."

The Doctor withheld comment for the moment and nodded for Jack to continue.

"Second, tell her the real reason why you did it. I know this is a tough proposition especially for you and your Time Lord image but telling her that you were scared and concerned for her well- being is better than having her believe that this was about her not being able to handle herself in the field."

The Doctor took a moment to consider the advice before solemnly replying, "I hear what you're saying, Jack, but I don't know if I can do it. I want to be closer to Martha but at the same time there are parts of me that can't seem to let go of that need to keep people at a distance. If I do what you're suggesting then I make myself more vulnerable to her than I have to anyone in a long time. I don't want to hurt her but I don't want to be hurt either."

Jack gave him an understanding smile as he astutely returned, "Anytime you open your heart to someone there's the risk of being hurt but there is also the possibility of a joy like you have never experienced. So you have to ask yourself is the risk worth the possible reward? And if it is, then you go to her and come clean. Martha is reasonable and if you're frank with her, I have no doubt she will forgive you and come back."

The Doctor nodded and quietly contemplated the captain's words as Jack smiled to himself, finding this more reflective Doctor a breath of fresh air.


	10. Chapter 10

Again, I want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed my story. All your interest and comments are always appreciated.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 10 . . .

Martha got an earful from her mother the day after she returned. Francine could not believe she had been home a whole day before letting her know she was home for a visit. Tish had been in the shower when their mother unexpectedly dropped by before work. Martha had to answer the door and was as stunned as the matriarch initially. She had planned to seek her mum out that evening but her mother was having none of that now. After she was appropriately shamed, Francine declared that they would have a family dinner the following night so that they could all catch up. Martha was not interested in an argument and her mother's rant and declaration had at least kept her from probing into Martha's real reasons for coming home. She simply nodded her agreement and promised to meet her for lunch later that day as well.

Once her mum and Tish were off to work, Martha took the time alone to think again about her situation. As she lounged on her sister's couch in her pjs, she was still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that the Doctor might have really did what he did out of fear for her well-being. She was so used to him either ignoring her or barely acknowledging her feelings that the idea of her safety garnering that kind of reaction was unreal. The method, as her sister agreed, was not the best but the reasoning behind it gave Martha more than a passing pause. Wasn't this what she'd always imagined? All those months on the TARDIS her first time out, all she wanted was for him to care . . . to show more than a fleeting regard for her. Now he had crossed that threshold, though not in the way she had envisioned, and she was left to figure out how to respond to his attempt.

Martha knew she could not condone his approach. To do so would be to make it seem an acceptable way to deal with her. She needed for there to boundaries or else risk falling back into old patterns and repeating mistakes of the past. Yet the more she thought about it, she felt like she could not fault his desire to protect her. He cared enough to risk her wrath and act in her best interest. And what had she done in return? She had thrown that concern back in his face and walked out. What happened to her grand speech about always being there, even when things got tough? Were they just words or was she willing to back them up, swallow her wounded pride and try to work things out? Didn't she owe that to him and herself?

* * *

Martha was finishing off her outfit for the family dinner. It was casual of course but casual by Francine Jones' estimation meant at the least business casual. No ripped jeans or sweats were allowed. So Martha decided on a simple navy wrap dress and mid- calf black boots. Her hair was pinned up and her makeup light. She'd just given herself the once over when she heard a knock at the door. A moment later she heard her sister call out, "Martha, you have a visitor."

Martha was briefly stumped by who it might be. After all she hadn't told anyone but her family she was home and she was about to go see them. She gave herself one more look in the mirror before heading out of her room. She stepped into the living area just in time to hear Tish laugh coyly. Martha's voice caught when she recognized the familiar frame before her sister.

"Doctor . . . what are you doing here?" she finally managed to get out.

He removed his gaze from her sister and placed it firmly on her. Tish turned and watched as the pair eyed each other for a long moment. The Doctor eventually broke the quiet, "You look . . . lovely."

Martha fought hard not blush under his obvious scrutiny.

"Thanks but you still didn't answer me. Why are you here?" she asked a bit more abruptly than she meant to.

He looked away from her gaze briefly, not really sure how to answer that question at the moment. She had asked for time to figure out how she felt about things and it had been only three days but after his talk with Jack he just felt like he needed to see and speak to her sooner rather than later. Tish, though, noticed the awkwardness overtaking the pair and attempted to mediate it.

She glanced knowingly at her sister before piping in, "I'm sure Martha just means she was surprised, right?"

Martha exhaled and realized her tone had been overly harsh. She nodded, "Yeah . . . I just wasn't expecting you."

The Doctor returned his gaze to the young doctor and spoke again, "Sorry about that. I was just hoping you might be up to a chat?"

"We were actually just on our way out to a family dinner," Martha offered half-heartedly.

He nodded, "Of course. I shouldn't have just popped in. We can talk later."

He then turned back to the door, preparing to go when Tish looked sternly at her sister and silently urged her to stop him. Martha tried to wave her off, not sure she was ready to deal with him yet. Tish, though, intervened once more, "I can cover for you for a bit, Martha. I'll tell mum you had to take care of something important."

The Doctor paused his departure and turned back to the pair. He could see the look of disease on Martha's face as well as the determination on her siblings. The last thing he wanted was to place his companion in another awkward position and so as he looked between the two women, he was about to beg off. Yet before he could even begin, the eldest Jones girl put the final nail in the discussion. She reached for her purse and moved past him and to the door herself.

She glanced first at the Doctor and then her sister and gave her a smile and wink, "I'll see you at dinner."

She then vanished before either could object.

Once Tish was gone, another lingering silence spread between the pair. Martha was fidgeting with the knot tied at her hip while the Doctor rocked on the balls of his feet. He finally broke the stalemate, "I really am sorry about interrupting your evening. We can do this later."

Martha realized, in her own pushy way, Tish was right to force her into clearing the air as soon as possible. The longer she lingered, the more chance she would talk herself out of facing it at all. So with a quiet sigh she shook her head, "No . . . I think now is the time."

He gave her small smile of relief which she returned. Then after another brief silence, the Doctor took the lead yet again, "Martha, what happened in Africa . . . you were right. I crossed a line I had no right to and I'm sorry for that. I never want you to feel you can't trust me."

Martha's smile grew a bit and she felt a wave of relief was over her when he offered his apology. She had been afraid he would try rationalizing his actions or belittling her hurt. His sincerity moved her and made her want to immediately respond but almost as if sensing her desire, he held up a hand to stop her and continued, "And I also need to apologize for not telling you the real reason why I did it."

He paused and soberly gazed at her as he offered, "I was scared. Plain and simple. I saw those men attempting to harm you and it frightened me. Seeing you so vulnerable brought back past memories of loss and made me do something unthinkable and for that I am also sorry."

Martha could see on his face and feel in his words his genuine regret and remorse. It was a poignant moment for her and she found herself wanting to be soothing. "Doctor. . ."

He though stopped her once more with his next statement. "But the thing I'm most sorry for is letting you walk out of the TARDIS again thinking that I did not recognize and appreciate all that you are and do. After everything you and I have been through, I know without a doubt you're more than capable of handling anything we face. Never doubt that."

Martha's eyes betrayed exactly how she was feeling. As they widened slightly at his multiple apologies, she was left momentarily speechless. It had been a rare occasion when he had ever apologized for his thoughtless behaviors in the past. He would either sweep it under the rug or try to justify his actions without admitting fault. But this time, when she needed to know that things were not the same as in the past, he had come through. He had humbly admitted that he messed up. It both caught her off guard and put her at ease. Humility was not something he was known for but that simple act showed her that he was growing and changing. And it was that knowledge that made her feel comfortable in showing her own growth.

"Thank you for saying that. I really needed to hear it." She paused at his slight smile and nod. Then with a deep sigh, she softly continued, "And. . . I'm sorry too."

His smile slowly melted into a confused stare, "For what?"

Martha gave a sad smile of her own as she answered, "Since I stepped foot back in the TARDIS, I have been waiting . . . waiting for the other shoe to drop. A part of me was still not convinced this time would be any different from the last. So I never completely relaxed into the situation. I'm sorry for not having more faith in you to genuinely make things different."

The Doctor smiled in spite of himself as quietly conferred, "Well, considering our previous relationship, I can understand why you might have doubts."

She tried and failed to return his levity, "Yeah, but I still came back under the guise of a clean slate while knowing all the while it wasn't really. The fact that it never occurred to me that you might have been scared about what had nearly happened to me says a lot about my state of mind at the time. My first thought was that you were disparaging my abilities. Now I can get how you can be so clever and so oblivious all at the same time."

The Time Lord moved closer to his companion and soothingly replied, "It looks like we both have some things we need to work on then."

Martha finally gave a small smile of her own, "I guess so."

His smile broadened into that familiar grin she loved so much as he held his arms open. She closed the remaining distance and allowed him to enfold her in a lingering hug. Both sighed and relaxed into the hold standing that way for quite a while before the Doctor softly inquired, "So does this mean you're ready to come back?"

He felt her inhale sharply and then slowly begin to pull back. He found her eyes. She looked calm but determined as she replied, "Not yet."

His face instantly fell and he was about to question her when Martha gave a reassuring smile and softly continued, "There is just more that needs to be said."

She then completely moved out of his hold and began to move further into the house. The Doctor watched in confusion until she paused upon reaching the kitchen entrance and with a motion of her head beckoned him to follow. The pair eventually walked out a side door and onto a cozy wooden deck area outside. Martha leaned against the railing and gazed up at the clear night sky and the moon that punctuated it.

The Doctor remained standing near the door for a few moments just observing her. In his mind he knew it was daft that he had allowed yet another human woman to cause him to reconsider his life of solitude. After Rose, he convinced himself that he could not afford to become so close to any of his companions again. Yet with Martha it seemed to catch him unawares. He tried aloofness, abruptness and even gruffness at times but she didn't waver and stood by him through some of the worst times of this life. She opened him again to all the wonder and possibilities still to be found and as irrational as he knew it was, he also found himself hoping she'd be with him for a good long time. The Doctor smiled at his thoughts and at the petite woman that stood just before him as he finally moved to join her. Once he settled at her side, Martha, with her eyes still firmly on the moon in the sky, began to speak again.

"You remember the first day we met?"

His smiled brightened, "Of course. Judoon, a Plasmavore and a round trip to the moon."

Martha quietly chuckled, "I think you're forgetting eccentric old Time Lords."

"Oi!" he began but when Martha glanced over at him with small smirk, he relented, "OK . . . and an eccentric, relatively older Time Lord."

Martha's smile brightened as she shook her head and returned her gaze back to the glowing orb in the sky, "And even with all the strangeness of that day, honestly, it was the last time I ever really felt like myself."

"Really?" he questioned.

She nodded, "Before that day I was Martha Jones med student. I had everything planned out and was so sure what my life would become. After meeting you, my whole outlook on the world and myself changed, in both good and bad ways. I gained such a greater perspective on life but I also feel like I lost, at least for a while, some of the things that made me who I was."

"Martha . . ." he returned.

She shook her head, "I'm not blaming you. It was more me doing things I always swore I wouldn't like fawning over some guy who barely knew I existed."

She heard him humph and quickly moved forward, "It was like that friend I mentioned to you the first time I left and even my sister on occasion. I was always the one telling them they deserved better and to get over it but until you're in that situation I guess it's hard to understand. The heart sometimes just wants what it wants, no matter how impossible it might seem."

The Doctor only sighed this time. He and Martha had more in common than either often was willing to admit. He could remember a time when he was so fixated on Rose, and ultimately that loss, that it bordered on obsession.

Martha finally placed her gaze on him as she thoughtfully continued, "But as time has gone by, I realized what I regretted the most from that time was not appreciating what I did have with you. You were my best friend. We saw and did so many amazing things yet all I could see at the time was what I couldn't have. Now I find myself wanting to return to that friendship."

That admission shocked the Doctor and he allowed his face to betray just that. Again Martha moved to answer his surprise, "I'm not saying I want to revisit everything from then. I could do without the indifference and tension but I also want whatever we might possibly have in the future to be based on something solid like our friendship."

Much to her surprise, the Doctor remained quiet. She felt like she was dominating the conversation, though she knew what she said needed to be said. Now, though, he stood at her side silent and it was beginning to unnerve her. He was rarely at loss for words but here they stood in the thickest silence she had ever had in his presence. Martha kept stealing glances at him as the moments seemed to drag on.

The Doctor, though, had many words but was trying to find the right ones for this moment. He could appreciate the irony that just as he takes a step forward, showing her a more vulnerable side, she wants to step back and reestablish something they had before. But what she said made all the sense in the world. What could be better than to have your best friend and the person you . . . the person you're closet to be one in the same? Building, whatever they were building, on something concrete such as friendship that had been so good at its best could only help their cause. So with the beginnings of that famous grin, he eventually turned to her and said, "You're brilliant, Martha Jones. Just brilliant."

A much relieved Martha joined him in the smile before easily looping her arm through his and gently resting her head on his shoulder. The pair stayed this way for a while before Martha sighed and reluctantly broke the moment, "I still have to get to that dinner. My mum'll have my head if I skip."

He leaned in a bit and placed a soft kiss on her head, "We can't have that. I'll come along as your alibi for being late."

She pulled away and looked up at him, "You don't have to."

"I know I don't have to." He paused and gave her brilliant smile and a wink, "So, shall go?"

She gave him another warm smile before nodding, "Let's go."


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 11 . . .

Upon arriving at her mum's home, Martha and the Doctor found everyone crowded around the dining table eating and chatting loudly. The conversation abruptly ended, though, when the tardy pair stepped through the doorway.

"Hi guys, sorry I'm late," Martha began looking at her less than pleased mother.

The Doctor recognized the tension instantly and quickly added, "It was totally my fault. I just popped in unexpectedly."

"No worries. All that matters is that you're here. Right?" chimed in Tish.

Francine sighed while looking intently at her youngest daughter, "I suppose, though, the whole point of this dinner was spending time with you."

Clive gave his ex a censorious look, "Francine, just leave it. She's here now. Let's enjoy it."

The matriarch clicked her tongue but otherwise remained silent. The attention then went back to the pair standing at the door with Leo attempting to lighten the mood, as usual.

"So are you two waiting for an engraved invitation?"

Martha smirked and then turned back to the Doctor, "Thanks for coming in with me."

He raised a brow, "You putting me out?"

"No, of course not. I just know how much you like to avoid any semblance of domesticity," she softly replied.

Martha's father firmly interjected before the Doctor could attempt to respond, "Nonsense. As much time as he's spent in our lives, he's practically part of the family. Of course he is staying."

Martha was set to protest on the Doctor's behalf when her mother regained her voice and added, "Besides, look at him . . . he's just skin and bones. I wouldn't feel right sending him back out without a proper meal."

Martha narrowed her gaze at her mother, disturbed by her suddenly accepting words. She then turned back to her companion and quietly asserted, "You can go, really. I'll deal with this lot."

He looked from her eyes to the other Jones' gathered around the table before finally declaring, "Wouldn't want to be rude." He then briefly paused, clapping his hands together, "So what are we having?"

* * *

The evening went surprisingly well. Once the Doctor and Martha got settled around the table, the conversation resumed and flowed freely. The chatting was kept light for the most part. The Jones' shared what they'd been up to while Martha was away and the Doctor and Martha regaled them with tales of their travels, leaving out their most recent trip. Tish, Leo and even her father appeared to step in just at the right moment whenever her mum began to pry too much. The evening went on this way until everyone seemed to get their fill. As everything began to wind down, Leo and Martha's dad gravitated towards the den to catch the end of a football game while her mother and Tish began putting away the leftovers. This left Martha and the Doctor with the final task of washing the dishes.

The duo went about their chore in relative silence until her sister and mother finished up and also drifted into the den. That's when Martha, who was prewashing while the Doctor loaded the machine, leaned in and softly said, "Thanks for staying."

He glanced over at her and smiled, "It was actually quite fun . . . seeing you interact with your family. I mean without a monster attack or a meltdown in the streets."

Martha chuckled as she playfully nudged him with her elbow, "You getting sentimental in your old age?"

"Maybe I am. Seems to be happening a lot since you came back into my life," he replied.

She paused in passing him dishes and gazed at him, "Is that compliment or a complaint?"

The Doctor returned her look and calmly stated, "It's an observation."

The pair then shared a brief, quiet gaze before continuing on with their task. When she handed him the last dish he took it and put it aside and kept hold of her hand, causing her to look into his eyes once more. In them she observed something she had seen rarely and never directed at her. It was something akin to longing and finally he spoke with such earnestness that Martha had to fight to remain stoic.

"You are my best friend too, Martha, and I am so thankful that you came back into my life."

They both shared a smile before she removed her hand from his and proceeded to wrap her arms around his midsection securely. He encircled her small frame as well and gave her a light squeeze before the couple settled in to the embrace. It was a comfortable but brief interlude that was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. They both started and turned to see Francine watching with a deliberate eye.

She had actually been observing the pair the whole night and came in on the tail end of their clean up, having overheard their exchange. Even with her skeptical view of the twosome, she could see just from that little interaction that the two were quite close. As a mother, Francine was still anxious about the relationship and probably always would be. Yet she also knew continuing to push against the grain would only drive her daughter away and she would not allow that. So gently she stepped further into the kitchen and got the pair's attention.

"We about done in here?" she inquired.

Martha slowly removed herself from the Doctor's hold and turned to her mum, "Yeah, the machine just needs to be started."

"Good. Now you can go see what Tish is on about. Something about her MyBook page going loopy."

Martha chuckled, "I think you mean Facebook, Mum."

Francine waved her off, "Whatever. She needs your help so can you go handle that?"

Her youngest daughter nodded, "On it." She quickly glanced back at the Doctor, "You coming?"

He was about to reply when Francine caught his eye. Inwardly he sighed, expecting this. He gave Martha another small smile, "I'll be along after I start the dish machine."

Martha seemed to hesitate briefly. The idea of leaving the two of them alone in a room was not a comforting one. Though Francine had been pretty well behaved this night, Martha had no illusions about her mother suddenly accepting her lifestyle with the Doctor. Her companion sensing her tentativeness, reassuringly urged her on, "Go on. Don't want to keep Tish waiting."

She looked between two of the most important people in her life one last time before relenting and heading towards the den, leaving her mother and the Doctor alone.

Once Martha was out of sight, Francine placed her gaze firmly on the Time Lord. For his part the Doctor held her gaze without so much as a flinch. They stayed like this for what appeared like any eternity but was actually only moments before the Doctor broke the stalemate.

"Mrs. Jones, I get that you still don't trust me and would prefer that your daughter have nothing more to do with me but she made that choice and you agreed to abide by it. I think we should both respect her wishes."

Francine remained quiet a beat longer before finally speaking. "Are you done?"

He only nodded, steeling himself for the expected barrage that surprisingly never came. Instead, the woman before him calmly continued, "All I want to say is as long as she is happy and you keep her reasonably safe, you will be just as welcome here as Martha."

Shock registered on his face, "I'm sorry? What?"

"You heard me. I'm done interfering in my daughter's life. It hasn't done any good, for one thing, and for another, I want her to have whatever it is she thinks she wants and right now that is being with you. Just remember how precious she is to her family, Doctor, and treat her that way."

The Doctor smiled earnestly, "She's precious to me too and I promise to do my very best to keep her safe and happy."

Francine returned the smile, "Then we will have no problems."

Martha returned to the kitchen just as the pair had wrapped up their conversation. When she noticed that neither her mother nor the Doctor had returned to the den, she quickly finished up with her sister and made her way back to what she was sure she would find was a war zone. Surprisingly both occupants had amenable smiles on their faces.

"Hey, you two. Everything alright in here?"

"Perfect, Sweetheart," her mum replied as she glanced at the Doctor who echoed her sentiment.

"Brilliant."

Martha was still unsure, "Really?"

The Doctor nodded, "Yes. Your mum and I were just having a friendly chat."

Martha looked between the pair once more, "Alright, since there was no obvious bloodshed I guess I'll take your words for it."

"Oh Martha, really. When did you get so cynical?" her mother offered before turning and heading towards the door.

Once she left Martha turned back to the Doctor who had an innocent _what _look on his face. "So tell me the truth, did you have to threaten her with banishment in a wormhole to get her to be nice?"

He shook his head, "I have faced some of the most fearsome creatures the universe has to offer but threaten Francine Jones? I shudder at the thought."

The duo shared a deep laugh before the air turned serious once more as the Doctor asked, "So are we hitting the road tomorrow?"

"Where did you have in mind?" she returned.

He moved closer to her and silkily said, "Why don't we let the wind guide us?"

Martha closed the distance and smiled up at him happily, "That works for me."


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 12 . . .

'The Doctor couldn't seem to stop gazing at her. Maybe a piece of him thought if he took his eyes off her she would be gone again. Yet here she sat curled up next to him in the TARDIS theater. They had spent their first day back together touring a rather peaceful planet, Reka 5. It was known for its quaint shops and he thought it would be the best way to ease back into their travels. Unfortunately, as was usually the case, the duo found themselves caught in some drama.

_Apparently, on this planet it was customary to negotiate prices. In fact it was considered a breach of etiquette not to do so. The Doctor, however, forgot to mention how seriously this was taken to his companion. Martha had gone into a shop on her own to find some trinkets for her family. As she finished up her shopping and prepared to pay, she noticed how reasonable the prices appeared and felt a bit bothered about barter it down further. So when she reached the counter and the clerk waited patiently for her to begin the exchange, Martha asked for the total. The clerk quoted a price, gearing up for the bargaining and then Martha pulled out the amount and handed it to the shop keeper. _

_The look of complete shock on the beings face told Martha she had been wrong not to barter. The shop owner dropped the money as though it was on fire and crossly began chastise the equally as stunned human. Martha was completely at a loss. She had never been in a store that got upset about a customer paying the list price. She finally attempted to apologize but by then a few other customers heard the shop keeper's words and joined him in reprimanding the outsider for her breech of custom. By the time the Doctor found her she was surrounded by a group of riled up natives. She tried to fix it but they were too far gone for that. So the Doctor had stepped in and managed to smooth things over somehow. When they finally got back on the street, he apologized for not impressing upon her that it was more than just a suggestion to bargain and also explained why the natives were so cross. It wasn't so much the bargaining they were interested in but the conversation. This is very open society that didn't believe in meeting a stranger and the bartering with visitors was a way of inducting them into their community. Martha could only nod with a smile of understanding. She was constantly learning something new about the universe thanks to him and was grateful about that._

The duo had managed to avoid any further trouble and eventually ended up back in the TARDIS deciding to take dinner in the theater while watching a couple of movies. The second film of their double feature was playing but Martha had begun to nod off and the Doctor took the opportunity to study his dozing companion. He was still trying to understand his own feelings about this woman who had been able to affect him so much. He had perfected the art of keeping the people that he traveled with at a distance especially after Rose.

Martha, though, had reawakened a need . . . a desire to connect again. She was making him rethink his forced solitude. Back on earth Martha mentioned not feeling herself after having met him and the Doctor could now relate to that feeling. He had been doing things he never imagined he would, such as apologizing for his behavior and actually meaning it, because of her and the strangest part about this new attitude was that he was minding less and less.

He smiled as Martha shifted slightly at his side. His hand trailed lightly over her arm and his mind continued to contemplate the young doctor beside him and his feelings for her. He had spent so much time running from this very thing, getting too close to someone, letting someone matter too much. He avoided them because he knew it was doomed to end. The fact that he was a unique being within the universe was never far from his mind. He would watch anyone he cared about, with the exception of Jack, fade away at some point. Though he often portrayed himself as unaffected, he felt as deeply as anyone and the thought of putting himself and his hearts on the line for something he knew was destined to end was a huge risk.

With Martha, though, he found himself willing to take the gamble and he wasn't completely sure why. She was attractive, anyone with eyes could see that, and brilliant, always thinking on her feet, and determined, not backing down even when faced with seemingly insurmountable odds. Her compassion, though, moved him most. That she was willing to constantly place other's well-being before her own, including his, just amazed him. She'd gone through so much with him but her benevolence remained. Her example helped him through a tough spot in his life and he knew he owed her so much. He also just simply enjoyed having her there, seeing her and being able to talk with her. He didn't want to lose that.

Ever since the day they met, she just made him better. She forced him to face his demons and also to show more compassion for those he encountered. This simple human being had taught him more about what it meant to be a person than anyone before. Before the Time War, he couldn't imagine he would ever have these thoughts. Before his people perished, he would never have seriously entertained the notion of being with a human. Traveling with them was one thing but to enter into something more substantial would have been frowned upon by the Time Lords. Though he was always a bit of a rogue, he was also still very much one of them with some of the similar sensibilities. Then after the Time War, Rose came into his life and for a time he thought of something more with her. Unfortunately, fate once again stepped in and she too was tragically taken away. And then there was Martha. He did everything he could think of to discourage her and finally managed to run her off. Yet after he "succeeded", it felt like the hollowest victory of all. He knew he had hurt her and taken her for granted. He realized at the time he didn't deserve to have someone like her care so much about him.

Now, though, after everything that came after, he felt ready for something more. The three days that they had been apart had been hard. Not having her there, smiling, prodding, encouraging took something out of him. He needed her with him. He gazed down again at her resting frame cuddled close to him. All he could think about was everything he had gained when she came into his life. It was now his turn to return some of that. He would do whatever he had to . . . whatever she needed to show her that she mattered . . . had always mattered to him. They could start again, as friends but in the end friendship would not be enough for either of them and he allowed himself a smile at that realization.

* * *

Martha eventually began to stir and lazily glanced up at her mate who was smiling brightly at her. Groggily, she asked, "What's that smile about? Was I snoring?"

He chuckled and held the fingers on one of his hands slightly apart, "Maybe a little bit."

Martha sat up, playfully affronted, and countered, "I do not snore, Doctor."

Neither could keep a straight face at her protestation and laughed gaily. As the moment passed, the duo shared a lingering gaze before the Doctor spoke again, "It's good to have you back on board."

Her smile echoed his own as she teasingly replied, "So you missed me then?"

Martha didn't expect him to answer. He wasn't the overly sentimental type, despite what she said back on earth. It was enough for her that he was happy she was there. The Doctor, though, continued to show his own evolution by plainly stating, "Yeah . . . I did."

Martha's eyes widen a little at his frankness. She was trying to get used to the Doctor being more open but at times it was still a bit startling. Her first instinct was always to keep things light and make a sarcastic remark because of their previous relationship but as she studied the Time Lord, she sensed this was a different kind of moment. She held his gaze for a long moment before letting another small smile come to her face, "Good . . . because I missed you too."

He returned her smile before she began to rise and stretch.

"I think I'm about done for the night. I'm sure you'll have us running for our lives tomorrow so I better rest up."

His smile diminished slightly, "Martha?"

She paused her retreat as she noticed his more subdued demeanor, "Doctor, what is it?"

He reached out and took one of her hands in his, "There's something else."

His look and more serious tone caused her to become anxious and she allowed him to guide her back to the sofa they had been sharing.

"OK. Shoot."

He took a moment to just stare at her. There was so much he wanted to say especially after his earlier musings. But he was so bad at things like this, he as sure he would muck it up. Besides, she had only been back a day. Any overly grand gestures or words might just send her running for the hills again. So instead he decided to keep things simple, saying something he sincerely felt in his hearts. "Thank you."

Martha was steeling herself for some profound statement . . . something ominous. So when all he said was thank you she wasn't sure how to react. She did let out the breath she had been holding and finally said, "What for?"

"For giving this another chance. I know it took a lot for you to take that leap again . . . I just want you to know I am grateful."

Martha eased into a smile as she covered their still joined hands with her other one, "You and I have been through so much. It would take something pretty major for me to not forgive you or cut you out of my life. We've both made mistakes. Let's just start from here, not take each other for granted and see what happens."

His own smile returned, "Oh, I do like you, Martha Jones."

She gave him a wink, "Now unless you plan on carrying me on our next outing, I seriously need to get some rest."

He watched as she rose again and then joined her. The pair shared one more smile and a lingering hug.

"Sleep well," he whispered softly near her ear.

Her smile brightened and she sighed, "I will."

The Doctor watched Martha go with his own content smile unwavering. He sat back down once she left and leaned back into the sofa. While his eyes appeared transfixed on the still playing movie, his mind was firmly planted on the woman who had just left his presence. She went from being a passenger, to a companion, to one of his best friends, to . . . well he still wasn't sure what else but he was surer now than ever before that it was something more. Her absence those few days showed him just how much more she meant to him. It hurt not having her there but more so because he knew she could walk away and never return.

The Doctor recognized that Martha as very capable of picking up the pieces and moving on without him. She'd done it before. That thought gave him pause and also made him more determined than ever to make sure she never considered that option again. He sighed as he rose again and turned off the movie. He would be whatever she needed him to be for now but when he felt like she was ready for more, he would do his very best to convince her to stay by his side for a good long time.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks again for all the comments and interest. I appreciate it very much. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 13 . . .

A month and a half later the Doctor and Martha had settled into their new arrangement quite well. Their focus went from being so concerned with trying to "make things work" as a couple to doing the things they did best, helping others and finding trouble. And as Martha had envisioned when she made the request, the relationship stuff took care of itself when they stopped concentrating so much on it. They had both become more considerate of the other's feelings and perspectives on the situations they found themselves in. He still often took the lead but also sought her counsel in tenuous situations and for her part, Martha wasn't so quick to react negatively when he deterred her or didn't take her advice. It was simple things like these that showed the progress both had made since their break.

They were truly Smith and Jones again, taking the universe as it came. Then one day while visiting another planet, a moment strife and vulnerability crystallized the shift in their relationship that had been slowly building. The duo found themselves, once more, caught in the middle of a crisis. The peace talks that the Doctor himself had brokered between two factions on a planet called Zorn had begun to hopelessly break down. On the one side were the native beings, Zoens, who appeared to be oversized gerbils and on the other side a bird like race, the Capsions, who migrated there centuries ago. The sides had been battling it in recent years over the dwindling resources of the planet and how they should be distributed.

There had been rumors of impending war when Martha and the Doctor stumbled upon the planet. The pair instantly sought out the powers that be and the Doctor did his thing, eventually bringing both groups to the peace table. He convinced both ambassadors that he could negotiate a fair deal for each side. Now as Martha sat beside the Doctor looking at representatives from both sides, it looked as though all his efforts would be for not. Each side was finding reasons to dismiss the Doctor's compromise, believing the other side was gaining more than they were. Members of each of the committees were now shouting at each other across the table and others were threatening to leave the proceedings all together.

The Doctor looked as baffled as she's ever seen him as he tried to intervene and get everyone focused again. He had started to rub his eyes and running his hands through his hair in frustration when Martha reached out and touched his elbow. She could see that he was becoming as irritated as the participants and knew that would not help anyone. Her touch was meant to both calm him and get his attention on something other than the fracas before them. His eyes found hers and she gave a tight smile of reassurance and then gently made a request, "Mind if I have a go at it?"

His expression betrayed his surprise at her appeal. Not that he didn't think she could handle it, but with the intensity within the room at the moment, he was unsure if anything would get these two sides to agree. The Doctor held his companions gaze for beat longer seeming to briefly hesitate before giving her a small nod of assent. He then turned his attention back to the feuding mass and whistled quite loudly to regain their focus. Once all eyes were on him he began again, "Now if we're quite done demonstrating what doesn't work, my compatriot has something to say and I think we'd all be wise to hear her out." He then turned back to her and gave her a wink and then the floor, "Martha."

Martha rose from her seat and looked over the surly but silent crowd before beginning.

"Do you really believe that war is the answer? Because I can assure you it's not. I've been there, right in the middle of one and it is not something you want threaten or enter into lightly. Just take a moment and imagine with me a planet torn asunder by war and destruction. People being cut down right before your eyes, famine and sickness remaining for those who happen to survive. Losing hope and wanting to give in just to make it stop . . ."

She paused briefly as her voice caught slightly. The group including the Doctor appeared riveted by her words as well as the emotions behind them. They all watched and listened to her intently.

Martha took a moment to regain her composure, taking a deep breath and steeling herself to continue, "War leads to nothing good. It just doesn't. It just destroys and strips away everything that is good and true. Is that the legacy you want to leave your kids and grandkids . . . memories of death and ruin? Of reliving over and over the devastation that you could have prevented by simply sitting down here and talking things out? Every day of my life I have to deal with that very thing . . . remembering and reliving something so tragic . . . so pointless. I would not wish that experience on anyone."

The young doctor paused again, this time to allow all at the table to really consider her words. She looked each being sitting at the table in their eyes before persuasively closing, "I know sometimes it's hard to bend and give a little but what you can gain is often so much more than you lose. So the question before you now is would you doom yourself and future generations to the kind of life where in the long run everyone loses? Or will you be an example and find a better way?"

She looked around the table one more time and then retook her seat without another word. She stole a glance at her companion. He was staring straight ahead, as though deep in thought. Martha was unsure what to make of it at the time but eventually returned her attention back to the group who seemed to be seriously contemplating her words.

Finally each of the delegations began to chat amongst themselves, occasionally taking peeks at each other and also at Martha. She was becoming a bit self-conscious because she was unsure how these beings would react to her words but also to the fact that she as a woman had spoken them. She always found this part of time and space travel most revealing. No matter where they went in the universe some semblance of patriarchy almost always had hold. Women were to be seen and rarely heard. Yet at the moment what was troubling her most was that the Doctor had yet to say anything to her. Had she overstepped her bounds with him as well? She glanced over at him again but his focus remained intently on the still chatting parties. Martha sighed inwardly and retuned her attention to the room. It was at that moment that one of the Zoens rose.

She recognized him as the head ambassador and his gaze instantly fell on her first. Then in the most magnanimous voice he could seem to muster he addressed her, "Ms. Jones, your words have moved me, my fellows and I believe others here as well. You are right. We must think not only how this will affect us now but later on. I, for one, do not want my legacy to be one in which bloodshed is the hallmark."

He then glanced across the table to the Capsions and earnestly said, "If you are willing, in good faith, to come to an equitable agreement, then you have my word we will do the same."

There was another round of murmurs amongst the other fraction before their ambassador also rose and spoke, "We are willing as well."

And with that statement by both sides, the talks resumed anew with each group coming together to eventually hammer out an agreement that staved off war. Once the agreement was signed, each of the dignitaries personally thanked both the Doctor and Martha for their efforts. The Doctor left her side to speak with a small group of both the Zoens and Capsions and Martha moved about smiling and nodding to more thanks when she was stopped by the head ambassadors from both sides. They each shook her hand before the Zoen ambassador spoke first, "Ms. Jones, I just want to thank you again for sharing your words with us."

She gave him a genuine smile, "I'm just glad it helped."

Both of the beings nodded before the other ambassador apprehensively questioned, "And if you don't mind me asking, what is the disposition of your world now?"

"It's recovered, almost as if it never happened but there are still those who remember and do all they can to make sure it never happens again," she firmly replied.

The small contingent shared a little more small talk before the Doctor appeared at her side and quietly mentioned it being time to move on. She nodded at his continued subdued demeanor and they said their final good byes before finally taking their leave.

* * *

Martha was a bit on edge when they arrived back in the TARDIS. The Doctor had not said much since her speech and she began to wonder why. He was usually the one to make grand speeches that got others to see the light and she was beginning to think she may have stepped on his toes in that regard. She walked up the ramp ahead of him and took a seat on the captain's chair where she silently watched her companion begin his little dance around the console. Once they were settled back into the time vortex, Martha allowed the quiet to persist a bit longer before she finally breeched it with an innocent question, "Are you alright?"

He appeared to snap out of his trance and looked from the console to her with a raised brow, "Hmm . . . yeah, I was just thinking?"

She probed, "Do you want to share?"

He remained silent but moved to join her on the seat. His eyes remained firmly on her as he then gently took her hands into his own and looked at her intently, "That speech you gave . . . you were talking about the year."

It wasn't a question but Martha replied anyway, "Yeah."

"Those were your experiences."

She nodded, "Yes."

His hands were now tenderly caressing hers, "You went through so much . . . Live with those memories every day and never complained, never gave in . . . How could you . . . how could I ask that of you?"

Martha gave his hands a slight squeeze and attempted to lighten the moment a bit, "Someone had to do it and bedsides I was the closest one to you."

The Doctor didn't bite, though, and remained just a sober as the moment before, "No. That wasn't it. It was because I knew you would succeed."

His words and the seriousness behind his tone caused her to flush slightly and turn from his steady gaze.

"Sometimes I wasn't so sure."

He lifted one of his hands from hers and used a finger to turn her face back towards him as he firmly responded, "I knew."

Martha slightly shuddered at his assertion but at the same time appreciated his faith. She gave him a modest smile in response. The Doctor returned it as his thumb joined the finger on her chin and tenderly trailed across it as he genuinely said, "Thank you, Martha Jones."

Her smile became more brilliant. Though he had said as much right before she walked away after the year,_ ("Martha Jones, you saved the world."_) it felt good to hear him again utter words of gratitude for what she had done. Yes it had to be done but knowing it wasn't in vain helped to ease those memories some. But before she could earnestly reply, he repeated the refrain a bit softer, "Thank you."

And then again, each time becoming quieter and moving in closer. Martha held his gaze and tracked his movement until their noses nearly touched. Then with one last, barely audible word of thanks he turned his head slightly and completed his trek with his lips upon hers. It was in fact the first intimate moment they had shared in months. Between all the trips and running and world saving, romance moved to the back burner. It had made things less tense but Martha would have been lying if she said she hadn't missed the intimacy they had begun to build.

Yes, it was her choice to slow things down but she had missed this all the same. His lips gently caressing hers was about the most amazing thing she's ever experienced. She could never take that feeling for granted after having craved it for so long. So as he moved to deepen the exchange, she responded in kind, melting into the kiss and the warmth of his embrace. His hands deliberately made their way up her arms and eventually came to rest on her face. The motion that had months before caused her to recoil now urged her closer. Her hands too found their way north trailing steadily up his chest before her fingers curled possessively around the lapel of his brown with blue pinstripes suit jacket pulling him closer to her.

The Doctor was more than a little pleased by her response. For weeks he had been missing this part of their previous relationship but he also wanted to respect her wish to focus on their friendship first. It was odd for him, feeling such a visceral need to feel physically close to her yet since the day she stepped back on the TARDIS, he had been looking forward to the day . . . the moment when they would be right here again. And after her words to the beings on Zoen, he just knew this was that moment. She had been so passionate as she spoke about a part of herself that even he was not completely privy to. It had, as the ambassador mentioned, moved him as well. He needed to show her how much he appreciated the sacrifice she made in his name.

As their spontaneous exchange achingly came to an end, the Doctor allowed his slender fingers to continue to gently caress her face as she quietly caught her breath. Her eyes remained closed and her head resting firmly against his for a lingering moment. When she finally opened her soulful brown eyes, they immediately met his own and it was in that instance, gazing into each other's eyes . . . each other's souls, they both knew that things had definitely changed. This feeling was in no way one sided. She needed and wanted him and he finally acknowledged his similar desire for her. Martha eventually gave him a warm smile and quietly replied, "You're welcome."

He returned her smile and the pair once again got lost in their passionate exchange.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks for the continued interest.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 14 . . .

"I can't believe you?" Martha faintly chuckled as she led them back into their ship.

The Doctor replied with mock incredulity as he stepped in behind her and closed the door, "What? I just mentioned the natives might want to consider adding a bit of baking soda to the public litter box in the center of their town. You have to admit the smell was a bit much."

"It wasn't a litter box, though. It was their communal grounds. You better than anyone should know how tetchy people, or cats, can get about sacred grounds," she playfully scolded.

He smirked, "Alright, maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

Martha raised a brow, "Maybe? They were about to send you to a kennel for people. What am I going to do with you?"

He reached for and pulled her into his embrace and gave her a cheeky grin, "Oh, you know you love me."

The second the words passed his lips, Martha mentally stiffened. Even as things between them took on a more intimate demeanor, neither had come close to uttering that word to the other. Love was something she had always felt for the Doctor, Martha knew, but not ever something she thought he would feel for her. Their very first kiss on the moon had done her in and since then, even when appearing to move on, it always remained in the back of her mind.

Now, for the briefest of moments, she wasn't sure how to take him speaking about emotions she'd always had. She knew he was aware of her fondness of him and lately she had been getting the same vibe from him but love was never explicitly expressed. Then she stopped herself. Maybe, like that kiss on the moon, she was over thinking things. The last thing she wanted was to ruin the progress they had again made by reading too much into the comment. For all she knew it was just a slip of the tongue and he was already regretting it.

The pair had become closer again after their interlude on the TARDIS following their adventure on Zoen. In the month since that moment, their relationship had taken a decidedly more intimate nature. There was more hand holding and tender kisses, more lingering gazes and intimate touches but love had not been mentioned not even in joking until this instant. She tried to run it through her mind quickly all the meanings it could entail. It felt good to hear it even if she was still unsure what it meant but Martha eventually decided that without knowing for sure she would not dwell on it. With the levity of their conversation prior, she resolved not to read too much into his choice of words.

Refocusing on the moment, she returned his smile and flippantly retorted, "The verdict's still out on that, Mister."

"Oi," he returned with a teasing pout on his lips.

Her smile brighten as she felt her earlier tension dissipate and seductively she answered, "Stop it, you."

She then leaned in and pressed her lips gently to his.

The Doctor immediately responded to her initiation, pulling her closer and savoring the feel of her soft lips against his. As he languidly returned her affection, his mind was going a thousand miles a minute. Her hesitation at his last words had not gone undetected by him. He had said it in a joking way as a chance to feel her out. He knew there was a time when Martha had loved him very much and without condition but after everything that they had gone through in their travels and after she left, a part of him wasn't so sure about that anymore. Love, he had observed over the years for humans, was fleeting at best. Right now things between them felt good and right but what if this was all she had to give now? What if her love for him was not as strong as it once been?

Martha had given away nothing during their verbal exchange. She had learned from him to play her cards close to her chest. He, on the other hand, was feeling things he hadn't in such a long time and showing them like he never had. The truth was he was becoming more and more attached to her and it was all such a rush and he was unsure how to precede really, another first for him. He didn't want to push too much, too fast and scare her off but he also didn't want to do too little and have her think he was becoming indifferent again.

Then in the moment that his mate began to withdrawal from the exchange an idea came to him that, if he did say so himself, was brilliant and might be just the thing they both needed to finally vocalize the changes that have taken place in their relationship. As she rested her forehead against his and caught her breath, he quietly asked, "What would you say to us taking a break?"

Martha pulled back from him slightly, "Didn't we already do that?"

"Not together. I was thinking more like a vacation with the two of us," he returned.

She gave him a bemused smile, "Really? A proper holiday?"

He nodded and smiled at her, "Don't sound so skeptical."

"I'm sorry but you on vacation . . . you know that requires relaxing, right?" she teased.

"I'll have you know I can relax with the best of them."

Her smile broadened, "This I gotta see."

He gave her another quick peck on her nose, "Good and I happen to have a place in mind . . . if you're up for it?"

Martha was instantly intrigued, "Up for what?"

His smile now matched hers, "It's a surprise."

She slowly released him, "Well, at least tell me what I should pack?"

His took her hand and lead her towards the corridor, "Some of everything."

She looked at him completely perplexed now.

"Just trust me, bring something for every season."

He then sent her off to her room while he turned his attention to the console monitor and began putting in coordinates for a trip he hoped neither of them would ever forget.

* * *

Martha stepped from the TARDIS and gasped. She stood on a lush beach of pink sand staring up at a lilac purple sky with her mouth slightly agape. The Doctor joined her and softly whispered in her ear, breaking her reverie, "What do you think?"

She tore her eyes away from the breathtaking view and turned to him and said, "It's amazing."

He gave her deep smile, "And it's only the beginning."

After making sure the TARDIS was secure, hand in hand the pair made the short trek up the beach to the hotel the Doctor had booked them in. Again, Martha was left in awe as they walked up to the palatial building. The massive hotel seemed to encompass the beach as far as the eye could see. It was called the Four Seasons and put its Earth namesakes to shame. From the Romanesque columns, to the glass wall that allowed the sun to shine into the lobby and the two doormen that greeted them at the doors, she was astonished at the opulence. Martha just stood staring at it and the masses of beings happily enjoying coming and going from it until she felt the Doctor's hand in the small of her back.

"Come on then," he quietly directed as he guided her through the open doors.

Inside, was no less decadent. There were lavish fountains and plant life all around as well as overstuffed chairs and tables throughout its lobby. The duo made their way to the large mahogany front desk and the pale blue, octopus human hybrid behind it. The being greeted them cheerfully, "Welcome to the Four Seasons on the gorgeous planet of Mali. My name is Baston. How may I help you today?"

"Well, Baston, I'm the Doctor and this is Martha. We have a reservation under Smith-Jones," the Time Lord gleefully replied.

Baston quickly pulled up the info on the screen and smiled at the pair, "A yeah . . . have you right here. The deluxe suite."

Martha looked to her companion, "Deluxe?"

His smile grew, "Oh yes."

She returned his glow as the clerk passed them the key and called for a bag handler. The pair followed another blue being towards a bank of glass elevators which they boarded and were whisked to their floor like a shot. Martha barely had time to catch her breath from the ride before it was taken again as the pair arrived at their suite. The young Malian took the key and opened the door for the couple.

Inside, Martha was again stunned into silence. The deluxe suite was above and beyond anything she had ever experienced. It was more like a luxurious condo than a hotel room. They stepped into a marble foyer framed by tropical plants which lead into a living room featuring more marble flooring and two large sitting chairs and one oversized sofa. Her eyes trailed from the lavish furnishings to the stunning ocean views through a set of double doors that lead to a furnished balcony.

"Oh my God," she quietly exclaimed.

The bellboy, not registering the awe in her statement, asked, "Is there something wrong?"

The Doctor reassured him as he pulled some currency from his suit pocket and handed it to him, "Not at all. I think she's just a bit overwhelmed."

The being nodded and his smile brightened when he noticed the amount he was given, "Very good, Sir. And if you, either of you, need anything at all just let the front desk know."

"Thanks."

Once the young native had taken his leave, the Doctor noticed that Martha had made a detour from her earlier path towards the balcony. She had taken the short two steps up to a set of French doors that opened up to the master bedroom. In the center of the massive space was a four post king sized bed and off to the side a cozy sitting area stood between the sleeping area and another balcony. It was here that Martha now stood, having already opened the door and stepped out into the warm ocean breeze.

The Doctor joined her on the balcony and took in the panoramic view of the ocean and beach as well. The pair stood in a contented silence for a bit before Martha finally, softly spoke again, almost to herself, "This is . . ."

"Amazing, brilliant, breathtaking, fantastic . . ." the Doctor finished jovially.

"Too much," Martha replied as she turned her gaze from the fabulous views and looked directly at her mate. He returned her stare and noticed the look of surprise etched there. Martha wasn't sure what she had been expecting but this was definitely not it. It was exotic and lavish and not something the Doctor would normally do, at least not in her experiences with him. Now here she was on a paradise world with him and it was all just a bit much to take in.

The Doctor smiled softly at her reservations. He knew she would probably react to the extravagance of his choice but the uncertainty etched on her face was not the emotion he was expected. He tried to soothe the concerns she seemed to have about the situation.

"Well . . . vacations are supposed to be about indulgence, right? We deserve a proper holiday and this is it. Pure relaxation and fun."

Martha shook her head, "Yeah but . . . all of this?"

The Doctor took her hands in his and looked into her eyes thoughtfully.

"Why not? We spend all of our time racing all over the universe, righting wrongs and helping others. Sometimes even the good guys need a respite, yeah? So no buts. The universe can make do without us for a bit."

Those words from his lips shocked her even more than the setting they were now sharing. This man who was usually all about traveling and justice now stood before her declaring the universe would have to make due for a while. She glanced down at their joined hands and then back into his eyes. Things had definitely changed for them.

"OK."

They shared a smile and he continued, "Good. So what would you like to do first?"

"I don't know. What kind of activities do they have here?"

His smile brightened as he began to lead her back into the room they would share. Once back in the living room, the Doctor went to a small table and picked up a brochure.

"Well . . . you remember back on the TARDIS when I told you to bring something for every season? That was because this whole place is set up to mimic the different seasons, which means depending on which area you chose there are activities to match that season."

Martha looked dubious, "How's that work?"

He handed her the brochure as he continued to explain, "For instance, we came in on the beach and we could water ski or snorkel there but on the other side of the hotel there is a winter wonderland, if you will, where we could ski, or take a sleigh ride. To the east is autumn and the west is spring where we could take a stroll through an open air botanical garden or have a picnic in a park. Pretty much anything you can imagine doing in a certain season they will accommodate."

Martha tore her eyes away from the paper in her hand and smiled up him with more enthusiasm, "Really?"

He nodded while returning her excited smile, "So what's it going to be, Martha Jones?"

She remained quiet and appeared to be seriously contemplating. She raised a finger to her lips and tapped it a few times before her smile grew and she finally replied, "I want to do it all."

His smile rivaled hers as he responded, "A woman after my own hearts."

Martha tossed the brochure aside and moved in closer to him. She placed her hand tenderly against his cheek and looked him deeply in the eyes before earnestly saying, "This is so incredible. Thank you."

He turned his face and placed a small kiss on her palm and replied, "It's my pleasure." 


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry for the delay on this one but I had a hard time getting it to where I wanted it. Anyway, I'll let you all be the judge. Feedback is always appreciated and thanks, as always, to those taking the time to read it.**

Chapter 15 . . .

Martha again found herself standing on the bedroom balcony gazing out at that magnificent view only this time it was by moonlight and her smile was blazing just as magnificently.

_She and the Doctor had spent the rest of their first day getting the lay of the land as it were. They visited the different "seasons" the hotel offered and began plotting out what they could squeeze into their time there. They began by touring autumn. From the crisp cool air to the turning and shedding leaves, it was authentic as any earth season Martha had ever experienced. They pair walked around for a bit taking in the sights but the Doctor eventually convinced her to join him in a corn maze. Naturally, they went on to get turned around and lost in it. The Doctor refused to admit that he didn't know which way was out and so the pair went around in circles for a bit before, Martha finally took the lead and led them through the corn rows themselves, eventually leading them out. The Doctor accused her of cheating but she shushed him with the threat of telling everyone he couldn't find his way out a "simple" corn maze. _

_The pair then moved on to spring where they took a pleasant stroll through a botanical garden. The atmosphere and aromas were exotic as were the blooms and wildlife they came across. As they encountered what looked like a bird/butterfly hybrid with brilliant multicolor wings flying low, Martha was once again left in awe of what the universe had to offer. The Doctor slid his hand into hers as she gazed all around. He would never get tired of seeing that look of wonder on her face. She glanced down at their clasped hands and then back up into his eyes and gave him a heart melting smile that he easily returned. _

_After a quick trip back to their room for warmer attire, the pair decided to end their first day in winter doing something Martha had not done since she was a child. On a sparsely occupied snow bank, she and the Doctor were putting the finishing touches on a couple of snow men . . . well actually two snow doctors. Martha added a stethoscope from the Doctor's pocket to hers in lieu of a scarf before standing back and admiring her handiwork. Meanwhile, the Doctor was still fussing over getting the tie and extra pair of glasses he had on his snow being just right. Martha took a quick picture of her creation with her phone before smirking at her distracted partner._

_Slyly, she knelt down and packed some snow into a solid ball. Then peeking over to make sure he was still occupied, she rose quickly, wound up and threw, hitting him square in the side of the face. The Doctor was momentarily stunned before he turned to find his companion grinning triumphantly at him._

"_Sorry. I couldn't resist," she innocently stated._

_His shock soon morphed into impish smirk of his own as he began to move towards her, "Couldn't control yourself then?" _

_Martha's smile grew as she pretended to back away, "You were just such an easy target." _

"_I see. So it was my fault?" he retorted as he closed the gap between them. _

_She backed up again, this time bumping into her creation. This provided the Doctor the opportunity to pin her between him and it. The pair was now face to face, both smiling broadly._

"_Now, Ms. Jones . . ."_

"_Doctor."_

"_What?"_

"_Dr. Jones," she smartly corrected._

_His smile brightened, "I'm sorry. Dr. Jones, what are we going to do about this assault on my person?"_

_With her hands resting on his chest half-heartedly keeping him at bay, she cheekily responded, "Well, you could just pardon me . . ." _

_She then paused and used his lapel to draw him closer while raising her eyebrow suggestively, "Or we could think of something else."_

_The Doctor delighted in the closeness as well as the banter. His hands trekked their way up her arms and the two stayed that way for a bit. He finally regained his voice and quietly replied, "Or . . . I could do this."_

_He leaned in as though he were about to kiss her but as Martha began to close her eyes in anticipation of the contact, she was jolted from the moment by the feel of cold sliding down her collar. She yelped in surprise and began dancing about trying to remove the icy intrusion. The Doctor quickly stepped back and laughed at both her shocked expression and twisting movements. _

"_I cannot believe you just did that," she managed with mock outrage._

_He continued to watch and smile as she tried to shake the snow he had swiped off her snowperson from her coat and top, "You know what they say about payback."_

_Martha narrowed her eyes with a glint of playfulness remaining and declared, "You realize this means war." _

_His smirk grew, "Bring it on." _

_Martha quickly grabbed some more snow and threw together a less than solid ball this time around. When she attempted to heave it his way, the powder blew all around them and both laughed as the companions mini snow fight commenced. The duo hooted and dodged until they got within arm's length of each other again. Each tried to hold the other's last volley at bay but in the struggle they lost their footing and fell into the snow. _

_Martha wound up on top of him and between their laughs, they caught each other in a meaningful gaze. The Doctor appeared to be studying her intently and she him. _

"_Had enough?" she softly offered. His eyes remained firmly planted on her as one of his hands found its way to winter kissed face._

"_Not just yet." He then used that hand to guide her down towards him. Martha easily followed his lead and the pair was soon locked in another tender embrace. Their lips danced gently together for a brief but intense moment and when they finally came up for air both were again glowing. _

She was brought back to the present by the feel of his hands massaging her shoulders. Her smile brightened as he quietly inquired, "Penny for your thoughts."

"I guess since you sprang for this place, a penny will do," she returned.

He softly chuckled.

"I was just thinking about what a great day this has been. Maybe the best day I've had in a long while."

He quietly mulled over that comment before using her shoulders to turn her gently towards him, "You know what? Me too. Sometimes it's good to just get away."

He then tenderly pulled her into a warm hug. Martha relaxed into the contact and sighed contently. After their snow adventure, they had returned to their room to shed their damp clothing and decide on dinner. They ended up ordering room service and having a nice cozy meal in their room. Now as they both stood enrobed in the fluffy white dressing gown provided by the hotel in the warm of the summer evening, neither had felt more at ease.

"We should probably settle in if we plan to do more exploring tomorrow," she softly commented.

The Doctor gave her one last squeeze before sliding his hands across her back and finally down her arms. He then clasped one of his hands with hers, "Alright then."

The couple then slowly made their way back into the room. Martha broke free of his grasp and slid into the massive bed. The Doctor soon followed and they both turned on their sides, staring silently into each other's eyes. They remained this way for a long moment before Martha dreamily broke their trance, "This kind of reminds me of the first time we shared a bed, back in 1599."

He quirked his eyebrow in reply, "I think this place is closer to five star."

"I don't mean that. I'm talking about sharing the bed, staring into each other's eyes . . . you killing the mood by being oblivious," she offered with a slight smirk.

He opened his mouth to object but quickly closed it when he recognized some truth in her statement. Back then and even now he had a tendency to miss the obvious but he also knew that he was never as unaware as he often appeared, especially when it came to Martha.

"That feels like ages ago but even then I knew you were something special," he quietly returned.

Martha allowed her surprise at that comment to show.

"Really?"

He nodded while reaching out a hand placing it lightly on her cheek, "Really. When you looked into my eyes that night, I knew . . ."

He tenderly traced his thumb across her jaw and cheek causing a faint smile to play across Martha's face as she absorbed his touch.

"Knew what?"

"I knew that you we someone I needed in my life. It took me a while to admit it to myself but now I couldn't imagine it any other way."

Martha's smile brightened at that admission as she began to gravitate closer to him, "Better late than never."

His own smile grew as he joined her gradual progress closer together, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she faintly replied as she and the Doctor were now nose to nose. The pair paused and thoughtfully gazed at each other before completing their connection.

Their kiss began as so many others before, as a tender caress of lips, conveying affection and warmth. It had taken them years to get here, comfortable enough to share their affections, and both wanted to savor the moment so long in the making. Martha's tiny hand found its way to his chest and slowly began its trail upwards and the Doctor responded in kind, his hand sliding from her face down to caress her lithe neck. Simultaneously, both were flooded with memories of time and opportunity lost. Martha's mind flashed to all the times she felt like he almost saw her but held himself back either because of ghosts of the past or something else. Meanwhile the Doctor thought of all the times he had purposely and inadvertently pushed her away when all he really wanted to do was hold onto her with all of his might. Each found themselves now wanting to repel those memories, replacing them with the here and now. And so their embrace became a bit more intimate.

Martha slightly parted her lips and allowed the Doctor deeper access. Their tongue, tentatively at first, touched and teased, fanning the flame that had been building over their entire relationship. Martha felt his hands leave her neck and glide purposefully over her shoulder and eventually down to her curvaceous frame, gently pulling her closer to himself. She, in turn, slid her hand along his neck and into his unruly hair, intensifying their kiss. The pair soon shifted, with her lying back on the bed and he partially covering her with his upper body.

The Doctor's kiss had begun to move slowly from her lips to her jaw line and neck area while his hands began to impatiently fumble with the belt on her gown. Martha, for her part, was lost in the sensations his hold and ardor was evoking. She inhaled sharply as his lips expertly caressed the sensitive skin just behind her ear. And as she felt his hands finally find their way inside her robe and begin to massage her frame, she felt unable and unwilling to stop what she knew might come next. She prepared herself to let whatever might happen next happen and worry about consequences later. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on who was asking, fate stepped in and abruptly returned discretion.

As the Doctor expertly trailed his kisses back to her lips, both were startled by her ringing mobile. It was as though some sensual fog had been lifted. The pair flinched at the sudden intrusion and shrank back from each other like two teenagers caught by their parents. They caught each other's gaze briefly before Martha maneuvered further out his hold and grabbed the incessant contraption from the nightstand. She glanced down at the ID and smirked, "It's my mum. Perfect timing, as usual."

The Doctor was still in a bit of a daze by what had been going on. He watched her studying her phone with a strained look and tried to assess whether her comment was one of sarcasm or of relief. She glanced back at him, briefly and the Doctor raised a brow, "Are you going to answer that?"

Martha took note of his clipped statement. Was he frustrated that they were interrupted or was this the makings of those famous walls all over again?

Smartly she replied, "Do you want me to?"

He was briefly stunned at the question. Did he really want her to? He ran the thought quickly through his mind. He felt they were on the precipice of something he wasn't sure either of them were ready for. Martha eyed him expectantly as the phone continued to chirp. So instead of going further down that road, he dodged answering it directly, "If you don't she'll think something's wrong and probably send the Judoon to track me down."

Martha gave him a light smirk and sighed, recognizing his dodge. She sensed that a moment had been lost that might not be recaptured. In his eyes she could already see a retreat from what nearly happened. Her thumb, which had been hovering over the accept button since she picked it up, finally pressed it and she placed the device to her ear without reply.

"Mum."

The Doctor watched her for a moment longer as she listened to her mother's end of the conversation and then responded, "Nothing's wrong. I was just . . . just in the middle of something."

The Time Lord took that as his cue to give her some space. He slid off of the bed and found his way back in to the living area. Once there, he focused on not listening in on her conversation and also on what almost happened. He and Martha both had gotten swept up in the moment and nearly . . . The Doctor began to pace and run his fingers through his hair. The memories of her body pressed against his, her lips and hands, caused him to flush. In his head, he knew him, a Time Lord, acting like . . . like a hormone driven bloke was not him. He made it a goal to never allow his emotions to rule him. What was she doing to him? And why was he not overly bothered by his lack of control?

He stole another glance at her as he passed by the doorway. She caught his gaze as she continued to listen to her mother and gave him a small smile. The Doctor returned the gesture before retreating back into his thoughts. He wasn't sure how far he or Martha would have gone but now that the moment had been broken, he convinced himself the interruption was a blessing in disguise. Things were still too new for them to rush into something more involved. His biggest concern then was making Martha see this without her thinking he eventually wouldn't want more.

His thoughts were cut short when he heard her begin to wrap up her call.

"Yeah, Mum, I promise to call soon . . . I love you too . . . bye."

She clicked her phone off and immediately found herself in the sights of a watchful Doctor. He was leaning against the door frame studying her once more. He finally inquired, "Everything alright?"

Martha rolled her eyes and shook her head, "Just mum being mum."

A lingering silence between the pair ensued. Throughout her entire conversation with her mother, Martha's mind was firmly on the Doctor. It wasn't lost on her that his demeanor appeared to change once the phone began to ring. She felt the emotional withdrawal almost instantly. It had always unnerved how his moods could shift abruptly. The phone call seemed the perfect foil for a day that had gone so well. Martha knew she would drive herself crazy wondering if this was the beginning backtracking for them. So instead of letting the doubt fester, as in the past, she chose to be proactive.

In a lighthearted manner, she attempted to recapture the relaxed mood of earlier, "So are you going to stand there the rest of the night?"

A small smile crept across his face at her mimicking his comment back in 1599.

"That depends . . ."

Martha raised a brow, "On?"

His smile grew, "Whether or not you still snore."

Martha gaped at his response momentarily before grabbing a nearby pillow and throwing it at him. She laughed as the Doctor easily dodged it and then ambled back over to the bed. Once he rejoined her on it, the couple shared a prolonged gaze. Both were tentative because of what had been going on before Francine called but looking into the other's eyes seemed to extinguish the momentary anxiety that had befallen them both. No words were exchanged but somehow a message was communicated between them that allowed them to relax together once more.

The duo shared soft smiles before Doctor opened his arms and Martha easily moved into them. He placed a small kiss on her forehead before tucking her head under his chin and settling them both back onto the bed.

"Good night, Martha," he said, softly.

Martha smiled contently, placing her hand on his chest and snuggling in closer to him, "Night, Doctor."


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry it's been awhile but I've been trying to figure out how to get to where I want with this story. I hope you'll hang in with me as some more drama is coming starting with the next chapter. Also the lyrics to When You Love Someone by Bryan Adams are in here because I really love it and I think it fits this pair as I have written them. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 16 . . .

Exhilarating. That was the best superlative either could use to describe the day. As they glided carefree above the lush planet, gazing down at all its majesty, both the Doctor and Martha were lost in the reverie of their first full day on the pleasure planet. They had begun the day on the pink sands of the beach with a few other earlier risers, snorkeling. The clear waters concealed some of the most amazing and exotic wildlife Martha had ever seen.

From the translucent fish, in which you could see the inner workings of the animal, to the flourishing reefs alive with numerous alien plant life, Martha was again left in awe. The Doctor reveled, as always, in her wonder and was more than happy to be her guide through the underwater world. After they searched much of the depths, the duo briefly returned to land for a late breakfast and changed into some hiking gear. The pair then took a leisurely walk through a forested area that culminated in a trip up to a nearby cliff. What Martha didn't know until they reached the top was that the Doctor had an ulterior motive for the journey. At the top of the ridge was a clearing with the promised bird's eye view of the terrain but also, surprisingly, a hang gliding station.

Martha's eyes widen with recognition as the Doctor grinned his usual manic grin and made his way over to guy in charge of the place. As she took in the entire scene, the Doctor quickly made his arrangements and rejoined her as she stood near the edge looking down at the landscape.

"So, Martha Jones . . . up for another adventure?" he softly inquired.

She tore her gaze away from the view and looked at him seriously, "Lord knows I have done some outrageous things since I've known you, challenging Daleks and walking around the world to name a few but the chances of you getting me out on one of those things is close to none."

The Doctor was surprised at her firm refusal but would not be easily dissuaded. "Listen to yourself, you would fling yourself in front of a Dalek or laugh in the Master's face but not go for a relaxing ride with me? That does not sound like the Martha Jones I know."

Martha was unmoved, "Diving off a cliff with nothing holding me up but a piece of fabric does not sound relaxing in the least. Besides, I'm no novice at something like this. The first time I did it was the last time."

"I sense a story there. What happened?"

"Let's just say I prefer keeping my feet planted on terra firma unless traveling via the time vortex. No chance of being dragged away by an updraft that way."

The Doctor could sense her uneasiness and moved to relieve some of it, "We'll go up together and I promise you, I'm very good at this."

"Doctor . . ." she began, still resisting giving in.

He, though, grasped onto the slight waver in her tone. With a reassuring smile, he frankly enquired, "Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do but . . ."

"No buts. Trust me now . . . this is something you don't want to miss."

She narrowed her gaze at him momentarily before allowing a small smile of her own to creep across her face, "Alright . . . but if you can't land this thing any better than the TARDIS you're toast mister."

He grasped her hand and offered a cheeky grin before leading her towards the station.

After the duo got some cursory instructions, the Doctor maneuvered them off the cliff into the clear purple yonder. The initial leap found Martha with her eyes firmly closed. The Doctor caught a glimpse of her, "Martha, open your eyes and look. It's amazing."

After a beat, she did as he requested and was rewarded one of the most breathtaking views ever. The planet was even more amazing from the air. The colors melded together in a vibrant mosaic that enraptured her. As he expertly glided them around in the sky, the Doctor's smile grew as he was once again pleased at her reactions. He pointed out a few things and Martha eventually relaxed into the new activity.

When the twosome eventually returned to the ground and shed their equipment, Martha clasped both of his hands in hers and looked into his smiling eyes, "Thank you for coaxing me into going out. It was so worth it."

His smile grew, "Anytime."

* * *

"Martha, they won't hold our reservation forever. Can you light a fire please?"

The Doctor now stood in the living area of their suite adjusting his tie while calling out to his mate who was still in the bathroom. After their hang gliding adventure, they got into a minor disagreement about what to do next. The Doctor had his adrenaline pumping now and wanted to do more adventuring while Martha was ready for a bit of relaxation. They finally compromised, the Doctor going off to find something 'exciting' to do while Martha chose to take advantage of the hotel spa. Once both had gotten their fill, they reconnected and decided on an early dinner, which they would officially be late for in ten minutes.

Huffily, she called back, "I'm coming. Geesh, can't a woman get dolled up for her first proper date?"

He Doctor promptly retorted, "This is hardly a first date. What about New York?"

"That wasn't a date so much as you attempting to entice me back into the TARDIS," she offered as she finally made her way into the living room.

The Doctor was about to protest her assessment when he caught sight of her and was struck silent. Martha Jones stood before him, as stunning as ever, fiddling with her diamond crusted butterfly earrings with a playful smile on her lips. She was enrobed in a strapless maroon velvet dress that hugged her body in all the proper places with matching strappy heels. Her hair was piled atop her head with a few tendrils framing her face and the ensemble was completed with a simple silver necklace with a butterfly pendant.

Martha noticed him gaping at her and asked, "What?"

Her word seemed to stir him from his stupor, "Nothing. I just . . . Your so . . ."

"Is it too much? I thought you said upscale."

"No. Yes . . . I mean yeah it's posh and no it's not too much." He paused briefly as if trying to find the right words before finally concluding, "You just look bloody stunning."

Martha's eyes widen at his candid remark. She wasn't expecting it nor his reaction when she stepped into the room. His eyes were firmly on her and hadn't budged yet. Martha found herself feeling a bit uptight in his steady gaze. She was still getting used to him looking at her in that way. Not that she needed him to validate how attractive she was. She garnered enough attention before and since him to recognize that. Yet to have the one guy she never thought would seriously give her a second glance now standing before her slack jawed was enthralling and unnerving all at the same time. Martha eventually attempted to alleviate some of her unease by cracking a joke as she stepped down and joined him.

"Well, don't act so astonished. I usually clean up pretty good."

He locked her in a warm gaze and replied, "I'm not astonished just more appreciative."

Martha's smile blossomed, "Well in that case, I appreciate the appreciation."

His look remained stoic as he gently cupped her face in his hands and tenderly stroked her soft skin with his thumbs. "I really do, you know. I admire you, Martha Jones. Beautiful, intelligent, brave and compassionate . . ."

"Yep, that's me, the total package," she softly quipped with a slight blush.

"Everything a clever man could want," he quietly mused.

Martha sensed a sadness behind his words and wondered if he was thinking of past regrets. She had her own but was also tired of looking back. It never amounted to much good in her estimation. After taking the time to reflect on her time with the Doctor, Martha decided to leave it as a lessoned learned and move forward. What happened then was done. She just wanted to enjoy the now and the progress they had made, so she tenderly cut short his remorse. She placed her hands flat on his chest and then trailed them up to his collar before softly saying, "Thank goodness you're a genius, then."

His smile matched hers now, "That I am."

* * *

Dinner was lighthearted and easygoing. They chatted about nothing in particular, shared a fabulous meal and laughed heartily. The evening had been as relaxed as any they had ever spent together and that was why Martha felt comfortable enough to ask something of him she never would have before. As the waiter left the check, she got a playful glint in her eyes as she leaned into the table and motioned for him to do the same. He immediately noticed the mischief behind her actions and did as she indicated. Once they were sitting across from each other in a conspiratorial fashion, Martha candidly inquired, "Do you trust me?"

He raised a brow but just as frankly replied, "With my life. More than once."

She smiled at his retort, "Then let's pay the check and get out of here."

The Doctor had to admit he was intrigued by his companion's sudden assertiveness. So he promptly shelled out the currency for their meal and allowed her to take his hand and lead him out of the restaurant and out onto the entertainment district of the hotel. They strolled past numerous fellow travellers who were doing everything from karaoke to playing games. As they passed all of these activities, the Doctor began to wonder what his mate had in mind. He was just about to stop her and ask when she came to a sudden stop herself. She turned back to him and smiled impishly before guiding his eyes towards their destination with her own.

The couple stood just outside of a lively dance club. The music was loud and fast paced and people poured in and out before them. Martha looked back to her bemused partner once more and smiled gleefully, "Come on you."

* * *

'_When you love someone, you'll do anything_

_You'll do all those crazy things that you can't explain_

_You'll shoot the moon, put out the sun_

_When you love someone . . .'_

He again allowed her to tug him by the hands into the crush. They managed to squeeze their way through to the bar, which was nearly wall to wall people as well. Martha was already beginning to move to the infectious beats. The Doctor, however, stood impervious to either the alluring rhythm or the swaying companion at his side. Martha noticed his ridged demeanor and moved closer to him and talked above the din, "Is it really that bad?"

He looked down at her, "No, it's actually quite interesting."

"Interesting enough to give it a go?" Martha retorted as she began to inch her way towards the action. The Doctor, though, remained rooted to his spot even as she held on to his hand and tried to urge him out with her.

"Think I'll sit this one out," came his succinct reply.

Martha gave him a playful pout, "Come on, Doctor. I risked life and limb earlier today for you. Are you really going to bail on me now?"

The Doctor was clearly not compelled by her logic, "Sorry, this just isn't my sort of thing."

"I can't believe this . . . all powerful Time Lord scared stiff by clubbing," she taunted.

"Nice try, Dr. Jones, but reverse psychology doesn't work on all powerful Time Lords."

Martha playfully rolled her eyes and sighed in frustration, "Fine. Be a stick in the mud."

'_You'll deny the truth, believe a lie_

_There'll be times when you believe that you could really fly_

_But your lonely nights have just begun_

_When you love someone . . .'_

The Doctor watched, seemingly, unconcerned as she began to move to the music once more, and slowly further and further away from him. Even when she was instantly surrounded by a pair of handsome, spry blokes on the dance floor he only raised a brow. Martha gestured for him one last time to join her on the floor but he remained planted near the bar and so she gave him a small shrug before she placed her sights on one of the two men dancing with her and got lost in the music.

In reality, he was keenly interested. He took the opportunity to observe his vibrant partner while musing on their ever changing relationship. He still wasn't quite sure what he was feeling, or at least was unwilling to admit it yet. Seeing Martha light up the way she was out on the dance floor touched him like little else of late but he was still reluctant to read too much into these sensations. After all he was, if nothing else, logical and logically speaking he knew getting too involved with anything or anyone let alone a human, who's life span was but a blip in his universe, was illogical. Yet he could not deny that he had indeed become closer to her. He enjoyed having her at his side and knowing she was there.

She had chosen him over all the things and people she could have had in this universe, putting aside a promising career as a doctor and bypassing having a "normal" human life to travel the stars with him. Martha Jones was indeed the total package. What was there not to love? He paused his thoughts at that word and began to turn it over in his mind. Love. Did he love her or just what she represented? He did have a deep affection for her and when she was away he felt despondent but was that only because he was lonely in general or because he didn't want to be without her specifically?

He had to admit, if only to himself, that when he learned about her two failed engagements he had to admit he felt a twinge of something like relief. Though he wanted her happy, the idea of some other guy holding her attention unsettled him. It wasn't like he didn't know she was attractive and had also often garnered the attention of other men even in their travels together.

Shakespeare was so smitten that he wrote one of his most famous poems about her. Then there was Riley from the Pentallon. It was obvious that chap was taken with the young doctor and for a bit the Doctor thought the feeling was mutual. Martha, though, had never truly returned any of the attention because of her feelings for him. A part of him enjoyed the knowledge that he had her interest but he was also well aware there might come a time when some other guy might just snatch that devotion away.

'_When you love someone, you feel it deep inside_

_And nothing else will ever change your mind_

_When you want someone_

_When you need someone_

_When you love someone . . .'_

His eyes studied the youngster now dancing closely with her and could see the potential. Martha's eyes had yet to leave him and he was basking in her glow as the pair moved expertly to the non- stop beat. They had more in common than he and Martha ever would and, in theory, he could give her things he never could. Was it fair for him to expect her not to want and have those things at some point? Could he make up for the things he couldn't give with the one's he could?

The Doctor continued to ponder until he noticed the guy dancing with her beginning to take a few more liberties. The man's hands were freely exploring her curves before firmly enveloping her petite frame fully while Martha, not seeming to mind in the least, continued to gyrate in his hold with her back to him. The Doctor was briefly struck by a twinge of something but quickly pushed it aside. He recalled Jack's words about caveman antics and knew going over like the jealous boyfriend would not fly. Not that he was in fact jealous. That was a human emotion and a rubbish one at that. He just felt he should be the one at her side. After all they were on a date.

So craftily, he began to make his way between the swirling masses. His trek concluded moments later next to the oblivious duo. He firmly tapped the gentleman on his shoulder garnering his attention. The doctor then conveyed, with a few whispered words and a pointed look, that it was time for the bloke to push off. The other man appeared to want to protest but when he got a full view of the Time Lord's disposition he promptly relinquish his spot behind the still dancing beauty. It wasn't until Martha felt her partner's hands suddenly pull away that she turned to find, to her surprise and delight, the Doctor smirking down at her.

'_When you love someone, you'll sacrifice_

_Give it everything you got and you won't think twice_

_You'll risk it all, no matter what may come_

_When you love someone . . .'_

"What happened to Ricky?" she asked while slowing her motion somewhat.

"Oh, he needed a break."

Martha smirked this time, "Right."

The Doctor studied her a moment and asked, "Disappointed?"

"Not at all but I thought this wasn't 'your type of thing'," she returned.

"Funny that, it seems someone keeps getting me to change the types of things I do."

Martha playfully replied, "Must be someone pretty amazing then."

He smiled, "Oh yes. She is definitely that."

"She, huh? Well I might like to meet the woman who has you changing things up," she bantered back as she took his hands and planted them on her hips as a slower tune began to come up.

The Doctor didn't resist the action and took the opportunity to pull her closer as he retorted, "I think we can arrange that."

Martha's smile grew at his actions which prompted her to ring her arms around his neck and rest her head against his chest. Tenderly, the two then proceeded to move together, letting the noise and crowd fade from their consciousness. As she listened to the steady beats of his hearts, Martha could not relinquish her smile. She knew he would probably never admit it but she knew he'd shooed Ricky off and it touched her. He was out on the floor with her now, saying more with that gesture than any words ever could. She'd take it every day.

'_You'll shoot the moon, put out the sun_

_When you love someone.' _

* * *

Later that evening, the couple leisurely found their way back to their room. Neither had said much since they'd left the club, instead choosing to stroll in companionable silence. Upon reaching their suite hand in hand, Martha paused in front of the door and placed her attention squarely on her partner and finally broke the quiet.

"You never cease to amaze me," she eventually offered.

He gave her a thoughtful smile, "Well . . ."

Martha remained even as her gaze remained steady, "I mean it. This has all been so much more than I expected."

The Doctor's smile waned some as realization struck him again. All the times he had marginalized her and made her feel as though what she needed or wanted didn't matter was etched in her eyes and her words. He gently released her hands and brought his up to frame her face.

Then in his most sincere tone, he softly stated, "I know I have been thick in the past but you, Martha Jones, deserve this and so much more."

A small smile finally played across her lips, "I'd settle for more moments like this."

"You should never have to settle," was his final husky reply before he leaned in and initiated a tender kiss.

Martha instantly returned the ardor behind the caress, snaking her arms around his slender frame and pulling him closer. Every time their lips connected she felt herself losing more and more of her reservations about what this was becoming. He kissed her not as a man in lust but a man captivated and it sent something delicious through her each time. As they clearly forgot about still being in the hallway, the couple easily got lost in their intimate embrace. Their reverie, however, was again cut short by a familiar sound. Martha groaned against his mouth before reluctantly pulling back slightly and sighing.

"God . . . it's like she knows," she offered with slight frustration as she plunged a hand into her small clutch.

The Doctor chuckled softly but didn't reply as she retrieved her phone. A quick glance at the id had her sighing again while rolling her eyes, "Yeah, Jack. By the way . . . worst timing ever."

The Doctor raised a brow at the surprise caller but when he observed Martha's face begin to cloud over as the conversation continued he mouthed at her but she only held up a finger to hold him.

"And you have no idea what it is?" she answered.

She now looked back to her concerned mate and motioned with her head towards the door as she replied to something else Jack said, "Yeah, he's right here with me. Give us a minute."

The Doctor had obediently opened the door and ushered her inside before following and closing the door. Martha promptly hit the speaker button and said, "Alright, Jack, you're on speaker phone. What's going on?"

The American, uncharacteristically, dived right into his reasons for calling without any innuendo or joking.

"To be honest we have no clue only that it is affecting every child on earth."

The Doctor incredulously asked, "What exactly is going on with the children?"

Jack sighed, "It's like they're being shut off and on by something, if that makes any sense."

Martha watched as the Doctor began to run all sorts of scenarios through his head. So she decided to give him a moment and question their friend further.

"Jack, when did this start?"

"This morning around 8:40a.m. London time. Do you think that is important," he retorted.

The question seemed to snap out of his contemplation, "It could be. What else is going on?"

"It's a long story, Doctor. One better told in person. Needless to say, the government is bound to muck it up. I've got Gwen, Ianto, and Mickey monitoring things right now but we could use your expertise . . . both of you. So will you come?"

The Doctor and Martha exchanged looks before he responded, "We're on our way."

"Thanks."

The trio disconnected after quick good byes.

Martha gave him a subdued smile, "Holiday's over, then?"

He returned the gesture while reaching for one of her hands and giving it a light squeeze, "Looks like it. Sorry."

"No need. This is what we do, right?"

His trademark, grin appeared as he exuberantly replied, "Oh yes!"

A few minutes later, the duo had their meager possessions gathered, checked out and were heading back towards the TARDIS. What neither was aware of, as they hurried to their transport, was that what they were walking into would forever change them and their relationship.

* * *

**Another quick note: I'm will be referencing Children of Earth, with changes but won't be rehashing the whole ordeal just the aftermath and how it affects Martha and the Doctor.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Here's where the drama comes in. I tweaked the Children of Earth storyline to fit my needs. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 17 . . .

"So are we sure this is going to work?" Jack asked the Time Lord as he frantically tinkered with the newly created device in the center of the cavernous warehouse they were now using as a home base in order to protect the Torchwood hub from detection. The Doctor briefly paused his actions and looked to his immortal mate with a mildly affronted stare before bluntly replying, "Who's the alien expert in this outfit?"

Jack gave a faint smirk, "Right . . . so how soon can we get it online then?"

"Patience, Captain, patience," was his short reply as he went back to the device, turning his sonic screwdriver on it.

Jack tried to keep the anxiety out of his tone as he retorted, "Tell that to hostile aliens trying to take our kids."

The Doctor snorted slightly as he finally turned and made his way back towards Jack and the jerry rigged computer station they had set up, "You know, you lot could have avoided all of this if you hadn't so easily given in the first time."

Jack rolled his eyes not because he thought the Doctor was wrong but because they had already rowed about this topic.

Upon arriving, the Doctor had demanded to know everything the Torchwood team knew about the phenomenon, which wasn't much initially. They did bring he and Martha up to speed about the government's involvement with the aliens including the part which made Torchwood public enemies, forcing them to go underground, and also the covering up of what was really going on in public. It, though, wasn't until Gwen, later on, relayed her interview with the only adult affected that the full extent of the collusion came to light.

Jack, having heard the man's story, recalled and shared his earlier involvement as a solider. His tale hadn't gone over well with anyone, especially the Time Lord. The Doctor really chastised the captain but worse than that, for Jack, was his stringent disappointment that he was involved in giving children to some unknown alien force. Martha, as usual, stepped in as the voice of calm.

On some level, she could sympathize with Jack's position. She had been part of a military outfit before and knew when you were given an order there was little room for debate. She briefly recalled her mission during the whole stolen earth mess when she had been under orders to end the world if all else failed. Whether or not she could have followed through, she still wasn't sure but in her conscious mind, and she was sure in Jack's as well, she believed it was not something either took lightly. Martha managed to get both men refocused on the task at hand by pointing out that this time they had the chance to stop it but only if they worked together.

The group, soon after, began to formulate a battle plan. The Doctor, as usual, wanted to chat with the aliens, to try and convince them to leave peacefully. So after he and Jack slipped inside Thames, using his sonic, the Doctor craftily triggered the fire alarm to clear the building and allow them unobstructed access to the visitors. The duo entered the room that housed the holding tank that had been built for the alien and the Doctor promptly attempted to reason with it. The Doctor tried repeatedly to convince it to go and leave the earth in peace but, as he anticipated, they were met with aggression. The alien proceeded to douse the entire building with an alien virus. The Doctor had already figured out who they really were and had predicted such a move which was why he nicked the idea of anyone but Jack joining him on this particular mission.

The virus was lethal to humans but the Doctor's biology purged it with no ill effects. He, though, was furious with both their refusal to leave and the attempted gassing. The Time Lord made it clear as Jack lay at his feet, there would be no second chance, which is how the Doctor, Jack and Mickey eventually ended up in their temporary hub concocting a device that could turn the signal the aliens were broadcasting through the children back on them. In the meanwhile, Martha, Gwen, her husband and Ianto went to try and warn his family about the government's plan to pay off the visitors with some of the "less desirable" children.

Jack couldn't resist responding to his last comment, "Yeah, unless the 456 decided to blow the whole planet into oblivion because of our refusal."

"Oh, don't call them that. I told you who they really are, the Doclan, or as I like to think of them, the bullies of the cosmos. They are tantamount to gangs here on your planet, bogarting whatever they can, whenever they can. Just like any other bully, when you stand up to them they usually back down," he fired back.

"Can you two save the lovers' spat for after we nail these creeps? I can't concentrate with all this bickering," Mickey finally chimed in.

Jack shook his head, knowing they would continue to go around in circles about this issue if he didn't bow out. They needed to focus.

"Mickey's right, as long as we can stop them, whoever they are, and keep them from coming back let's just focus on that."

The Doctor nodded curtly before taking over the keyboard of the computer Jack was monitoring and typing in some intricate formula. Jack then took a moment to look between the Time Lord who worked with a flourish and the techy at his side calibrating the newly minted device. As bad as the situation was, and it was bad, he couldn't help but smile, knowing he had the best people in the world to handle this crisis on his side, not to mention a genius alien. He was feeling more and more confident this would be resolved with a lot less bloodshed thanks to the Doctor's intervention. The ex-time agents reverie, unfortunately, was short lived as the small group was startled by a piercing voice amplified from outside.

"Captain Jack Harkness, we know you're in there. It would be in your best interest to come out without a struggle."

The trio of friends exchanged meaningful gazes and Jack said, "Looks like they found us. How close are you two?"

"I need a few more minutes before I can activate it," the Doctor replied with his eyes and hands already flying over the computer screen and keys again.

"Same here. We're at least five minutes away," Mickey added.

Jack sighed, "I'll see what I can do."

He slowly made his way over to the door and opened it a crack just to see what they were facing. His quick peek turned into a disheartening sight, as much to his surprise and chagrin, his eyes fell upon about ten fully armed soldiers flanking a severe looking woman who was holding a gun on none other than Martha Jones.

"Shit!" he spat.

The Doctor and Mickey jerked up from their work at his exclamation. "What is it? Did they send the whole army?" asked the briefly distracted Time Lord.

Jack turned back to his friends and attempted to assess his options. He knew if he told them about the scene before him both the Doctor and Mickey would want to go and help Martha but if they didn't get that machine going, they were all screwed. So he quickly decided on a course of action he hoped would buy them all some more time.

"Look, guys, I'm going to go out and stall them but you need to hurry, alright?"

"Don't be daft man! We're almost done then this will all be moot," Mickey retorted.

Jack shook his head, "Just worry about sending that signal. I'll be fine. It's not like they can kill me."

Though in his head, he thought _but Martha was another story_. Before the Doctor could add a further objection, Jack opened the door further and slowly began to make his way out.

The woman smiled triumphantly, "That's good, Captain. Now raise your hands above your head and slowly move this way."

Jack raised his hands but remained planted, "Only after you set her free."

The woman shook her head and cocked her gun while placing it in Martha's back.

"I don't think you have any leverage in this situation."

"It's me you want. Just let her go and I'll come peacefully."

Martha stood watching the drama unfold silently. She could not believe she had ended up in this predicament at all. One minute she was helping Gwen and Ianto round up his sister and family as well as a few more neighborhood kids, the next she was tussling with armed soldiers bound and determined to snatch those very kids away. Under severe protest from her mates, she had joined Ianto's sister's husband in trying to create a distraction so that the others could get the children to safety. She figured she'd be less recognizable than either Gwen or Ianto and could buy them some time. So after assuring them she could handle herself, she sent the others ahead with the kids while helping to alert the other adults in the neighborhood about what the military was really doing.

Unfortunately, Martha had come face to face with Agent Johnson in the struggle and realized they had met during her time with UNIT. Martha had been tagged as a known associate of Jack that instant and like a flurry she was hustled into a jeep, threatened with harm to her family if she didn't cooperate and finally presented as bait for the captain. But now watching her friend negotiate his life for hers, despite knowing they couldn't kill him, Martha wasn't convinced this woman wouldn't kill her anyway once she got what she wanted.

"Jack, don't."

Her comment was met with a poke in the back from the pistol and a venomous hiss in her ear to pack it in.

Jack gave her his familiar grin and a wink as he tried to soothe, "Don't worry, Nightingale. This is almost over."

He then turned his sights back to her captor and lost his smile, "If you want me, let her go."

Martha shook her head again trying to deter him but was startled when the gun poked her again, "Start walking, slowly, Dr. Jones. Any funny business and I put a bullet in the both of you."

Martha reluctantly did as commanded and watched as Jack came her way. They had just made it even with each other when there was a blinding flash of light and a strong tremor that knocked everyone off their feet. Jack caught Martha as the pair tumbled. Their eyes met with excited surprise, both calculating the Doctor and Mickey had gotten their machine online.

Jack glanced over at the still disheveled troops and with a slight chuckle in his voice stated, "What do you say we get the hell out of here?"

"You'll get no arguments from me, Captain," she spunkily replied as he helped her to her feet.

The pair then quickly began to dash back towards the warehouse. They were just a few feet away from the door, where the Doctor had just come into view with his usual manic grin preparing to greet them, when a shot rang out. The Time Lord's smile evaporated as the petite MD, who moments before had been running towards him with a gleeful smile of her own, jerked forward after the sound. He looked, briefly over her shoulder to see Agent Johnson holding her gun aloft. His eyes returned to his companion just as quickly and he reached out and pulled her to himself before she could hit the ground. Jack brought up the rear forcing them both back into the building and blocking the door.

"Martha. Martha . . ." the Doctor chanted her name as he began feeling her weight press further into him. Jack, after having removed his hands from her back, recognized right away they had a big problem. His hands were covered in blood and with one look from his vantage point behind his friend he could see that the back of Martha's shirt was already soaked in blood.

His panic was evident as he looked between his hands and the door he knew would be teaming with soldiers any minute, "Doctor, we have to get out of here, now!"

The Doctor, though, was transfixed on Martha. She was still lucid at the moment but it was clear she was fading due to the loss of blood.

"Doc, snap out of it. We have to go."

When all the Time lord did was continue to hold tight to the wounded medic, staring at her intently, Jack did the only thing he could think to do. He removed his wounded friend from his other's grasp and began to carry her off, effectively snapping the Doctor out of his stupor.

They made their way quickly over to Mickey who was monitoring the device until he heard the trio reenter the building, "What happened?"

Jack ignored the question as he barked orders, "Mickey, make sure that thing is locked in and then head for the TARDIS."

Mickey now noticed Martha being carried by the American and asked with shock, "What the hell? What happened to Martha?"

Jack was already on the move again, "Just do as I say. Now!"

The concerned techy grudgingly did as instructed and was soon following after the small processional headed to the TARDIS sitting off in the corner. By this time, the Doctor had pulled out his key and ushered them all inside the space and time machine just as the soldiers made their way inside.

They could hear more gunfire but the ship was untouchable. Once inside, the Doctor's attention was right back on Martha. He took her from Jack's arms and lowered them both to the floor as he attempted to rouse her.

"Martha, I need you to open your eyes, OK? Please look at me."

She, with some effort, eventually honored his request and was rewarded with a tight smile from him.

Mickey and Jack were standing around the pair and again the Brit inquired, "Now is someone going to tell me what happened?"

While the Doctor attempted to assess the damage, Jack let out a small breath, "Damn military! Can't stand to lose. I should have known . . . I should have covered her."

The Doctor was barely listening to either of them as he gave Martha a once over as she labored to breath. His eyes roamed from her now open eyes to her frame searching out the bullet wound somewhere in her chest area, as that was where the blood stain was forming.

"Martha, you've been shot."

A pained smirk came to her lips, "Stating . . . obvious now."

He exhaled at her attempt at levity, "I know. Right. I'm sorry but I need you to tell me where. Where exactly does it hurt?"

"He . . . hear . . . " she breathlessly began. All three men's eyes widened at her labored assessment. The Doctor glanced up at his comrades' faces and noticed for the first time their shared concern. He then turned his attention back to her and anxiously asked, "Your heart?"

Instead of words this time, she feebly used one of her hands to reach up and touch her left side just above her heart. He and Jack shared another weary glance before the Doctor spoke again, "Alright, Martha Jones, this is just like that time we were back in the old west. You remember?"

She faintly nodded.

"Do you still trust me?"

Feebly, she replied, "With . . . my . . . life."

"Good. You're going to be fine, alright?"

Even as he said the words out loud, they felt false. There was no way for them to know what kind of damage had been done internally without moving her and she had already lost so much blood. For the first time in a long time he was racked by uncertainty about what to do next.

Her breath became more labored and Jack lowered himself to join his friends, reaching in to try and put pressure on the place she'd indicated. He then joined the Doctor in his reassurances, "You hear that, Nightingale, we're going to get you fixed right up. Just hang in there."

Her eyes began to flutter again and with another quiet gasp she rasped out, "Cold . . ."

The three men knew this was looking bad. She was going into shock. Decisions had to be made.

"We have to get her to a hospital, Doctor," Mickey finally offered by way of idea.

The Time Lord knew he was right. Though the last thing he wanted to do was leave her side, the Doctor recognized he was the only one able to pilot the ship somewhere to get her the kind of help she needed. He gazed down at the diminutive figure in his arms one last time, knowing he had to hurry as he listened to her breaths began to come in shorter gasps. So he gently readjusted her so that Jack could hold her and keep the pressure on the wound before going over and quickly starting the process for a short hop.

It wasn't until the coordinates were set that the Doctor realized his hands were shaking, partly because of what had happened but also because it was the first time he realized that her blood was on his hands and plastered to the front of his suit. He glanced back over at her still frame and knew this was going to get so much worse before, and if, it got better.

* * *

The Doctor's head was now throbbing with a real proper headache. He could feel both of his hearts beating in his head but it still could not drown out the memories of the past five days or their culmination. Everything was just wrong. Six days earlier he and Martha had been so content, enjoying a well-earned break and now here he stood in a Cardiff hospital with the Torchwood team waiting for word on whether the former UNIT medic would recover. How the hell did they end up here?

The Time Lord had been pacing the corridor while rubbing his temples with his eyes closed as Jack and his mates watched on. When Gwen and Ianto received Jack's call they joined them at the hospital. Gwen then proceeded to fill he, Jack and Mickey in on how Martha had been apprehended in the first place. No one was shocked that she went down fighting but the fact that she was shot after everything had all but been resolved was not sitting well with any of them.

The Doctor zoned out after that. In fact, it wasn't until Jack rose and called his name that the Doctor even acknowledged the other people around him again. He paused his pacing and looked to the immortal man, who nodded in the opposite direction. He turned to see a middle aged bearded man in a doctor's coat making his way towards them. Gwen, Ianto, and Mickey rose too and waited for the doctor to join them. Once the man was in range, the Doctor immediately began to pepper him with questions.

"How is she?"

The man inhaled deeply, "Her injury was severe. She lost a lot of blood . . . the bullet nicked a major artery."

Everyone's face paled as the Doctor asked the question hanging around them, "Is she . . . ?"

"No. But her blood pressure is still too low and she hasn't regained consciousness. We've managed to repair the damage and are monitoring her but we've done all we can do until, if, she comes to," he finished.

"So there's a chance she won't recover?" Mickey anxiously chimed in.

The doctor nodded, "A very real chance. As I said, her injury caused serious damage. If you hadn't gotten her here when you did, she probably wouldn't have made it to surgery."

The small group remained quiet for a long moment allowing the doctor's words and their implications to sink in. Jack finally broke the silent contemplation with a question, "Can we see her?"

The doctor looked at the mishmash of people before him and then back at the ex-time agent and asked, "Are any of you family?"

The Doctor inhaled sharply at the last word, "Family . . ." He paused and turned towards Jack, "I have to tell her family. They need to know."

Jack soothed his friend, "I'll contact the Joneses, alright?"

The Doctor halfheartedly protested, "I should. I need to face them sooner or later."

"You will . . . when they get here. But for now, I think Martha is the priority and I'm sure there is no one she would want at her side more than you."

Jack then turned back to the doctor and firmly replied to his enquiry, "Dr. Jones' family lives in London. We are her family here and would appreciate being able to be there for her."

The squirrely man seemed to contemplate momentarily before nodded, "Alright, but only one at a time and just for a bit."

Jack gave him a smile, "Thanks."

He then turned back to the Time Lord who seemed transfixed by the doorway the other doctor had retreated back into. He moved closer to him and quietly urged, "Go on. Martha needs her 'real' Doctor."

The Doctor glanced over at his old friend with a somber smile before slowly beginning to make his way through the swinging doors that lead into the A&E.

* * *

The Doctor paused outside her hospital room, steeling himself for what he would find. The doctor sounded so pessimistic and he knew the fact that she had yet to regain consciousness was not good. They wouldn't be able to evaluate her properly until she did . . . if she did. He sighed and tried to shake that thought off. Martha was a survivor.

Finally, he turned the knob and slowly made his way inside the dimly lit room. His gaze instantly fell on the fallen beauty and his hearts clenched at the sight. She lay still and placid and the Doctor was immediately struck by the fact that this was the first time ever that he had seen Martha seem so fragile. Even with his mention of the situation in the Wild West, he recalled she had still been fighting and even challenged the Clade that could heal her. Now though she was just so quiet and passive.

All that vibrant, curious life inhibited by something so human . . . so destructive. He now stood at the foot of her bed absently smoothing the already straightened blanket covering her. Martha Jones the woman who walked the world to save it. She dodged blood thirsty spheres and government goons then only to be brought low by a gun. It was rubbish. As his thoughts consumed him, he eventually drifted to her side and there he remained for a long moment gazing down at her.

So many thoughts were racing through his mind, which wasn't unusual, but what he was feeling at that moment was something he hadn't felt in such a long time. It was helplessness. He could see her lying before him, possibly slipping further and further way, but there was nothing he could do to fix it. That he couldn't make this better with all his "Time Lord abilities" unnerved him. But what made this situation so much worse than being unable to come up with a solution was the emotional sting of seeing her this way. What was troubling him most was that Martha was hurt and nothing he did or said could take it away.

Gently, he took one of her hands into his and held it. It was slightly cool but still soft to the touch. Without glancing away from her resting frame, The Doctor reached, with his free hand, to pull a nearby chair closer to her bedside. He easily took a seat next to her and proceeded to studying her for a long while. Her face never changed as his observations trailed from her closed eyes to her button nose to her slightly parted lips that housed a standard hospital ventilator. As his eyes roamed further they became fixated on the spot hours before she had pointed to as her injury sight. He knew beneath the flimsy hospital gown she had been cut open and operated on. He turned that thought over in his mind for a bit while his eyes became engrossed in the steady, rhythmic up and down movement of her chest aided by the machine. Right at this moment, he was aware that it was that surgery and this machine that were keeping her here. That, he realized, he couldn't accept. He needed to do something, find some way to be a part of what was holding her here. So as he continued to tenderly caress her hand, he quietly began to chat with her.

"I'm not quite sure how to handle this, Martha. I never have been actually. We both always knew this was a possibility . . . that something like this could happen. I lose companions . . . have lost them in so many ways but I'm not ready for this . . . not yet. We are supposed to be different, you and I. This was supposed to be different."

He paused and sat forward so that he was closer to her face and gently whispered, "I know you can hear me, Martha Jones. And this may sound selfish but I'm not ready to lose you yet. I need you to come back."

He paused once more and tenderly brought the hand he had been holding to his lips, placing a small, lingering kiss upon it before turning his head and resting his cheek against her hand as he softly concluded, "Please."


	18. Chapter 18

**I hope everyone had a happy holiday and thanks, as always, for the reviews and interest.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 18 . . .

This had to be a record for him. He could not recall another time when he sat in one place for so long. Yet it wasn't bothering him like it had in the past. He was sure it was because of the circumstances but also because just being near Martha, holding her hand like he had so many times before, gave him a bit of solace. As he sat tenderly caressing the hand that fit in his like glove from the first day, the Doctor let himself believe that by holding on to that hand he was keeping her anchored here. He sat in silence watching her steady breathing, trying to convince himself that as long as he stayed at her side she would hang on.

This was the moment Francine witnessed through the window in the door. As much as she demurred at the relationship between her daughter and the Doctor, she could not deny that the pair shared an obvious connection. Seeing him sitting at her side, studying her so intently impressed and scared her. It was always clear that Martha adored him but until this moment she was less convinced about his motivation. Now she had a decision to make. When she first received the call from Jack, her blood ran cold. It was her worst fear realized . . . her daughter's life in peril because of her association with the Doctor.

Her mind immediately began to race with various ways to make the Time Lord suffer, dismemberment making it the top of short list. Yet before she could begin a full blown rant to that effect, the captain explained how Martha had come to be in her current situation. Jack made it clear that Martha was harmed while trying to do something noble right here on earth. His explanation deflated her, somewhat. As afraid and upset as she was, she knew her fear and anger could not reasonably be leveled at the Time Lord alone this time. Besides, cursing the Doctor and throwing him out of the room on his arse might have given her brief consolation but in the end she knew it would not change the situation. Martha would still be in the hospital fighting for her life.

Observing him with her daughter now, Francine wasn't sure what she could or would say to him. He appeared equally as distraught as she herself felt and now just seemed the wrong time for an 'I told you so'. So she gave herself a few more moments to collect her thoughts and emotions before finally gathering her wits and turning the door knob.

The Doctor's eyes finally left his fallen mate when he heard the door click open. He knew who it would be and had been mentally preparing himself for this confrontation. Two sets of apprehensive brown eyes met across the room. The Doctor immediately began trying to read the older female as she silently studied him. He could guess that she was furious and loaded for bear. This was the thing she had always been warning Martha about and now here she was standing over her child clinging to life in a hospital. Francine, like him, appeared to have perfected her own poker face over the years because he was gaining no insight from her demeanor. Her facial expression was a blank mask and her stance, with arms folded over her chest, was tentative but beyond that he couldn't read her.

Sighing inwardly, The Doctor finally began to make moves toward the mother of his companion. He deliberately laid Martha's hand back on the bed and then slowly rose from his perch.

Fully expecting to be greeted with another slap or maybe even a right cross, The Doctor began his steady trek across the room to meet her. He knew he would take whatever she dished out because he felt as responsible as she probably thought he was. He silently berated himself for not keeping Martha by his side. She, though, had been adamant about being useful. One of the things he loved about her was her determination. Her sense of justice was nearly as powerful as his own and he knew despite his desire to keep her safe, he would never get her to betray that. He sighed again letting that thought slide away as he took the last steps that would finally bring him face to face with the impassive matriarch.

As the pair now stood at the foot of the bed that contained a woman they both cared about, silence continued to linger until the Doctor decided to break the stalemate. With a conciliatory demeanor, he softly began to speak, "Mrs. Jones . . . I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Don't." Francine raised a hand and firmly cut him off. The Doctor couldn't stop himself from flinching slightly at both her tone and action. The first flickers of fire from the intimidating mother shone in her eyes. Mrs. Jones, though, made no move of aggression towards him instead she continued to speak her first words since arriving with force and conviction, "Don't you dare give up on her. Martha is a fighter . . . she's a Jones' girl. She will pull through this. So I don't want to hear any apologies and I won't have anyone writing her off, got it?"

The Time Lord stood speechless realizing Francine was reading him way better than he was her. Not only did she not verbally or physically attack him as he expected but she read into his demeanor. He had been thinking about how he was going to reconcile possibly losing another companion he had begun to open his hearts to. A part of him was preparing for the inevitable good bye but Martha's mum gave him a mental shake. This wasn't about his anxiety or her disdain but about Martha and making sure she fought. She was still here and if they expected her to battle they needed to focus on that and not feeling sorry for themselves or placing blame.

He gave her a remorseful smile and quietly replied, "Loud and clear and quite right too."

Francine barely returned his somber beam, "Good."

She finally let her eyes trail to her youngest daughter. It became clear she was struggling to maintain her composure as her eyes now surveyed her child. He wanted to be comforting but he wasn't sure she would accept it from him and secondly, he wasn't very good at it. The Doctor decided on a third, admittedly more gutless, option.

"I'll give you time with her."

She glanced back at him momentarily. He could sense she was reading him again but instead of calling him on it this time Francine only nodded before stepping around him. The Doctor watched her making her way over to the space he had vacated. Once she took the seat next to Martha and grasped her hand as he had earlier, he finally removed his eyes from the scene and began his exit. Yet before he could turn the knob fully, Francine quietly called to him.

"Oh, Doctor?"

He paused and turned back to her now thinking he wasn't going to get away unscathed. Her look was again indecipherable but her words relieved him in spite of everything, "Would you please send Clive in? He's in the waiting room with the others."

The Doctor mentally exhaled at her request and nodded his assent. He then promptly stepped out of the room and leaned against the wall next to it. Exhaling a shaky breath, he began contemplating exactly how much more he could take. He was not accustomed hanging around for the aftermath of things. The Doctor rode in to save the day and then vanished just as quickly.

But this time things were different, he couldn't just run off, well he could. All he had to do was go back to his TARDIS and hurdle himself through time and space, running like he always did when things got complicated. Emotionally, though, he realized he had become too invested in the outcome. Being here now, experiencing the repercussions of one of his capers, was making the life he led a bit too real. He'd become used to casualties in all his years but this time he had to wonder, if the worst happened, if he would be able to move forward this time. After taking a few more minutes to gather himself, he warily headed into the waiting area to face even more reality.

Jack was the first to notice the clearly dazed Time Lord. He met his friend halfway between the door and the waiting area. The two friends shared a somber gaze.

"Hey, Doctor. How is she?" Jack tentatively asked.

"No change," was his clipped reply.

They were soon joined by Martha's father, to whom the Doctor immediately relayed Francine's message. Clive nodded and clasped him on the shoulder as he walked by. The Doctor's eyes roamed briefly over the now sparsely occupied room catching Jack's attention.

"I sent Gwen and Ianto off to check on their families and Mickey and Tish went down to the cafeteria for tea."

The Doctor nodded, thankful for the reprieve from more prying eyes as he was still attempting to assess everything that had happened. He moved to one of the empty chairs in the lounge which allowed Jack to study his forlorn friend intently for a long moment. He knew when his friend was in one of these moods he had to approach him cautiously but Jack couldn't help but sense that his friend was in need of an outlet. He eventually sauntered over to where the Time Lord sat deep in thought and towered over him expectantly. The Doctor, well aware of his mate's examination, finally glanced up at him and touchily asked, "What is it, Jack?"

The immortal man ignored his brisk tone, "So what about you? How are you handling things?"

It wasn't lost on Jack that the Doctor had been damn near catatonic since Martha was shot. He knew the pair had been getting closer but the look he observed on the Doctor's face as he held their fallen friend in his arms spoke of something deeper than even he was aware of. The Doctor, though, seemed to be unwilling to offer more insight as he looked at him like he was mad, "Me? Martha is the one we should be worried about."

"Of course we're all worried about her but it's clear this situation is affecting you as well," Jack retorted.

Like a flash, the Doctor was on his feet again, pacing as he snappily replied, "Obviously it's affecting me because it shouldn't have happened. I should have . . . I don't know, done something."

Jack shook his head and cut off his wandering, "Like what? Short of tying her to a chair, what could you have done to stop this, Doctor?"

"Something. I should have protected her, even if it meant her being upset with me," he weakly countered.

"You tried that, remember? It didn't go over so well. This is Martha we're talking about. There was no way you were going to keep her out of the fight and you know it," Jack returned.

The Doctor nodded, "Maybe but . . ."

Jack placed his hands on his friend's shoulders and forced him to look at him as he spoke again, "Come on, Doc. I know you're used to riding in and fixing things but this wasn't your fault. You take the whole world on your shoulders all the time but there are some things even you can't anticipate like overzealous government officials."

The Doctor closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. When he reopened them, his tone went from slight uncertainty to fiery conviction, "I take it on my shoulders because I'm the only one who can, Jack. When things go wrong I take on that burden because it is mine to bear. But Martha . . . this isn't her weight to carry. She shouldn't be here and she wouldn't be if it wasn't for her connection to me and that's something I have to deal with."

Jack could see the Doctor was really torturing himself over this situation and found himself wanting to be soothing.

"Doctor . . ."

The Time Lord, though, cut off any further discussion by stepping out of Jack's grasp and concluding, "I need some air."

And without another word, he turned and headed for the patient lounge on that floor.

Out on a surprisingly deserted balcony, the Doctor stood staring almost unblinkingly at the city. Cardiff was not as busy as London but there was still the usual bustle of evening traffic. As he stood gazing down at all those people, his thoughts centered on how oblivious they all were to anything but their own little, fleeting lives. It wasn't until something unimaginable forced them to leave their protective shells that they realized just how tiny their world really is. They would hold their little ones a bit closer for now but he knew it wouldn't be long before this too faded from their memories and they were back to their own insular existence.

Not once would they ever stop to consider what the price had been to regain that piece of mind. But the Doctor, he knew. He knew the sacrifices all too well but he hadn't planned on Martha being one of them. Now here he stood contemplating the reality that loss seemed to follow him like a specter. His melancholic meditation was interrupted by the sound of the door opening behind him. He briefly thought Jack might have followed him but when the other person didn't speak or move closer he figured it was just another visitor in need of air. He didn't even bother to turn around until a familiar voice startled him from his lonely trance.

"Do you know how much she adores you?" came the voice of Martha's older sister.

The Doctor quietly sighed. He knew exactly what Martha felt for him, even when she tried to hide it. It was in her eyes every time he looked there. He had constantly marveled at how it remained so even after all they had gone through together. While he got the sense her sister was after something deeper than just a response, he replied simply, "Yes."

Tish moved closer to the stoic figure and gently challenged, "Do you really?"

He finally turned his gaze from the landscape below to the striking young woman who resembled Martha in so many ways, including her tenacity. She stood staring at him intently while clasping her tea cup. He could appreciate her passion and where it derived from but here before him was the very reason he made it a point not to get overly involved with his companions. Domesticity in any form always included facing family members and their questions. He was used to being on his own, not having to answer to anyone, but when he got close, like with Rose or now with Martha, things always got so much more complicated.

He could sense what she wanted from him but because of who he was he was withholding it, pretending to maintain unaffected distance when in reality his own mind was spinning with numerous emotions. Tish, with her gaze unwavering, pushed forward when she recognized a response was not forthcoming.

"I knew. I knew the first day she introduced me to you that she was captivated. I had never seen her look at any guy the way she did you nor have I since."

She paused as though to let that comment sink in. The Doctor knew she was referring to her two failed engagements. That Martha had twice accepted proposals but in the end could not follow through with either had always brought a little skip to his hearts and hearing her sister all but confirm why made him warm inside even as he tried to appear unaffected at her words.

Tish gave it a second more before carrying on, "Whenever she called, she would always enthuse about you and the things you did together, though she would refuse to go in to details back then. I was just so happy she was finally doing something besides studying that I let her prattle on, never pressing for more. Then after everything with the Master and the year, when she decided to stay behind, I watched her carry on as if nothing had changed. She took care of us, went back to her studies and lived her life and whenever any of us ventured to bring up the subject of you, she never had a cross word to say. In fact, she would say that it was some of the most unforgettable time of her life."

She hesitated with a sad smile, "Even after everything, she would still beam when she spoke about you and that's when I knew just how much she fancied you. All those other times you popped in and out of her life since, it only got stronger even as she pretended to move forward, first with Tom and then Mickey. It wasn't until the last time that I witnessed a chink in that esteem. She returned home after the moving of the earth a more subdued person. She wouldn't talk about things anymore, which finally help push her and Tom over the edge."

As he watched Martha's conflicted sister sigh and move over to glance over the balcony, the Doctor recollected more of the conversation he had with Jack right after Martha had vanished to New York. The ex-Time agent relayed a similar accounting of the medic's downward spiral. Martha had thrown herself into freelancing with Jack for a bit, which is how she and Mickey hooked up, but in the end she even walked away from that. It all began to overwhelm her and she eventually withdrew into herself. The Doctor had always assumed her isolation was related to her nearly bring about the end of her world but her sister had one more revelation for the Time Lord.

Tish turned back to him and locked him in that steady gaze again as she resumed, "It wasn't until after things fell completely apart with Tom, that she finally opened up to me and confessed why she was so melancholy. She told me that she had watched you get back the one person in the universe you had wanted by your side. It was like she had been completely deflated by the realization that as much as she cared, always cared, about you she could never be what or who you needed her to be. Yet even as she accepted her feelings would never be returned, she refused to say a cross word about you. Instead, she talked of how happy she was you finally gotten what you wanted. You deserved it, she said, after all you had done for the universe."

The revelation, that despite everything, she held no real ill towards him hit him like a ton of bricks. Even after all the upheaval he had brought into her life, the dismissive behavior and the pining for another, her desire and hope was for him to have his heart's desire. That kind of compassion was rare and overwhelming to him but was not surprising, he realized, when thinking of Martha.

She believed in him as much as Rose ever did and looked out for him as fiercely as Donna had but what did she get in return? Not nearly as much as the aforementioned women. While he showered Rose with adoration and revered Donna as his best mate, Martha was left with the scraps. Yet her compassion and admiration remained unwavering. It was in that moment it became official . . . he felt like a proper cad. So many times she had fought and protected him, believing that it would never be more and now just when things had begun to change . . . He eventually found his voice again and pressed her this time, wanting her to ask the question he was sure was really on her mind.

"What exactly is it you're asking me, Tish?"

"Just this . . . my baby sister is lying in this hospital, barely hanging on to life and I need to know, for my peace of mind and hers, that it's not in vain. I need to know that the person she adores most, the person she has sacrificed so much for, feels just as strongly. So do you, Doctor? Do you feel that strongly about Martha or is she possibly lying on her deathbed believing in someone who will just as soon move on?"

Her passionate candor gave him momentary pause. Moving on was what he did but he too had been wrestling with whether or not he would be able to do that as easily as in the past. The Doctor knew Tish deserved an answer to her question but was still unsure he could give her the one she wanted. He and Martha were still in the process of becoming what they were going to be.

Finally, he opted for what he could say for sure. Looking into familiar brown eyes, he as earnestly as he could, replied, "Tish, I give you my word that Martha is not someone I would easily forget. How could I? She's brilliant and clever in so many ways. If I could trade places with her right now, I would. I would gladly give up the rest of my lives if it meant she could be standing here with you, her mum and dad."

He paused briefly and allowed his expression to grow more solemn before concluding, "But you also need to understand that I'm a Time Lord and unlike humans, my species does not emote in the same ways. What you're saying may sound like the most natural thing in the world for you but to me it's as alien as I am to you."

Tish narrowed her eyes at him, again reminding him of Martha, and quietly studied him for a long moment. Like her mother she remained unreadable until she coolly retorted, "Right."

She then turned on her heels and walked away from him without another word. As he watched her go, he sharply exhaled. He knew that tone all too well. She was unimpressed with his explanation and he couldn't say he blamed her. Her sister was possibly breathing her last and all he could muster was bland platitudes about her being a bright girl and wishing he could trade places.

He turned back towards the city and let his thoughts roam again. The truth was, whether because of his fraternization almost exclusively with humans of late or because of something deeper inside himself, he recognized and appreciated exactly where Tish's frustration emanated from. He was still battling within himself to come to terms with the emotions Martha was reawakening in him. The problem was, as much as he knew things had changed, he was still unprepared to reconcile the feelings he just implied to Tish he didn't have with the ones he had been experiencing since Martha came back into his life.


	19. Chapter 19

**Happy New Year all! I have to admit I struggled with how to portray this chapter and even now I'm not sure about it but I figured I would never get it posted if I didn't just do it. So here it is . . . Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 19 . . .

"_She adored you. She turned herself inside out for you . . . did anything you ever asked of her and lost herself all for you and look what it got her. . . it cost her a chance at a normal life, with a career, a family and joy."_

Those words from Francine Jones before Martha rejoined him coupled with Tish's observations earlier in the week echoed through the Doctor's mind. He was honest with Tish when he said he knew how much Martha adored him. He knew how much she sacrificed for him yet he also knew his acknowledgement and gratitude of that fact had been long in coming. The words of two people who knew Martha best stood as a testament to that realization as he sat perched in his usual spot at her side in the wee hours of the morning. The spry young medic had given so much of herself and gotten so little in return and because of who he was she would continue to get the short end of the stick. Was it fair to her? Could he really expect her to continue to settle for less than she deserved just to be with him?

Nearly a week had passed since she was brought in to the hospital and, from what he had gathered from her family, Martha's ordeal had turned into a big political circus. Family and friends made their rounds but it was government officials who had been parading in and out the most since she had been admitted. Members of UNIT and other high up government bureaucrats had all made numerous appearances mostly in an attempt, Francine ventured, to cover their own asses.

The Jones' were assured that UNIT would cover all of Martha's medical expenses while the interim ministers of government guaranteed them that those responsible, including Agent Johnson, would be dealt with severely. The Doctor was grateful that he had missed the spectacle by volunteering to spend the overnight hours with Martha. While he abhorred hostility, he wasn't convinced he would have been able to retrain himself when they began their façade of concern.

He turned his attention back to the present. Martha remained unconscious despite her vitals improving. The doctors couldn't really explain it. Her brain patterns were normal, her pupils responded to light but there was still no response to outside stimulus. They said that all they could do was wait for her to come to and that it might just be the body's way of protecting itself until it was completely healed from the trauma. The waiting was taking its toll on everyone. Martha's parents were, as expected, frazzled, her siblings were despondent and the Doctor felt like he was in limbo.

He closely examined her form and thought about how she was usually so vivacious and full of life. He yearned to have her energy, compassion, and joy back at full force. So much so that he contemplated doing something that he rarely did especially with a companion. Abruptly, he scooted his chair closer to her bed and rested one of his hands on the side of her face. He softly caressed the skin of her cheek before allowing his index and middle fingers to linger at her temple. He could easily push his way inside her mind and see what was keeping her from responding but visions of her disillusioned face after his stunt in Africa gave him pause. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel like he was taking liberties with her mind again, especially when she was in no immediate danger.

No. He would just wait it out for now and believe she would come around on her own sooner rather than later. Sighing inwardly, he gingerly moved his head closer to her, eventually resting it right next to hers on the pillow. Intently, the Time Lord studied her profile as he began a delicate trail with his fingertips from the spot just below her ear across her jawline and back.

Finally, softly, he spoke near her ear, "Martha, what's going on in that brilliant head of yours? What's preventing you from returning to us?"

He paused as if waiting for a reply and then continued on, "If you need a rest we could always go back to that resort. I was really starting to enjoy relaxing. It's rare for me to have a proper holiday but being there with you made it so easy to forget things for a time. I'd love to take you back and finish our break . . . all you have to do is open your eyes and say the word."

He hesitated once more, half-heartedly looking for any change at all but received nothing. He tried a different track.

"I was thinking about another trip we took shortly after being stranded in 1969, do you remember? The natives mistook you for their reincarnated goddess? Well . . . I have a confession to make. I wasn't completely unaware of the resemblance when I chose it. I just thought after Farmingham and 1969, you deserved to have some pampering."

He smiled at the memory of her being enrobed in a ceremonial gown, crowned with a wreath of white carnations and catered to for the duration of their stay. She was positively glowing.

"I was never as oblivious as I purported to be the first time we were together. I knew you'd had a rough time and I thought, in my own way, I could make up for some of that with that interlude. But what I have come to realize is that you never needed any grandiose gestures. All you wanted was for me to acknowledge who you are to me . . . someone very special."

The Doctor let out a small sigh as he quietly continued, "And now I'm scared that you are slipping away and I might not get the chance to tell you just how brilliant I really think you are or how much you have brought to my life since I've known you. Here I am supposedly the most clever being in the universe and I was too daft to tell the one person I could always say anything to how much she matters to me."

He paused once more and raised his head slightly to look down at her as he concluded, "You have to find the strength to fight through this. It has to come from you, Martha. You have to give me a chance to make up for constantly taking for granted that you'd always be there. You have to want to come back . . . I hope you do."

He then leaned in and allowed his nose to delicately brush against her cheek before he retook his previous position on her pillow. Slowly his eyes began to close, making sure a vision of her was the last thing he saw as he allowed his own exhaustion from having slept only sporadically since she had been admitted to the hospital to overcome him. Before he knew it, he had drifted off with his hand gently stroking the side of her face.

* * *

Martha was surrounded by all the people she cared about in the world. Her mum, dad, siblings, Jack and the Torchwood crew, the Doctor and even the effervescent Donna Noble stood with her in a peaceful valley overlooking a quiet lake. She could only glow when she looked out over the mish mash of people who had become her family. She felt like nothing could top this feeling and she wanted to hold onto it forever.

The group was enjoying a peaceful day of fun and relaxation, a rare event when they all got together. Her dad was manning the barbeque grill while she, Tish and Donna crushed Jack, Leo and the Doctor in a game of football. Her mum was keeping score and playfully taunting the guys, who declared before they began that they would pummel the girls. Martha could only laugh and shake her head as Jack began complaining that the guys were handicapped because of a love sick Time Lord throwing the game. The Doctor gave her a cheeky smile and wink before he turned to the immortal man in an attempt to look properly offended when the scene suddenly changed before her eyes.

Now she was being carried on a chaise through an open field just as twin suns were beginning to set. She was enrobed in beaded ceremonial gown that resembled an elaborate poncho and her head was crowned with fragrant flowers. She was looking around in wonder and awe at the breathtaking sunset and also the growing crowd that surrounded and followed her. The entire community, it seemed, had come out to pay homage to her. They believed she was their re-embodied goddess.

She eventually glanced around the crowd and spotted the Doctor immersed in the throng. With that familiar grin, he followed the processional. She couldn't help but return his glow as the parade reached its final destination. Martha was lowered before the masses onto a wooden platform and before she could react to her new surroundings the whole congregation bowed as one. They then exuberantly began to chant their goddess' name as they knelt before her. The young medic was overwhelmed and felt a little awkward, knowing she wasn't in actuality who they thought she was. She looked to the Doctor hoping he would intervene but much to her surprise he, like the natives, was offering tribute to her.

Soon after the veneration had died down, a grand feast commenced complete with a show. As she dined and watched the performances, Martha was reverently fanned by a couple of the natives. She soon noticed that some of the feathers from the fan were occasionally caressing her face. She tried to ignore the tickling sensation at first but eventually it became so distracting that she was about to ask them to stop when the entire scene suddenly vanished from her view. Again, Martha was left disoriented by the shift but, like a beacon in the haze, she heard that all too recognizable voice, faintly at first.

It was the Doctor talking softly. Initially, she could barely make out what he was saying but soon words began to come together cohesively for her. He seemed to be pleading for something. She caught bits and pieces. He was saying something about being scared, that she was slipping away, that she had to come back. Though she could not make out exactly where she was, she was convinced she hadn't moved from where he'd last seen her so whatever he was on about made no sense to her. Yet the gentleness of his tone with a trace of distress prompted her attempt to assure him that she was fine. But when Martha tried to speak out she found she could not. It was as if something was restricting her voice.

* * *

It took a few more moments and a couple of tries before she could finally gain a sense of herself as she really was. The first thing that hit her was a dull pain that shot through her chest each time she inhaled. The serenity of her earlier locations was now a distant memory. She then tried to lift her arms only to find they weren't immediately responsive. Her legs were next but also felt as if they were made of lead. Finally, she decided to try something she thought would be less arduous. Martha Jones concentrated on getting her eyes to open. Strangely, even this proved to be a difficult undertaking initially. She had to work at it for a bit before gradually being able to get one and then the other to obey. As her vision cleared, she began to take stock of her actual situation.

The first things she noticed were the stark whiteness of where she was, the scent of antiseptic, and finally the familiar sound of beeping. She closed her eyes again for a long moment searching her mind to place the clues she had gained. Her mind eventually registered that she was in a hospital room. Slowly, she reopened her eyes and attempted to glance around more astutely at her surroundings. She tried to move her head to see exactly what she was hooked up to but found her progress impeded by a ventilator attached to her mouth. She was so out of it she hadn't even registered the contraption until she tried to move.

Her first reaction to the intrusion was to attempt to remove it. Her arms, though, still refused to obey beyond a small twitch of her fingers. So she endeavored again to move her head, this time in the opposite direction, and found, much to her surprise, a slumbering Time Lord at her side. While she remained foggy about the when and how she had gotten here seeing him there told her that it must have been serious. Martha knew it was in the Doctor's nature to always be on the go but to see him petered out next to her in a hospital room, no less, illustrated that his concern for her situation overshadowed even his need to be active. It was a realization that heartened her.

In fact, if it weren't for the blasted ventilator lodged in her mouth, she would have smiled. The exertion of her awakening, however, seemed to overrule any further action at the moment. Her eyes began to droop again but before the soft beeping of the monitors and the Doctor's gentle breathing lulled her back into slumber, she sighed inwardly, secure in the knowledge that out of everywhere in the universe he could be, he chose to be right by her side.

* * *

About a half hour later, the Doctor awakened from his own nap a bit disoriented as well. Soon, though, he got his bearings and absentmindedly lifted his head from the pillow. It was rare that he fell into such a deep sleep but what was more unusual was that he had been dreaming. Typically, he didn't. Well they were not typical dreams at any rate. They were in actuality flashes of the things, people he knew and places he'd been but this was different in so many ways.

First, there were no threats to life and limb. He was standing in a lush plain under the most brilliant day. Second, he felt a complete sense of serenity. The whole scene just spoke of tranquility with gentle breezes and fluffy clouds in the sky. Third, and most important, Martha was right by his side. She smiled up at him, looking as energetic and beautiful as ever. It was uncommon for him to have such pleasant visions as he slept but not unwelcome he discovered.

Having a healthy Martha glowing at him offered him a sense of comfort he hadn't even been aware he needed. He returned her beam and for that fleeting moment, he felt as hopeful as he ever had. The moment though was soon lost when he attempted to engage her beyond mere presence. He reached out to touch her face only to have her begin to recede from his side. Each attempt he made to close the gap only caused it to grow until all he could see was her smile and then consciousness found him once more.

It was as he recalled the end of the dream that his sights returned to her still resting frame. Though it was only a dream, it was vivid enough to give the Time Lord pause. What did it mean? Did it mean anything? Was he just grasping? Just as he was about to mull over those questions, his eyes fell upon something that caused his hearts to skip a couple of beats. He was afraid to hope that his memory was not failing him at this moment but he was certain that Martha's head had been facing straight up at the ceiling when he fell asleep at her side.

Yet now it was clearly turned slightly towards where his head had been resting. He studied her for a long moment trying to decide if he was losing it or if his hope had been answered. After an instant more of contemplation, he decided to take the chance and slightly lean back into her. He tenderly placed a hand upon her cheek and lightly stroked it as he softly called her name. When she didn't respond instantly, he became a bit disheartened but couldn't stop himself from trying again, this time making his voice a bit more firm.

"Martha . . . come on. I know you can hear me. Just open those lovely brown eyes for me."

This time much to his surprise and relief, he saw her eyelids begin to flutter. He could not keep a broad grin from spreading across his face as he continued to urge her on, "That's it. You can do it."

Gradually, Martha honored his request and found herself lost in the soulful, aged eyes of her best mate. His smile blossomed as he leaned over her and quietly said, "Welcome back, Martha Jones."

Martha again tried to smile but because of the ventilator she wasn't sure how well she managed. The Doctor seemed to recognize the effort as he grasped her hand again and gave it a gentle squeeze, causing her to sigh. The pair held their long awaited gaze for a lengthy while before it donned on the Doctor that he should alert the nurses and doctor to Martha's new status.

"I'm going to go let the doctor know you've come to, OK?" he softly stated.

But as he attempted to release her hand, Martha found the strength to weakly tighten her hold on his hand. He could see a hint of distress but mostly confusion. The Doctor leaned back into her and tenderly soothed, "I promise once the doctor checks you over I will be back and explain everything, alright?"

She still appeared reluctant to let him go but when he gave her a reassuring smile and brought her hand up to his lips for a quick kiss, she slowly allowed him to withdraw his hand.

He gave her one last lingering beam before stepping back from her bed and making his way towards the door. As she sighed again before allowing her eyes to close once more, the Doctor glanced back at her once more, ecstatic that she was back and realizing that he had never been more relieved than he was right then.


	20. Chapter 20

**Guys, I'm so sorry for the long delay. I've had a bad case of writer's block and everything I've tried seemed to be blah . . . I'm still not overly happy with this one but I want to move things forward. As always I appreciate all the wonderful feedback and hope you all continue to enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 20 . . .

The Doctor stood just inside the door of the now familiar hospital room and gazed silently at the resting woman before him. He hadn't been able to keep his word after he left her to go find the doctor. By the time she had been properly examined, Martha's family had arrived and was anxious to see her. Clive urged the Doctor to join them but the Time Lord felt this was time for the Jones clan to come together. So he went back to his ship and puttered around for a while until he received a call from Francine informing him Martha wanted to see him.

He was anxious to see her as well. She had only been awake for a brief time when he last saw her but in that brief flash of awareness he had seen all he needed to. Just behind the confusion of the situation, he'd seen in her eyes what he always had . . . love. Now as he gazed at her, minus her breathing apparatus, he found himself still struggling internally to embrace similar emotions for her. Not because he didn't feel it or because she didn't deserve to know that but because if he acknowledged it . . . really admitted what he was feeling then he moved to unfamiliar territory and he wasn't sure he was ready for that kind of uncertainty.

His musings were cut short by a faint, familiar voice, "Where did you go?"

The Doctor focused in on her and smiled lightly as she spoke with her eyes still closed, "Just to check on the TARDIS."

She sighed quietly before her eyes finally fluttered open to meet his. Then she lazily teased, "Not trying to skip out on me, then?"

His smile brightened, "Not a chance. I just thought you and you're family could use some time alone."

"I'm glad you're back."

"I was thinking the same thing," he smartly replied while moving deeper into the room and ultimately taking his usual seat at her side.

Martha let her eyes follow him to his final destination before sighing again.

"You're looking at me as if you haven't seen me in days."

His smile wavered slightly, "I'm just pleased to see you awake."

She gave her first hint of a smile as she quipped, "You missed me?"

He shook his head at her attempts at levity, "Well it's nice to see your ordeal hasn't dampened your cheekiness."

Her smile slowly fell away and the Doctor detected that reality of what had happened was now starting to hit her. She had nearly died and for the foreseeable future she would be limited in what she could do. He wanted to comfort her, let her know it would all be ok now but he found himself unsure of just how to do that. He was still a novice at this relationship stuff after all. Soon a slightly awkward silence hung between them and both were struck by the fact that this was the first time in months that they didn't know how to proceed with each other.

They had been gradually coming together recently, doing and sharing things they hadn't before but with the fog of death lingering around them it was as though they had been hurdled back to a less settled time. Martha, though, was determined not to let them slip back into a period of ambiguity and tension. She wanted them to continue to freely share with each other whatever was on their minds. So exhaling deeply, she broke through the uneasiness, "Doctor?"

"Yes."

"I need you to do something for me."

He reached for the hand that over the past few days was now etched in his memory and began to lightly caress the back with his thumb as he softly replied, "If I can."

The sensation of his hand enveloping hers proved to be a bit distracting for Martha. The simple but intimate action compelled her to believe that he too was trying to banish the unease that had momentarily befallen them. The tender massage of her flesh with his lithe fingers was something that warmed her and also put her at ease. Eventually she regained her train of thought and pressed forward with her request, "I need you to walk me through what happened. The last thing I remember clearly was Jack walking towards me at the warehouse."

The Doctor inhaled sharply before gently beginning, "Martha . . . you've just awakened from a serious trauma. There'll be plenty of time for sorting . . ."

She abruptly cut him off, "Don't. I just got finished listening to my parents give the same spiel. I need you to be straight with me, alright? Just tell me what happened."

Her tone informed him she was determined so he reluctantly relented, not wanting to cause her any undue stress by arguing. He started from where she left off and brought her up to date on the aftermath. Martha remained quiet long enough to make the Doctor begin to regret reliving the events. The last thing he wanted was to add to her trauma, yet even before he could begin to backpedal, she finally broke her silence.

"So everything worked out? The machine you and Mickey were working on got rid of the Doclan and the children are alright?"

He nodded which triggered a tired smile from her, "Good. Then being here is worth it."

"Martha. . ." he began, wanting to reprimand her for saying such a thing. The part of him that had just been meditating on his growing feelings for her wanted to say nothing was worth her life but the last of the Time Lord part admired her willingness to put herself in harm's way for the greater good. It was these kinds of conflicts he was having more and more. Was his becoming closer to her causing him to lose objectivity? Could he risk that? Again his musings were cut short by his bedridden mate.

"Doctor . . . there's something else," she stated as she watched him closely.

She had noticed his slight bristle at her comment and was curious as to what was going on in his mind at that moment. Martha, though, decided against pressing the point for now. There was something else she wanted to discuss while she still had the energy. His eyes were now intently on her as he waited for her to continue. With a deep sigh, she quietly continued, "It's about my rehab."

"What about it?"

"I know it's going to be a long process and I just want you to know I don't expect you to stick around for it," she evenly finished.

The Doctor's eyes slightly widened as he let her words quickly sank in, "Martha, I'm not just going to disappear."

She sighed again, "I know that, but I also understand that it's not in your nature to be in one place for too long. You stayed while I was unconscious and that means more to me than you'll ever know. I also recognize you need to be out there in time and space doing what you do even if I can't be there. So I don't want you to worry about me feeling abandoned or something."

The Doctor wanted to say something, deny that his desire to be on the move was warring with his desire to be there for her but, as usual, she read him like a book.

"That being said, I do have a request . . ."

He hesitantly bit, "Alright . . ."

She gave a tentative smile answering his anxiousness, "Please just keep your mobile nearby in case I need you to rescue me from my mum mothering me or if I just want to hear your voice. Can you do that?"

Once again her caring and compassion were on full display. Even if inside she might have liked him to stay at her side, she knew who he was and that it was tied to traveling about. As always seemed to be the case, she appreciated that and didn't hold it against him. He could only stare at her in awe at her capacity to continually put other's needs first.

Eventually he gave her a warm smile and her hand a light squeeze as he replied, "Yeah . . . I think can handle that."

"Good." Martha then paused and lightly returned the squeeze of his hand before quietly concluding, "And thanks."

He gave her a nonplussed look, "For what?"

"For being here," she concluded seriously.

He briefly measured his response. Again he was caught between conflicting roles. He was so used to moving on before ideas of attachment could gain a firm foothold but now as he sat in this hospital room next to a woman who had come to mean so much more to him than he ever thought possible, the Doctor found himself wanting to do or say something that would convince her that his being there was not some fluke or courtesy he was bestowing on her. It was something she should expect.

He smiled warmly, "No thanks needed. It is where I belonged."

As he hoped, that response garnered a serene smile from her before her eyes once again drifted closed. He placed a soft kiss on the back of the hand he was holding before silently watching her rest.

* * *

It took another week before Martha was finally released into the care of a doctor in London and her very eager family. Francine had made up her childhood room and insisted that it was there that she should recuperate. Martha had learned long ago to pick her battles with her mum and she relented once she got Francine's word that she would not hover too much. Once she was set up back home, Martha and the Doctor finally garnered a bit of time alone. She sat perched against a mound of pillows with the arm closest to her injury in a sling while the Doctor sat on her opposite side facing her. Neither had said much at first, both knowing that another goodbye was coming up.

Finally, the Doctor broke the quiet, "So this is your old room?"

She gave him a light smirk, "Yeah . . ."

She paused and glanced around at the mementos and trinkets of her youth before returning her gaze to him, "What of it?"

"Nothing. I just never took you for the boy band type," he returned as he gestured towards the Backstreet Boys poster on the wall over her bed.

"They had some good songs," she smartly replied.

He smiled, "I'm sure."

There was another brief silence before Martha dived into the real elephant in the room.

"I guess you'll be heading out soon," she began evenly.

He watched her face for a long moment but like her mother she gave him little.

He sighed, "Yeah . . . I figure I should check in on the universe, see how things are going. You know last of the Time Lords and all."

She nodded but didn't smile at his quip which prompted him to offer, "I could hang out here a little longer if. . ."

Martha shook her head, "You'd go bananas, no pun intended, and I'd feel guilty so let's just be realistic here. You're going to go and do what you do and I will be here trying not to lose it when my mum reneges on her promise to not smother me."

"Martha, it's good to have people who want to take care of you," he replied with a small smile.

She returned it, "Alright, I promise to be a good patient and you promise to take care and be safe, deal?"

His smile brightened, "Deal."

Another silence ensued between the pair prompting the Doctor to gradually inch closer to her. Martha monitored his progress and anticipated his next move. The couple never lost eye contact as she lightly moistened her lips and prepared for his welcomed intrusion into her personal space. Millimeters from reconnecting as they hadn't since she'd been shot, he paused and gazed at her once more before completing the intimate gesture. His lips found and tenderly caressed hers. Martha affectionately raised her good hand to his face and the Doctor mimicked her action with his hand tenderly stroking her cheek. The kiss lingered as long as the duo dared with her mum being just down stairs. As the impassioned but chaste kiss slowly came to an end, they slightly separated, maintaining contact with their foreheads.

Martha held his gaze as she softly concluded, "See you soon?"

His smile returned, "Oh yes."

He then gave her a quick peck on the nose before finally rising to take his leave. Martha watched him go with more melancholy than she had expected. She trusted their separation was only temporary but the idea of not seeing him every day coupled with not being there to watch his back was not sitting well with her. Sadly, she knew she had no choice but to deal with things and hope her recovery went forward without any major setbacks. She was beginning to realize another truth as well . . . she needed to be out there among the stars almost as much as he did.


	21. Chapter 21

**As always, your kind words and continued interest are appreciated. Enjoy!**

Chapter 21 . . .

The Doctor couldn't help being a bit tickled as he navigated his way through the time vortex. He was currently on his way to Martha's mum's house. For the tenth time in three weeks, Martha was 'at her wits end' with her mother. She and Francine had been grating on each other from almost the moment she had returned from Cardiff. Francine had been in full mothering mode, whereas Martha had no interest in being treated like an invalid. He knew both women had strong personalities which didn't bode well for the situation. Though she had made remarkable progress in less than a month, Martha was still on the mend and the stress couldn't be helping.

Martha phoned him while he was in the midst of an intergalactic chess tournament appearing to have finally had enough. She requested that he come and get her before she did something "unpleasant" to her mother. As much as he missed having her with him, he knew she still wasn't well enough to resume traveling fully again. He did contemplate a compromise he hoped would soothe both mother and daughter.

* * *

When he arrived at the Jones' home, he was tepidly greeted by Francine.

"Ah, Mrs. Jones, how are things?"

"As if you don't already know," she replied curtly.

"I'm sure she's been giving you the play by play of her version."

The Doctor guiltily hesitated, "Well . . . she did mention you two were a bit at odds."

Francine rolled her eyes, reminding him so much of Martha when she was frustrated, "She's just being a pill. It's true what they say about doctors making lousy patients. She ignores half of the doctor's instructions and the other half she tweaks whenever the mood strikes her. It's a wonder she's made as much progress as she has."

She paused and dramatically threw up her hands before concluding, "God knows I love my daughter but honestly, I'm nearly at the end of my rope here."

The Doctor could sense the frustration from both women but was convinced he had a solution he hoped both would find amenable. He decided since he already had her ear to try and sell it to Francine first.

"What if I said I could help remedy this situation?"

She raised a brow, "Short of drugging her pudding?"

The Doctor raised a brow at that comment to which Francine promptly replied, "Believe me, in my weaker moments I thought about it."

"Well it's nothing as dramatic as that. I was just thinking that maybe I could take Martha out for a bit."

Francine's eyes immediately widened into saucers, "No. No, she is definitely not ready for that . . . not yet."

The Doctor could see the fear of him whisking Martha off planet into more danger seep in instantly. He was also sure she was less ready than Martha but he shook his head, trying to calm her concern.

"You have my word we will not set foot off this planet. I know she is still recovering and wouldn't think of rushing that. I was thinking more like a walk through the park and maybe even a bite to eat."

Francine narrowed her eyes at the Time Lord with skepticism clearly etched there. He tried to answer her doubts firmly, "Mrs. Jones, I promise I won't take her anywhere further than the immediate neighborhood, alright? There will be no alien hunting, running or strenuous activities of any kind. I just think you could both use the breather. Wouldn't you agree?"

Now she began to look a bit less anxious. The truth was she knew a small break might do both she and Martha some good.

"And I have your word she doesn't leave this planet?" she pressed.

The Doctor instantly threw up two fingers and proudly stated, "Scout's honor." He paused and looked at his fingers and then back at Martha's mum, "That is the proper gesture, right?"

Francine shook her head with a bemused look etched on her face and was about to interject how strange he was when Martha appeared at the top of the stairs and glared at them both fiercely.

"Well, it's nice to see that you two can get along," she coolly commented.

"Martha. . ." the Doctor started.

Martha, though, didn't give him a chance to finish his thought as she tersely continued, "Too bad it's at my expense. I don't appreciate you two discussing me as if I have no mind of my own. I'm not some wayward child that needs handling by anyone. I am a trained medical doctor who knows my own body. I will do as I damn well please, so there is no need for these "back alley" deals to keep me in line."

As both the Doctor and her mother stood mouth slightly agape at her heated outburst, Martha frostily finished, "Now if you'll both excuse me, I'm going back to my room and you can both just go if I'm such a bother." She then promptly turned and disappeared back into the shadows.

Francine returned her gaze to the Doctor after her daughter's tirade and pointedly replied, "See what I'm dealing with here? No matter what I say or do it's wrong."

She sighed before preparing to head up the stairs in an attempt to smooth things over with her overwrought child when the Doctor moved to impede her progress.

"Let me try."

She offered a strained smile at his offer and reluctantly yielded the stairs to him with a wave. He returned the smile before slowly taking the stairs up.

* * *

He was greeted, as he expected, with a closed door and silence from the other side. So the Doctor proceeded to do what he did best . . . talk.

"Martha, your mum and I were not making plans for you. We both know you're very capable of making your own choices. We were simply thinking of ways of getting you out of here for a while that wouldn't exacerbate your recovery. I had every intention of coming to talk with you about it after . . ."

"After she gave you her blessing . . . like I'm some child," she hotly fired through the door.

He sighed inwardly, thinking that her present attitude was belying her protests to the contrary, "Not her blessing, just common courtesy. I thought she should know what I was thinking of doing. How would it look for me to swoop in and whisk you off without so much as a word?"

Martha scoffed, "I don't know . . . maybe like the first time we met."

That comment gave him pause. It was true that back then he hadn't even given her possible family concerns a second thought but now things had changed.

"Fair enough but things are different now, yeah?"

This time instead of a facetious reply he heard a sigh on the other side of the door. He sensed from that gesture that she was starting to lose some of her ire so he gently pressed, "May I please come in so we can talk about this face to face?"

There was another long silence after his request that made him think she might still be unwilling to relent. Just as he was about to let out his own sigh of frustration, the door before him slowly opened just a crack and then stopped. The Doctor figured this was as close to an invitation as he was going to get at the moment, so cautiously he pushed the door open wider and stepped inside. He glanced around briefly, with his eyes eventually falling on her diminutive frame sitting in an overstuffed plush chair just off to the side of her bed. Her gaze was fixed outside the window as she sat huddled with her feet tucked in the chair and her arms gingerly wrapped around herself. He noticed her countenance now appeared less angry and more irritated. The Doctor sighed as he moved further into the room and studied her for a long moment.

For her part, Martha knew she was being a bit ornery and had been for a while but she was a person used to taking care of others and not having the reverse be true. She didn't like depending on others to do things, especially basic ones like brushing her teeth or putting on makeup. She'd also been shot and nearly killed. As much as she wanted to just bounce back from that, the thoughts of how vulnerable she actually was would not dissipate. He physical wound had been healing nicely but her mental recovery was not going so smoothly.

Unfortunately, she had been taking out her anxiety and frustration on any one within earshot, which was usually her mum. Martha knew she wasn't being fair, after all her mum had taken time off of work to care for her and all she had done from day one was give her grief. However, seeing and hearing Francine and the Doctor discussing her like some unruly teen tweaked all her current emotions and she again spoke through her emotions. She knew she owed them both apologies but she was finding it hard to make herself do that.

Surprisingly, the Doctor beat her to the punch. She was stunned when she heard his voice so close. She glanced to her side just as he lowered himself to her side and gently said, "I'm sorry if you felt I was overstepping. I just wanted to make things better for you."

The gentleness of his tone coupled with the humility and caring of his words proved too much for her conscious to bear.

"I'm the one who's sorry. My mum is right. I have been behaving like a cantankerous child. She's been doing everything she could to help me out and I have done nothing but complain and criticize."

She paused and sighed before turning to look at him more fully.

"It's just hard . . . not being able to do things for myself," she softly concluded before turning her gaze back out the window as though embarrassed by her admission.

The Doctor, though, was happy to hear her admit what this was really about. He knew it would be hard for Martha to not be the caretaker. She was always the one people depended on and now having to be the dependent one was a change she was struggling with. He lightly touched her arm, causing her to return her eyes to him as he gently tried to soothe, "I get that. Better than most, in fact. You're so used to taking care of everyone that when the shoe's on the other foot you don't know how to react. But, Martha, sometimes you have to let someone take care of you too. Having you with me, both times, taught me that. It's not a sign of weakness to need help every now and then."

Martha inhaled deeply as she held his gaze and then slowly released that breath and gave him a grateful smile before quietly responding, "I know you're right and I'm really sorry for biting your head off earlier."

He responded with a reassuring smile that soon morphed into that more familiar, manic grin, "So does that mean you will be joining me for that stroll after all?"

Her smile brightened as she borrowed one of his favorite lines, "Oh yes."

* * *

After summoning Francine for an apology and assistance in getting dressed, Martha and the Doctor set off on foot. Their first stop was a little bistro in the neighborhood. There they shared light conversation mostly about the places the Doctor had visited in her absence. He assured her he had done nothing too amazing—stopped a few wars, rescued some natives from a vengeful despot—same old same old. Martha could only chuckle at his assessment of the "mundane". By the time they exited the restaurant, she, though, was completely at ease. The pair then silently strolled, arm and arm, over to a neighborhood park.

It was a balmy autumn evening and for a while each was content to quietly observe the brightly colored leaves on the ground as they gently danced about and the playful pups out for a stroll with their owners in tow. Martha eventually broke the silence, "Thanks for doing this."

He glanced over at her and playfully quipped, "I'm all for gratitude but you really don't need to thank me for visiting. You're my . . ." He hesitated to complete the sentence causing Martha to meet his gaze and wait, expectantly. Inside, a hundred adjectives raced through the Time Lord's mind but all seemed loaded with potential complications. Knowing he needed to complete the thought, he pulled out something he thought safe but also meaningful.

"My dearest companion."

Martha raised a brow at his declaration but otherwise didn't react outwardly. Inside, however, she was caught between being heartened and wondering if companion would be all she would ever really be to him. As much as things had changed, she still felt there was calculated distance between them. She sighed and attempted to push those thoughts aside for the moment. He was here with her now and obviously trying to affirm that their relationship was significant. So instead of lingering on what wasn't said she returned to his previous point, genuinely replying, "I just don't want you to think that I take it for granted that you will come when I call."

His smile brightened, "The thought never crossed my mind."

He paused again and leaned in closer to her as he concluded, "And for the record, I will always come when you need me."

That admission warmed Martha immensely and finally brought her own smile to light.

As another companionable engulfed them and the pair comfortably walked on, the Doctor's thoughts drifted to how satisfying it felt to be with Martha like this, doing nothing in particular. He was usually so busy looking for the next adventure but since Martha had been out of commission, he found he would linger more, notice things he might have overlooked in the past.

For instance, he caught sight of a young couple walking towards he and Martha wrapped in each other's hold, laughing easily. At another point in time, such a thing would never have registered with him . . . just humans being humans. But now being with Martha and having nearly lost her, things like that seemed to take on more significance for him. He found himself more willing to entertain feelings of connection because she made it so easy. Just a smile or a quirk of her brow seemed to make him do things he would not have thought to do, not since Rose . . .

He sighed inwardly. Rose Tyler. She had been his everything once. She came into his life when he felt he had nothing worth living for. He was so raw and lost when they found each other. But like a ray of light, she broke through his darkness and opened him up again and made him enjoy life once more. For so long after he lost her, he believed nothing and no one could ever fill that void. Then he met Martha Jones. She was only training to be a doctor when they met but he knew from the instant they first spoke she would be a brilliant one eventually. He also knew she would be someone dear to him. And even as he did everything he could to dissuade her from caring for him, she never wavered in her affection. Yes, she moved forward but never beyond the eccentric old Time Lord.

As he walked arm and arm with her, he smiled inside, contemplating how another human woman had managed to worm her way into his hearts so fully, this time almost without him knowing. By sheer force of will and refusing to settle, she forced him to share some of who he was . . . things that he hadn't even shared with Rose. The tiny woman became a match for in numerous ways including intellectually and in determination.

And it was because of her that after Rose he did not wallow in his despair but recaptured his love of exploring the universe again. Her inquisitiveness, her compassion and willingness to make whatever sacrifices was necessary for others, especially him, made him adore her all the more. It was with these thoughts swirling in his mind that he was finally ready to acknowledge, at least to himself, that he had crossed the line he never thought he would with her.

He abruptly paused their walk, causing Martha to look up at him in confusion. The Doctor turned and studied her perplexed features for a tenuous moment before gently pulling her into a sudden, lingering hug. Martha was surprised at the unexpected contact but easily melted into his embrace. He placed a soft kiss on her hair and ruminated on what he knew without question now . . . he had fallen for Martha completely. The feel and the warmth of her were like a home he never thought he'd have again and that idea both excited and frightened him. He loved feeling this way. The rush of wanting and having someone who felt the same way was nearly overwhelming. Instinctively, he began to tighten his hold on her as they stood in each other's arms, unconsciously attempting to hold on to something he knew could be gone in an instant. It wasn't until he caught a soft hitch in her breathing that he came back to the moment itself.

"Too tight?" he softly inquired.

Still unsure of what prompted this amorous interlude, Martha had no interest in having it end yet. So she lightly shook her head against him as she replied, "Never."

He smiled at her response but still loosened his hold a little. And like a splash of reality, he was reminded of the frailty that went along with that feeling. She had nearly died less than a month ago and as a human one day she would succumb to death one way or another. It could all be so fleeting like the last time. He hadn't been sure, at the time, he would ever recover from losing Rose and now that he found himself harboring similar feelings for Martha, he was again left wondering how he would respond when he lost her too.

The Doctor knew he only had two options. He could either lay it on the line and love her for as long and as hard as he could, giving her more power than he'd ever given to anyone or continue to dance around his feelings for her and miss an opportunity, again, to let the person he loved know just how much she meant to him.

He gradually pulled away from their hug and sincerely looked into her questioning eyes, "Martha. . ."

She held his gaze and waited for him to continue. She could sense that there was something momentous compelling him along this more intimate course and she didn't want to disrupt his flow. She shuddered slightly when he brought his hands up to her face and gazed at her with such longing. He tenderly caressed her skin with his thumbs as he began again, "Martha, I . . ."

As she gazed up at him hopefully, his head started to war with his hearts again. His reason was telling him stepping across this threshold was the point of no return. Once he told her what he was feeling there would be no turning back. He knew Martha would take that admission and run with it and while his hearts longed for that reaction his more practical side hammered away at the idealization of what would come after his profession. He wanted so much to tell her those three little words he knew would mean so much and change everything for them both, to embrace what he felt and her and never let either go. But because of memories of past hope and loss he just couldn't prevent himself from reverting back to old habits.

He gave her a heart melting grin and restrained his impulse to declare his feelings, for now he told himself.

"I think we should be heading back. Don't want to get on your mum's bad side or, in my case, remain on it."

Martha could not help feeling a bit deflated by his ultimate words. The hold, the look, the moment seemed to scream of something more significant begging to be said but as he was prone to do, the Doctor shifted emotions and demeanors like a light switch. She sighed inwardly, wondering when or if those final barriers of his would ever come down. Or would she always be competing with his past . . . with Rose? Though things have been better than in the past there were still moments when she could almost sense him hesitate, as if the specter of the blonde was holding him back from her. She sighed audibly this time before giving him a halfhearted smile in return, "Yeah, I guess we should."

She gently removed herself from his hold and turned back towards the entrance they came in. Then gazing towards the coming and going traffic, she absently uttered, "Thanks again for the break."

"Oi!" was his short reply which caused her to chuckle in spite of the previous moment.

"Sorry. I forgot."

The Doctor joined her in the chortle, "Alright then, I'll let that one pass."

He then gently took the hand of her uninjured arm and began them back towards her mum's. Their journey back was a quiet one with both lost in their own thoughts which surprisingly both centered on whether they would ever fully get to where they wanted to be.


	22. Chapter 22

**This one is pretty long and there are a couple of flashbacks that I hope make clear why things are happening as they are. There is a big shift coming up that is essential to the story so don't beat me up too much _**__ducking behind a chair**, _LOL. Anyhow, I promise the next chapter will be up soon. I just need to edit it. Enjoy and thanks as always to all my reviewers and those who have taken an interest.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 22 . . .

Once they had reentered the TARDIS, Martha felt compelled to ask about their hasty retreat. She waited until he guided them back into the time vortex before she moved to his side and cautiously spoke again, "Doctor . . . do you want to tell me what happened and why we didn't stay to help the Ani?"

He sighed heavily but remained quiet causing her to press, "Doctor?"

He finally turned his attentions to her and shortly replied, "Just leave it, Martha."

"But . . ."

His eyes clouded over, "Leave. It."

His look and tone sent a shiver up Martha's spine and for the first time ever she recoiled from him in shock. If she was honest she had known something had changed the instant she stepped foot back inside the sentient ship but she had chosen to ignore it. Now, as they gazed at each other across the console, it seemed reality was finally asserting itself. The Doctor had been acting out of character for some time and his callous tone towards her just now solidified her anxiety and forced her mind to wander back to where things began to go wrong.

* * *

_In just two months she had fought back from her near fatal ordeal to rejoin him in his travels across the universe. Martha had been enthused to step back into the fray immediately but ultimately let the Doctor convince her of the need to ease back into things. He claimed it was to put her mum at ease but his lack of objection to the idea should have been her first clue something wasn't right. She, though, was so ready to get back out into the thick of things that she reluctantly agreed to his terms. _

_Their first trip back out ended up being on a planet whose terrain was made of a spongy material of some sort. When they first stepped out and onto the surface Martha nearly reneged on her promise to take things slow. He'd basically taken her to a padded planet. Again, the Doctor attempted to persuade her that there were plenty of exciting things they could do on the quilty orb. Martha, though, initially viewed him and his contention skeptically. The Doctor then offered her a compromise, they would walk through the city center and if they found nothing of interest they would go. She relented once more and allowed him to guide her through a vibrant, if cushy, town. _

_The natives appeared friendly enough but as they made it halfway through the town Martha was becoming restless. She was all for taking it easy but this was like taking a Sunday drive with her grandparents. She was just about to share that observation when they came across a small crowd gathered around what looked like a town bulletin board. The Doctor finagled them to the front and they both read about one of the natives' favorite pastimes. Martha finished reading the flyer and then turned her wide eyed glow back to him. The Doctor caught her look and instinctively began to shake his head, "Martha, no. Your mum would kill me." _

_Martha sassily returned, "What she doesn't know won't hurt you besides since when do you care what my mum thinks?" _

_He studied her defiant expression for a moment before sighing heavily, "Fine but I try it out first, alright?" _

_She bounced up a on her toes and gave a jubilant hug to her companion, "Deal." _

_So it was that first the Doctor and then Martha did something similar to bungee jumping without a net from a mid-sized cliff on the edge of the village. The native who ran the activity explained that because of the planets composition there wasn't much chance of anyone being harmed if the cord happened to snap. The adrenaline rush was in knowing there was nothing to catch you. _

_Back on the TARDIS Martha raved about the rush and clamored for their next adventure. The Doctor, on the other hand, appeared to be more subdued. Martha chalked it up to his general boredom with anything less than toppling governments or saving planets. She figured their next stop, then, would be more along the lines of what they usually did. She was, however, wrong. _

_A few days later, they arrived at another benign location. This planet, Miko, was the home of an interplanetary theme park. It was a cross between Disney World with different themed areas and Kings Island with row after row of roller coasters. There were also games, a food court and souvenir stands all over the place._

_As the Doctor attempted to uh and ah her into submission, Martha became more and more disenchanted. She realized what he was doing and why. The sentiment touched her. Her mum, it seemed, wasn't the only one worried about her. She, though, had no intention of letting things go any further down this path. So when he tried to entice her to join him at a hoop toss with the promise of winning her a blue stuffed space alien of some kind, she cut him off with her hands on her hips and a pointed stare. _

_Innocently, he asked, "What?" _

"_Doctor, I'm not made of glass. The doctor at Royal Hope gave me a clean bill of health so while I appreciate your concern, this stops now," she firmly stated through narrowed eyes. _

_He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked nervously in his trainers, "You can't blame a guy for trying, right?" _

_She gave him a faint smile, "I'm your companion and shipmate. Let me be that unless you think I can't handle it anymore." _

_He sighed and shook his head, "You know that's not the case and you're right. You've never needed coddling." _

_Her smile brightened at that acknowledgment and he recognized that he was licked. He relented and as means of a truce once they reentered the TARDIS, he offered to let her pilot the ship and also pick their next destination. Properly satisfied, Martha saddled up to the controls the instant they reentered the ship. He stoically observed as she went through all the steps he had taught her for getting things going but when she got to the part where she had to pick coordinates she paused and caught his gaze. He raised a brow and waited for her. _

_Martha finally obliged with a teasing smile, "Can I trust you to pick a random number between 1 and 99?" _

_A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth in spite of his remaining reserve. _

"_Martha Jones, you wound me. Can I be trusted?" _

_She playfully rolled her eyes, "I'm serious." _

"_I promise, no more padded planets or amusement parks," he returned with a smirk. _

_Martha studied him a moment longer before brightening her smile, "Alright then . . ." _

_He finally gave in and offered his trademark grin, "80." _

_She quickly typed it in before prompting his next selection with her eyes. The Doctor appeared to contemplate for a long instance before adding, "15." _

_Martha easily added it to the screen and was just about to request the last when the TARDIS alarms went wild. She recalled a similar reaction when they ended up on the Pentallon. The two time travellers looked at each other wide eyed and in unison yelled, "Distress signal!" _

_The Doctor quickly joined her at the controls and helped her lock in on the signal and then stepped back again and allowed her to bring it in for the landing. _

_Martha stepped out of the TARDIS with an overly satisfied smile on her face. Not only had she just solo piloted the ship but she had landed exactly where she intended, in the thick of unfolding action. The Doctor stepped out behind her appearing a little less enthused._ _Danger and chaos always seemed to find them and he again didn't appear as keen as he usually did about new situations. Martha was, however, too excited about __being in the midst of their first true adventure since Cardiff to ponder his more tentative mood. _

"_So where are we?" she asked with a clap of her hands. He glanced down at her and then around at their surroundings. _

"_Well . . . if my suspicions are correct this is Anius, a planet of telepaths."_

"_Telepaths, as in a world full of mind readers?" she inquired with excitement._

_The Doctor gave a small beam, "Oh yes." _

_Martha returned the gesture before questioning further, "So should I be concerned about having all my deep, dark secrets revealed?" _

_He raised a brow and smirked, "Deep, dark secrets?" _

"_We all have skeletons in our closets," she teased. _

"_I'll bet but no. Most telepaths have an unspoken rule in which they won't read someone's thoughts without permission."_

"_Good to know. So where are we heading first? It seems odd that no one is about especially since we got a distress call," she continued while looking around the seemingly deserted village they landed in. _

_He gazed around more intensely this time. It appeared that something had got everyone off the streets. The scene was eerily sinister. The Doctor's eyes eventually came to rest on a hut that appeared a bit more fanciful than the others._

_He looked back to her and gave a curious smile, "I'd say there looks like a good place." _

_She followed his gaze to the dwelling and nodded, "Let's check it out." _

_The pair clasped hands and headed off to do what they did best._

Now being soundly stunned at his attitude, Martha began to back away from the agitated Time Lord and eventually left him in the console room hoping to give him the chance to cool down. She headed to the kitchen to make some tea, thinking that he would soon join her and they could talk things out.

For his part, the Doctor knew he was being unfair to Martha. She didn't know that their arrival on the planet had been orchestrated and that the distress she witnessed by the natives was his doing. His mind was drowning in his own thoughts and actions and he just couldn't deal with her questions right then. He was still shaken, himself, by what had ultimately transpired on Anius. He was trying to reconcile what happened with all the damage he might have caused and why. Silently, he stared straight ahead and recalled the moment he realized the whole scenario had been a set up.

* * *

_The high priest of the Ani glared at the Time Lord. He had been shut out of the Doctor's mind forcefully. It was clear his ruse of allowing the Time Lord to commune with his people in order to discover what malevolent force was attacking them had been found out. The priest thought once the Doctor let down his guard, he would be able to probe and find in his mind what he needed to expand the reach of his people beyond their isolated world. The Doctor's will, though, was much stronger than he believed and the alien had easily rebuked the attempt. He then sternly warned him against trying to search his mind again without his consent. The priest, knowing his plan had failed, refused to be repentant and coolly eyed his "guest"._

"_Who are you to come to my planet and make threats?" the diminutive leader growled. _

_The Doctor cut him a cool glare, "I'm the Doctor and I don't make threats, Your Highness. My mind is off limits to you and anyone. I came here to help but not if you don't respect my privacy."_

_He sneered as he became more brazen, "We'll see about that. You see, Doctor, you have not arrived here by chance. We have heard about you, the last of the Time Lords, and know of your abilities to wield time and space. Inside your mind is the key to my people reaching beyond this world and becoming the gods we were born to be."_

"_It's not going to happen. Whatever it is you're after I won't let you have it."_

"_Maybe a bit of incentive will change your mind," he replied as he moved over to his alter and took a seat._

_The Doctor narrowed his gaze at the being, unsure of what he thought he had as leverage. _

"_Incentive?" _

_The priest's lips curled into a cruel smile, "Yes, like a certain human female in your charge. You may be able to keep me out of your mind but can she?"_

"_Don't you dare," the Doctor angrily cautioned. _

"_Just give me what I want . . . access to your mind and she will be spared."_

_The Doctor was becoming more enraged with each exchange, "You don't want to do this. She can't tell you anything and if you try and harm her I will have no choice but to act." _

_His smirked deeper, "You're right. She can't tell me anything but she can get you to. Are you willing to risk her well-being? I sense the answer is no."_

_This had been exactly what he had been concerned about when Martha rejoined him. She had just overcome so much and to now have her being threatened again, he just couldn't control his rage. Feeling backed into a corner, the Doctor he gave him his fiercest glare as he coldly retorted, "Don't do this or I won't be responsible for what happens."_

_The priest seemed unaffected by the Time Lord's anger as he closed his eyes and appeared to go into a trance right before his eyes. In moments, the Doctor got a jolt from his TARDIS connection that told him Martha was in distress. Without another word the Time Lord concentrated all his mental energy on the priest before him. Suddenly, the telepath's eyes shot open in horror before he yelled out in agonizing pain. The Doctor remained unmoved as he watched the holy man cringe and grasp his head in obvious anguish._

"_Stop this! Stop it now!" he screamed but the Doctor was incensed and unreceptive to his pleas. Even as blood began to trickle from his nose the Doctor appeared unwilling to let up. It wasn't until Martha emotionally stumbled into the hut calling his name that he snapped out of the trance that had over taken him. _

_His sights shifted from the priest to his companion as she shakily spoke, "Doctor, something's happening. I was sitting with some of the villagers when I was struck by a piercing pain in my head. Felt like someone stabbing me in the brain with a hot needle. Then moments later it was gone and all the villagers began writhing in the streets and screaming out in pain."_

_He was looking at her but not really seeing her as her words sank in. He was aware that these telepaths have a collective conscious which meant anything he did to one could be amplified through the others. Yet in the moment when the priest had threatened to harm Martha he had reacted without regard for that knowledge. Now, though, as she stood before him in obvious distress about the situation, he was brought back to the reality of what he had just done and why. The Doctor tore his eyes away from her long enough to glance as the slowly recovering priest. _

_A stilted, cool tone she had never had directed at her spilt from his mouth as he turned back to her._

"_We have to go." _

_She looked at him in confusion, "Go? But what about . . ." _

_She never got to finish her thought because he was already on the move. He abruptly walked past her and out the door without another word. The Doctor's long strides already had him well on his way back to his TARDIS. She hurried to catch up._

"_Doctor? Doctor . . . what happened back there?"_

_He never responded and Martha eventually fell silent focusing on staying in step with him until they made their way back to the ship. _

* * *

After her second cup and no sign of him, Martha decided she needed to seek him out again and not accept his stonewalling. When she returned to the console room, he was still standing in front of the monitor just staring.

Martha measured how she should proceed. His earlier reaction startled her but now she was more convinced than ever that she needed to find out what was going on with him before it festered. Ever since she rejoined him, she had been feeling some hesitancy from him. At first she thought it was just him being careful of her after the shooting but with his response today she was beginning to wonder if something more was making him tentative. She finally decided to take the plunge again when his gaze shifted to her.

As gently as she could manage, she inquired, "Are you ready to talk about it?"

He exhaled through his nose and closed his eyes briefly before returning his gaze to her and slowly beginning.

"Martha, I have a duty to the universe as the last of my species. There is no one else to do what it is I do. I have to be able to put my own wants, desire and hopes aside in order to make sure that time and space remain stable."

He paused and let those words sink in. Martha, for her part, was listening but this wasn't new information to her. She knew that his identity was tied to being the last of the Time Lords. She was unsure of where this going at first but his next words cleared up some of her confusion and replaced it with a sense of foreboding.

"Lately, though, I feel like I have been distracted from that task. It has become secondary to other things, things I'm not sure I can allow to have that kind of priority."

Martha held his gaze and gave a stiff nod, recognizing now what he was getting at, "So now I'm a distraction? Funny how that works, one moment I'm invisible and the next I'm driving you to distraction."

He took note of her sarcasm and matter of factly replied, "You asked me what was on my mind and I'm trying to tell you. Are you going to hear me out or be sardonic?"

"Well it's kind of hard to listen when you're standing in front of me accusing me of being a disruption to your precious mission?" she shortly fired back.

He exhaled loudly while running his hands through his hair in frustration, "I wasn't accusing . . . It wasn't my intent to blame you."

Martha ran her hands over her face in aggravation and plainly asked, "Then what do you mean?"

"Blimey! It's just that things have become far more complicated then . . . I don't know . . . I just . . ."

Martha, though, cut off his sputtering and backbiting with a raised hand, "How about when you do figure it out you come and find me."

She then turned headed back down the hall before he could ever utter a response.

* * *

It took the Doctor a bit to figure out another way to breech a topic he knew would be hard. He finally found Martha where she often went to think, the TARDIS library. She was gazing at an open book, though it was face down in her lap. He stepped into the doorway and watched for a moment. He recognized what he was about to do would seem out of the blue to her but for him it had been something on his mind since the week he sat with her in that hospital. The Doctor knew he needed to steel himself for what was sure to follow this conversation. Her gaze eventually found its way to the wiry figure studying her in the doorway. Neither spoke for a long while. Their earlier exchange was still heavy on her mind. She could feel the shift in his demeanor more acutely than she had before. He appeared to be pulling away from her again but she wasn't completely sure why.

She now watched as he finally began to make his way further into the room, still never saying a word. When he made it to her side, Martha was so anxious she began to toy with the book resting in her lap. He gave her a faint smile before speaking his first words since arriving, "Alice in Wonderland, eh?"

She glanced down at the title and then back to him, "Yeah, I figured she and I have a few things in common, following impossible beings into fantastical worlds."

She said this with none of her usual mirth or feistiness. He took her comments in stride as he began to lower himself to her side. Martha instinctively scooted over a bit allowing him to join her on the loveseat she occupied. Once they were face to face, she could see in his eyes, not the confident bravado she had come to expect but a cloud of confusion, or possibly turmoil, instead. She knew something was deeply troubling him and hoped that they had grown enough in their time together that he would share that burden for a change.

Finally, cautiously it seemed, he brought a hand to her face and tenderly caressed it as though the most precious thing in the universe. She could not prevent herself from involuntarily closing her eyes and relishing the touch. When she reopened them she found a thoughtful look upon his face.

"Martha . . . Martha Jones. The woman who save her world . . . who saved me. You know I wish I could give you half as much as you've given to others. I wish I could give you everything you want and deserve . . . but the reality is all I have to offer you is this life with the running and the chaos and the danger . . . so much danger."

Martha's own hand was now covering the one resting on her face. As her eyes continued to probe his, she wonder if this could really be what's troubling him so. Guilt? Did he feel like he was keeping her from something better?

Gently she tried to soothe his concern, "Doctor, I'm right where I want to be. Being here with you, living this life is what I want, come what may."

The Doctor exhaled before leaning his forehead in until it rested against hers. He wished so much that he could just embrace that and her and forget about all the reasons why things could never be the way she, and if he was honest with himself he, wanted them to be.

He eventually pulled back and held her gaze as he pushed forward, "I know right now you feel that way but down the line . . . down the line you'll regret not having all the things that humans cherish, a career, a family, the security of a stable life. And I couldn't live with myself if I was the reason someone who has done so much didn't get all those things and more."

Martha narrowed her gaze at him still trying to work out what this was really all about. The whole conversation appeared to be coming out of the blue and the fact that he was pushing the point about normalcy was starting to bother her.

So finally she just asked point blank, "What are you really saying?"

He dropped his hand from her face and sighed loudly, "I'm saying you could have so much more than I could ever give you. You deserve to be a doctor, a wife, a mother and you'll never have any of that here with me."

"Where the hell is this coming from?"

"It's coming from this situation," he began in frustration. He bounded to his feet again and began pacing before her.

"Two months ago I watched you nearly die and today . . ."

Martha broke in, "What about today?"

He ignored her question somewhat and continued on, "The more involved we become the more at risk you will be, Martha. You could lose the opportunity to experience all the things that make humanity human. Can you honestly say you're ready for that reality?"

She finally rose from her perch, setting her book aside. She then stepped in his path and replied, "Yes. I'm not a novice, Doctor. I know that there are dangers involved in what we do but I have faith in my abilities to handle them and faith in you. This is where I choose to be, fighting alongside you. Those other things might be nice for someone else but for me this is where I belong."

He shook his head, "Martha, this is my lot in life but it isn't yours. You can still have a happy, peaceful life back home with your family."

She looked at him incredulously, "Is that what you want, Doctor? For me to leave and embrace normalcy?"

He looked at her intently but didn't respond prompting her to push, "Well, is it?"

"I . . .I just want you to be happy," he finally offered quietly.

Martha closed the small distance between them and looked up into his face earnestly as she gave him a small smile, "I am."

He sighed again and she thought for a moment that would be the end of this nerve racking conversation. The Doctor, though, was like a dog with a bone as he retorted, "You are . . . for now but what about later on, Martha, after you've lost the chance to do all those things that make humans human."

The young doctor had finally grown weary of the conversation and where she now knew it was headed. She fixed him in a firm gaze and simply said, "No."

He looked at her without comprehension initially, "What do you mean? No to what?"

"No, I'm not going to let you use me as an excuse to pull away," she resolutely replied.

He flinched at her intuitive assessment. He had begun to feel that sense of foreboding about things with her shortly after she had come to in the hospital. The whole time she was unconscious, while hoping for her recovery, he was also tormented by thoughts of watching her slowly fade away. If not then, he knew, one day it would happen and once again he would end up alone and in pain. That sentiment refused to dissipate even after she recovered and eventually rejoined him on the TARDIS. His trying to keep her out of harm's way and ultimately having that priest threaten her just made it crystal clear to him . . . this just wasn't going to work. One way or another it would end badly.

Yet before he could even begin to consider vocalizing any of his muddle thoughts, Martha, gently resting her hands on his chest, decisively stated, "If you want me gone then you're going to have to look me in my eyes and say it."

He studied her eyes for another long moment before softly admitting, "I don't want you to go, Martha. Being with you has been the sanest part of my existence at times but this isn't just, or mostly, about what I want. It's about what's best."

The brief sense of relief she felt at him confessing he didn't want her to go fading away just as quickly.

"Best for who?"

"For both of us," he replied.

Her hands soon fell away from his torso and she waited for him to deliver the fatal blow and he did not disappoint, "I need for you to go, for both our sakes."

Martha felt as though she had been physically slapped in the face. He had just asked her to leave, to walk out on the thing she had craved since their first meeting. A part of her never believed he would actually do it but a bigger part taunted her about knowing it would not last. After all, their whole history was one of him constantly jerking her feelings around. Why would this be any different?

The Doctor was studying her, waiting for some kind of reaction. He knew she would be upset and possibly even furious. He would have accepted her anger and even a smack because he also knew how much making this work had meant to her. But as the time appeared to stretch out before them, Martha gave him nothing. She just stood there as if stunned. Then abruptly, she seemed to snap out of her surprise and dispassionately replied, "Fine. You got it."

She then turned and left the library without another word.

Her clipped detached tone and manner was the last thing he expected. It unnerved him so much that it compelled him, after a beat to recover, to follow after her. When he arrived at her bedroom door, there was silence. He was afraid he would find her an emotional mess but as he cautiously pushed her door open, he instead found her already in the midst of packing her bags. Like a machine she went about pulling things from the drawers and placing them in bags.

He was nervous to proceed but felt like he needed to say something comforting, so stepping a bit further into her room, he quietly began, "Martha . . ."

Her attention snapped to him and in a low cool tone she warned, "So help me, if you say you're sorry, I will not be responsible."

He quickly closed his mouth. For another long moment he just stood at her side watching her work until she finally paused long enough sarcastically ask, "Shouldn't you be getting me out of here as soon as possible? I know how distracting I can be."

The look in her eyes told him nothing he said at this point would do any good. So with a heavy sigh, he slightly nodded and turned to leave her alone.

Once he was gone, Martha stopped her ministrations and plopped down on the edge of her bed. She was both furious and heartbroken. One more time, the Doctor had proven to her just how little she mattered to him. She was torn between curling up in a ball right there and crying and throttling him for hurting her once more. Finally, though, she decided that at the very least she deserved the chance to get a few things off her chest before he unceremoniously threw her off his ship. So tossing aside the shirt she had been fondling during her contemplation she exited her room determined to finally have her say.

* * *

**A/N: I was concerned about the sudden shift of emotions. Did it seem believable or was it jarring? Any comments would definitely help me as I edit the next chapter and move forward. Thanks again for reading.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Ha! Look at me, another chapter in less than a week. Thanks so much for your detailed comments. They really helped me clean up this chapter. So without further ado, here's Martha's response. I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 23 . . .

As expected, she found him tooling around the ship's console when she arrived and before he could acknowledge her presence she indignantly spoke, "You have no right to treat me this way."

He looked up startled not only at her sudden presence but also her tone. Her vehemence was apparent. His first thought was to try and calm her, but before he could get a word out she tersely cut him off.

"No, this time you're going to listen to me. You have no right to continually treat me as if I'm something you can just use when it suits you and toss aside when it doesn't. I gave you everything and would have given more but it was never good enough was it?"

She paused as though waiting for a response and the Doctor guiltily looked at her as he offered, "I know it seems that way but could try to see it from my point of view . . ."

Martha icily cut back in, "And that's the problem, it's always about you and your point of view. Your loss, your heart ache, your duty but what about me. I have feelings too, Doctor, but that never seemed to register with you. From the instant I step foot in here you made sure to let me know just where I fit. I never expected you to make me the center of your universe but a bit of basic consideration would have gone a long way. And because I was enthralled with who you were, I stupidly permitted your behavior because I thought . . . I hoped that one day things would change but it's obvious that is never going to happen."

She paused, measuring her words before tackling one of her biggest issues with him, "Either I couldn't measure up to your precious Rose or I was treated as an afterthought next to your best buddy Donna. I don't know if it was because I didn't need you to validate who I was or save me from every little situation but for some reason it was always so easy for you to just disregard my feelings. I need to know why. Why was Martha Jones always made to feel negligible?"

The Doctor noted that her voice seemed to slightly crack with that question. As upset as she was on the surface, and rightly so, he sensed a deeper confusion at his motivations. He knew he'd never been very clear or forward with her but inside he'd known she was far from being irrelevant. Now he needed to find some way to convince her that he did value her.

With a quiet sigh, he earnestly stated, "I know I didn't always do right by you, Martha, but I honestly thought this time things could be different, better. If you don't believe anything else I say to you, know that it was never my intent to hurt you or make you feel less than. I respect who you are and what you do more than I can ever say."

He might as well have said she was a great girl with a nice personality as far as Martha was concerned. She had foolishly allowed herself to fall for him again and here he stood before her patting her on the head like an unruly puppy. It was just too much and she snapped.

With an intense flash of anger, Martha furiously retorted, "Bollocks! I know exactly how much you respect me. So much that you left me to fend for myself in one of the most stellar time periods in human history. While you were living your merry human existence I was treated as dirt on the bottom of someone's shoe. I was talked down to and demeaned not just by people who, as you say, were a product of their time but by someone who I considered a friend. And even after that, all of it, I stayed because . . . honestly I don't know why."

She paused and began to pace, "Then there was 1969, another banner year. Even in your right mind I was never a priority. It was all about you being without your transport. I tried to be understanding and I went out and tried to make things livable but like always you gave me nothing. We were flat mates and I still felt like little more than a bit of furniture to you. I worked a thankless job all day and came home to a small flat and a moody alien but again I stayed because I thought you needed me. How stupid was I?"

"Not stupid . . . just looking after me like always, even when I didn't deserve it," he replied with quiet humility.

Martha stopped her movements and her speech and held his gaze. The look on his face seemed to confirm his tone. He was looking at her as though comprehending her emotions for the first time. Her anger waned some but she remained determined not let his momentary recognition keep her from saying some more things that needed to be said.

So with a soft sigh, she pressed forward, "Yeah but even that didn't garner respect for my feelings. I walked around a flaming earth because you asked me to . . . because you told me it was the only way. I didn't know if it would make any difference, if I could even succeed but because it was necessary and I believed that you had finally realized my value to you I did that. But one more time you proved me wrong. After that arduous trek, seeing so many lives lost, all in your name, you just let me walk away. You didn't even try to dissuade me just watched me go like the second-rate companion you always made me feel like."

He sighed, "How selfish would it have been for me to ask you stay. Your family needed you and like I told you in New York, Martha, I never saw you as second anything."

She shook her head, losing more of her anger. Instead resignation took hold as she replied, "And as I said after Africa, actions, Doctor, actions speak louder than any words you could ever say. All I needed was some sign that I mattered, but time after time your actions told me that I didn't. So either you hurt me knowingly and didn't care or you really have no clue at all which means your claims of being so clever are rubbish."

Martha could see a bit of fire light at her last comment but she didn't give him the chance to respond, holding up a hand, "But it doesn't even matter anymore."

She waited a beat hoping the significance of what she said was sinking in. She needed to make him see, even though she knew it would change nothing, that his behavior towards her was unacceptable. After a few moments of silence, she evenly concluded, "I now get that I will never mean as much to you as Rose or Donna and I'm done beating my head against a wall of memories. I'm done pleading for you to see what has always been right in front of you . . . I'm just done."

And without giving him an opportunity to respond this time she turned and walked back down the hall to finish her task.

* * *

The Doctor's eyes remained glued to the spot she had vacated. He had wanted to reply, defend, and reassure her as she ticked off all the injustices he had done to her in their time together. He knew he had hurt her so much and that on the surface it appeared he had been beyond indifferent to her but inside . . . inside he was hurting too. He hadn't expected to fall so hard for her but he did and letting her go was harder than he imagined. He had meant what he said about not wanting her to leave but if she stayed . . . No, this was for the best.

She would go back to her life and be brilliant and he would continue on as he always did. He had a duty to the universe that he could not afford to shirk. That had to take precedence even over his desires. He sighed again before moving over to the controls. This is the way it had to be.

* * *

Martha managed to complete her packing pretty quickly once she returned to her room. She had only really brought clothes and few pair of shoes aboard. Her other things were still in storage back on earth. So after zipping her two bags up, she paused and took one more long look around the room that had been hers. She closed her eyes to stave off the pain slowly building in her heart. Just months ago she believed this would be her home for keeps but now, as always seemed to be the case in her life, reality had come crashing in on her.

All the promises and the hope of something new and better with the Doctor were just fancy notions. He would rather cling to memories than embrace what could be. Martha refused to stay in his ship and live among ghosts. Once was enough. She realized she deserved better than that. As much as she wanted to be as important to him as he was to her, Martha knew she did not need him at all cost. It would not be easy but she would move past this and him.

Finally she reopened her eyes and composed herself. There was no way she was going to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much this was killing her. She would walk out of here, much as she had the last time, with her head held high. Slowly, she turned to the door and carried the two bags to the door. With one last sorrowful sigh, she reached for the door knob and turned it.

Unfortunately, it appeared the door was now stuck. She tried turning and pulling at it a few more times before swearing in frustration and resting her head against the door. What else can go wrong today she silently wondered? It was just as she began to contemplate how she was going to get out that she felt that familiar nudge in her mind.

The TARDIS seemed to be trying to gain her attention and she briefly thought the ship was trying to help her find her way out. However, when she tried the door again and found it remained bolted, it dawned on her that she was in reality trying to prevent her departure. Martha couldn't fight a small smile as she sighed again and this time looked up at the ceiling.

"This isn't my first choice either, you know. But I can't stay here living in the shadows of those gone. Every time I reach out to him, try to show him a better way, he throws it back in my face. I'm just finally taking the hint. I'm never going to be to him what I want to be."

She paused and rested the palm of her hand on the door and softly lamented, "I have nothing left to give."

A moment later the door clicked and when she reached for and turned the knob this time she was able to walk out. She gave the ship's doorframe a warm caress and softly concluded, "Bye, girl."

* * *

The Doctor was standing at the top of the ramp when she returned to the console room. Martha's initial instinct was to just walk past him without another word but when she saw him standing there, waiting, she realized how she walked away was just as important as the actual leaving. She was Francine's daughter after all. Martha Jones would leave the TARDIS with poise and with her dignity intact. So, toting her two carry-ons with her, she moved to join him. She dropped the bags near her feet before planting herself in front of the resigned Time Lord.

They were both quiet for another moment before Martha softly declared, "I'm not angry, even after everything. I wouldn't trade the time I had here with you for anything. I'm just tired . . . tired of fighting uphill and alone."

The Doctor sighed, "Martha, I wish things could have been different. I wanted . . ." He stopped himself. Saying what he wanted wasn't fair to either of them. It was a fantasy that he recognized now was never viable. He had to let her go.

"It doesn't matter. You'll walk out that door and be the brilliant doctor you were meant to be."

He paused again and his expression appeared to take on a more contemplative look. For an instance, Martha thought he might be wavering but his next words snapped her back to reality, "You'll see this is for the best."

She exhaled and shook her head, "Just leave it, alright? I don't need platitudes. I just need this to be done . . . really done."

Then, as if for emphasis, she reached for the chain that had constantly adorned her neck since she'd known him and unclasped it. Methodically she brought forth, for her, the symbol of a life she never imagined. The Doctor watched with anxious fascination as she handled the key he had given her so long ago. She gazed at it for a long moment before reaching, unexpectedly, for his hand and placing the small piece of metal in his palm.

She then looked back into his eyes and earnestly said, "When I walk out of that door, I need this to be over. No more popping in and out of my life. No more enticing me to come back. No more having my feelings jerked around when it suits you. All I need from you now is your word that you'll stay away."

The Doctor didn't know what he was expecting but not this. She appeared so resolute. She was going to completely cut him out of her life. It felt so final. A part of him, it seemed, was still holding out hope of seeing her again but Martha was effectively closing the door on that notion.

"Martha . . ."

She firmly cut in, "I mean it, Doctor. I can't keep playing this game with you. I have to go and live whatever life it is I can without anticipating you popping into it again, disrupting things. So this is it."

She then reached down for her bags again and gave him one longer look.

The Doctor could not seem to stop himself from reaching out to her, wanting to touch her, hold her one last time but like the day she walked out after Africa, she retreated from his attempt. Backing towards the ramp, she engaged him in a final forlorn gaze as she spoke her final words, "Goodbye, Doctor."

She then quickly turned and continued her trek down and ultimately out the door. He watched her go once again with his hearts breaking all the while.

Martha refused to look back not even when she heard that familiar sound of his ship dematerializing. She just walked until she reached her sister's doorstep. Tish greeted her with surprised interest but Martha was too numb to do anything but walk through the door. Her sister looked at her and then past her, wondering what she was doing back and where the Doctor was.


	24. Chapter 24

**Thanks again for the great comments and continued interest. It's always appreciated.**

Chapter 24 . . .

Once safely back in the Time Vortex, the Doctor slowly shuffled over to the captain's chair and took up residence there. He stared at nothing for a long while, retracing everything that had recently happened and trying to figure out where to go from here. His hearts were aching but he convinced himself that would pass. He'd been here before and had survived. He sighed trying to shake off the already spreading loneliness. Leaning his head back, he gazed up at the ceiling and attempted to commune with his ship, something that always seemed to calm him. The TARDIS, though, seemed less than amenable. His oldest friend seemed as despondent as he felt. They were connected telepathically and he figured she was simply sharing in his sorrow. However, when he tried to communicate to her that he'd back to his usual manic self before too long, the ship suddenly shuttered violently and launched him off his seat and onto the floor.

He tartly started to rise and tersely questioned, "What was that, eh?"

The ship then responded by funneling Martha's words to her into his mind. As he heard the sadness and resignation in her voice his hearts clenched, knowing he had done that to her. He closed his eyes and tried to push down the emotions his ship was evoking. He then sighed and looked up at the ceiling, "I did what was best."

The ship shook again but this time the Doctor had the presence of mind to grasp the console bar tightly.

"She deserves a happy life, a normal life, the kind I can never give her. And I'm a Time Lord, the last of, I don't have the luxury of wistful fantasies."

This time the sentient ship groaned as if to sigh herself. The Doctor shook his head, "She'll be fine, better than fine . . . and so will I. I think we should put some distance between us and earth for a while."

He moved over to the monitor once he was sure the ship would not dump him on his arse again and began to search for an appropriate place.

"Maybe somewhere without humans . . . less chance of more emotional entanglements and all."

He paused and sighed again, "Maybe a planet where emotions are suppressed . . . wonder if anyone on Vulcan would be interested in a trip?"

The ship gave a warning jolt this time, not appreciating his attempt at humor. The Doctor threw up a hand in surrender, "Alright, sorry. When did you get so sensitive?"

The ship gave out another groan and he closed his eyes again, "I know you love Martha . . . so do I and that's why I had to let her go. So she can have the very best life she can."

This time the ship remained calm. He knew she knew there was more to this but having him admit his feelings for Martha seemed to at least soothe if not appease the ancient vessel. The Time Lord caressed his dear friend and softly concluded, "We'll get through this like we always do . . . together."

* * *

Back on earth, Martha had remained tightlipped with her family about why she was no long traveling with the Doctor. She'd been home two weeks and still refused to get into what had brought her back home. When Tish had tried to get her to discuss it, she had threatened to check into a hotel until she could find her own place. So she backed off and watched as her younger sister promptly began throwing herself back into work. She was easily able to get on at the Royal Hope working the late shift in A&E. Her transition back into "normal" life wasn't nearly as smooth. As another couple of weeks went by, it was obvious to everyone around her that she was working herself into exhaustion and then sleeping until her next shift as a way to avoid dealing with whatever had brought her home.

Francine, like Tish, had tried talking to her about it but Martha was adamant that there was nothing to talk about. Unlike her older daughter, however, Francine was unwilling to accept the lie. Martha had been sitting at the kitchen table in her pajamas and robe sipping tea, ignoring her toast and reading the paper late one morning when her peace was interrupted by a knock on the door. She was a bit surprised, as everyone she knew was either at work or sleeping but she gradually rose from her perch and made her way to the door. She used the peephole and was surprised to see her mother on the other side of the door. She sighed quietly, wondering why she wasn't at work before opening the door.

"Mum, what are you doing here?"

"Well, good morning to you too," she smoothly replied.

Martha sighed again, "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting you. Shouldn't you be at work?"

Francine moved past her without reply and Martha closed the door before following. She watched as her mother removed her coat and laid it primly across the back of Tish's couch and added her purse before the older women finally returned her attention to her. Then with no ceremony, she began, "I've seen this before, Martha, and I'm not going to wait until it's too late to intervene this time."

Martha looked at her with complete confusion, "What are you on about?"

"The last time you were in one of these moods, you decided to pop off to America without a word. I'm not going to sit by and wait for that to happen again."

Martha sighed heavily, fully understanding now. She shook her head, "Mum, this isn't the same. I'm not planning to go anywhere. I've just gotten back on at the hospital. Stop worrying."

Francine gaze became more pointed, "I do worry, Martha. You've always been so independent and driven but when it comes to the Doctor and the life you lead with him, it seems you lose perspective on all the other things you are. Now something has happened and it's clear that it has to do with him so talk to me . . . tell me what's happened before it festers and causes you to do something else out of character."

"God, you act like I'm some ticking time bomb! I told you I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, what else do you want from me?" Martha returned in frustration.

"I want the truth. Why are you not still with the Doctor?"

Martha clinched her jaw and rolled her eyes. She hated when her mum got like this because she'd just brow beat her into submission. It was clear she wasn't going to let it go and Martha didn't want to have it continuing to linger over her head so with one more sigh she relented.

"Fine. I'll tell you but after that the subject is closed, got it?"

Francine only nodded this time before taking a seat on the sofa and waiting expectantly. Martha slowly joined her there and began evenly, "He asked me to leave and I did."

Francine furrowed her brow, "He asked you to leave? Whatever for?"

Martha briefly ran that question through her mind. He'd given numerous reasons for why he thought she should go but she sensed there was more behind it. She, though, shook that thought off and chided herself into returning to the present, "He said it was for the best. He wanted me to have the life I deserved with a family and career."

Francine was genuinely stunned, "Really? He said that?"

Martha nodded, "Seems he agrees with you, mum, that I should transform into Betty bloody Crocker and enjoy it."

"Martha . . ." her mother warned with a stern gaze.

Martha sighed again, "Sorry, I'm just . . ."

She rose and shook her head, "I'm just so tired of everyone trying to dictate what my life should or should not be. I've always done what was expected of me. Good old dependable Martha but the one time I reach out for something I want . . . something unexpected . . ."

She stopped and for the first time since she'd returned home, Francine could see her daughter's true emotions. Etched on her comely face was the pain of losing something she held dear. As much as she had fought their pairing, Francine could not stand that look of pain and loss on her child's face.

Then without warning, Martha plopped back down in front of her mother and weakly asked, "What's wrong with me?"

Francine's brow furrowed, "There is nothing wrong with you. Is that what he said?"

Martha quickly shook her head and moved to clarify, "There has to be. I had two great guys who loved me, wanted to spend their lives with just me and I walked away both times. But this one guy who has done nothing but push me away time and time again is the one I never wanted to walk away from. Why do I want things that I just can't have?"

And for the first time since she'd come home, Martha let tears fall. Her mum easily pulled her distressed child into a warm hold and simply rocked her. For a long, comforting moment Martha let her. She'd been so occupied with work and dodging this topic that she hadn't allowed herself the luxury of crying. Now, though, as her mum sat holding her, sharing her burden, she felt safe enough to do just that.

"Sweetheart, sometimes the heart just wants what it wants," her mother softly soothed.

Martha sighed and gently pulled back some from the hold. She looked into her mother's eyes and replied, "Well its rubbish."

Francine gave a somber smile as she wiped a few of the tears from her daughter's face, "Trust me, I know. I know."

This time Martha took over the task, wiping at her eyes and exhaling, "No more. This my reality now and my heart is just going to have to fall into line."

"So you're ready to give up on him?"

Martha rose and sighed, "He gave up first, mum. Now I can either sit around here pining for something that isn't going to happen or I can get on with things. Seeing as I am a Jones' woman I think the answer is pretty obvious."

Francine studied her child for a long while, nowhere near convinced by her declaration but unsure if she should push further right now. She finally decided to offer some words of wisdom as the senior Jones woman. She stood up as well and stated, "I admire your strength and determination. I like to think you got it from me but there's a downside to that. It can cause you push away the things you want and need the most."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were advocating for him," Martha quipped while wiping away the remnants of her moment of vulnerability.

"I'm just saying you shouldn't close any doors unless you completely sure."

Martha exhaled hard, "I am. It's done and you gave your word that if I told you why the topic would be closed."

Francine nodded, "I won't bring it up again."

"Thank you. It's time I get on with things."

Her mum gave her a warm smile, "That's my girl."

The two women shared another embrace before Francine glanced at her watch.

"I better get back to the office but if you need anything. . ."

Martha's smile brightened, "I'm fine, mum, I promise."

"Alright."

The older woman then proceeded to put her coat back on and grabbed her purse before being escorted out. Once she was out on the porch, Francine's reassuring smile vanished. She knew her daughter. As much as they all depended on her for her strength, she also knew even Martha had her limits. She would not easily be able to push past this and, Francine suspected, she didn't really want to. She'd agreed not to bring the subject up again but that didn't mean she couldn't keep an eye on things and she would.


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 25 . . .

Martha stood in the cafeteria line musing about actually eating something or just sticking to her tea when a familiar voice called out to her. She was almost afraid to turn around when she heard her name for a second time. What the hell was she supposed to say to a man she hadn't seen in more than a year . . . a man she had been prepared to marry? She, finally, slowly turned and saw the guy, who for a real moment in time, she thought she'd be spending the rest of her life with.

She was instantly caught in Tom's startling green eyed gaze and smooth, self-assured smile. Martha hadn't seen him since they called it quits and her nerves shot into overdrive at the unexpected reunion. He was still as dashing as ever as he sat at one of the small tables motioning for her to come over. She hesitated briefly but his insistence and demeanor eventually caused her to abandon the food line and cover the short distance to where he sat.

He smiled up at her, causing her to return the gesture, "Dr. Jones. I heard rumors you were back at Royal Hope."

"Yep, here I am," was her guarded response.

"So what are you doing here, if you don't mind me asking? I didn't think you had any intention of ever leaving UNIT."

She sighed quietly. She knew he had to be curious, considering that was one of the main reasons she gave for separating. He wanted her to do civilian work but, at the time, she was entrenched in UNIT and had no desire to leave. What a difference a year makes.

Holding his gaze for a beat longer, she contemplated how to respond to his inquiry. On the one hand it was a simple question but on the other it was way more complex than she could ever explain. She eventually decided to be somewhat forward, "My life just took some unexpected turns and UNIT didn't fit in with it anymore."

He nodded and seemed satisfied to let that explanation stand. He quickly changed the subject to more benign conversation, "So you look good. Everything going alright now?"

Martha gave a thin smile, "I'm surviving. How about you? How's life been treating you?"

Tom's smile brightened, "I can't complain. Work is keeping me pretty busy but I'm doing what I love so it's cool."

Her smile lost some of its tension at his words. She wanted that feeling again, doing something she loves without all the baggage. He studied her expression and could see a bit of melancholy behind her smile. He wondered what was going on her life to cause it but he knew Martha well enough to know pressing her on things she wasn't ready to divulge would only lead to her shutting down.

His eyes trailed to her fidgeting hands, another tell that something else was going on with her. He recognized he was probably the last person she would open up to but even after all they'd been through, he felt the need to reach out to her and so he cautiously offered, "Would you care to join me? I was just having a bit of a break."

Her instinct was to say no thanks. There was still so much history between them and she was unsure if they would have much to talk about that didn't revolve around their failed relationship. One of the things she had always liked about Tom was his directness. He was confident and sure and would always tell it to her straight but also seemed to sense when she needed a gentle touch.

Maybe they could have a simple conversation without it becoming awkward. They had already broken some of the ice and she figured she could always end the conversation if it got too personal. Besides, it had to beat having a break alone in the corner somewhere. It couldn't hurt to have someone to chat with, even if it was an ex.

"Sure. I have some time."

Slowly, Martha eased into the chair across from him and the two doctors proceeded to talk about not much of anything for the next forty minutes. Neither touched on their failed engagement nor delved into their current personal lives. Instead they kept the conversation nice and airy and when Martha's beeper went off she felt more at ease in his presence.

She turned off the contraption and gave him a soft smile as she rose, "I better get back."

He nodded, "Me too. It was good seeing you again, Martha."

"And you."

She was prepared to leave it that way but as she turned and began to make for the door he stopped her.

"Before you go . . ." he began causing her to give him her attention again. "A couple of the other doctors were talking about grabbing some breakfast at that nearby diner after our shift. You should come."

Martha was surprised at the offer but even more so that she was seriously considering it. After their affable chat she felt like she could handle a longer conversation and it would be nice to mingle with more of her colleagues. She studied the handsome young doctor for a long moment before softly concluding, "I just might."

He gave her another warm smile as she then turned and continued on with her duties.

* * *

After her shift and a lot of waffling, Martha took in a deep breath and finally walked through the door of the cozy little diner most of the doctors frequented after late shifts. She had avoided coming here when she first returned because of her preoccupation but also because she wasn't ready to answer any uncomfortable question about what she'd been up to the last few months. Tom's offer, though, came at a good time for her as she was now committed to embracing her life back on earth. What better way to reassimilate than to have food and conversation with associates.

The first thing that hit her upon entering was the tantalizing aroma of grilled food. Immediately her stomach began to rumble, reminding her that she hadn't eaten much the night before. As she began to glance around looking for the others, her attention was caught by Tom waving to her. She smiled and waved back as she made her way to a corner where he and a few other doctors she'd done shifts with had pushed a couple of tables together.

Once she joined them, she was warmly greeted by all with Tom pulling another chair over for her next to him. After the waitress took her order, Martha easily joined in the already rekindled chats. They spoke of current events and some tough cases but mostly they shared anecdote from their late night experiences. Martha could not remember when she laughed so hard or so freely. So much of her time in the past few months had been about trying to make things work with the Doctor that even when they did laugh it felt like it was a treat, something that could happen but shouldn't be expected but here with her fellow doctors. . . fellow humans, laughter was the great leveling agent.

Sure the job they did was arduous, often thankless and sometimes futile but the ability to leave it behind once you'd done all you could was something she thought was amazingly human, especially after so much time with the Doctor, who seemed to take every lose or defeat with him. She knew what he did and what she did was not actually analogous but still . . . life without laughter was not a life worth living in her mind. And so Martha Jones indulged in the merrymaking going on around her and absorbed the feeling of doing something so normal and convincing herself that this is what she should want.

Hours later, when the group finally began to disperse, she felt as lighthearted as she had since being back home. She and Tom walked out together and after some final goodbyes to the others, they stood alone outside the restaurant. Neither spoke for a long while, before Tom smiled down at her and said, "I'm really glad you came."

She returned his beam, "So am I. It was good to unwind."

"Yeah, I got the sense last night that you were a bit down."

Martha initially thought to counter his assessment but realized that another of the things she had always loved about Tom was that he seemed to be in tune with her feelings. It was both a blessing and a curse at time but right now it felt nice to not have to wear a mask.

"It's just taking me a little while to get readjusted to civilian life," she finally offered.

He nodded, "I'm sure the A&E is not as exciting as you're used to but you'll do a lot of good there."

She gave a modest smile, "Thanks. I hope so."

He sighed and glanced about some before finding her eyes again, "Well I guess we both better be off. Have to be back at it tonight."

"Yeah, no rest for the wicked?" she teased with a raised brow.

He chuckled, "Something like that. So maybe I'll see you again. I'm actually covering for another doctor for the rest of the week. If our breaks coincide . . . maybe we could chat some more."

Martha studied him for a long moment. She knew this could be a bad idea. She was basically on the rebound and they had a history. There was every chance that this could become a repeat of past mistakes but the pull of something familiar was so strong. Martha steadied herself, pushing aside those thoughts. She was capable of spending time with him without it becoming something more. After all they were both doctors with interest beyond romantics. So trying to balance her concerns about complication and her yearning for something comfortable she offered him another warm smile and replied, "Maybe."

* * *

That may be turned into a standing appointment in the hospital cafeteria. The two former lovers shared bad hospital food, lukewarm tea and surprisingly good conversation considering that neither brought up their breakup. They instead focused on work and family and even some of the better times they shared together. For Martha it was like chatting with an old dear friend while for Tom it was like having the Martha that he fell for back in his life. The week went by fast but that only gave them the opportunity to expand the locale of their meetings.

Martha had been reluctant at first to move to some place other than the hospital. For her the cozy café in the hospital was something of a safety blanket. Their interactions were set within a controlled environment and had a limit imposed by their schedules but slowly, Tom began to convince her that they could spend time away from the Royal Hope without changing the atmosphere of friendship they had already fostered. She was aware the path they were on could lead to something more than she was ready for but Tom's assurances that he could handle them just being friends ultimately convinced her.

Things began simply enough. Usually after her shift he would meet her at a coffee shop near her neighborhood and share some tea and conversation about their respective shifts. However, as she was finding more and more, her best laid plans rarely went according to her design. Before she could even think about stopping or slowing down the momentum, she and Tom were spending more and more time together. They went from friendly cups of tea to catching movies on her nights off or hanging out in pubs, playing darts or pool. She was constantly fighting to remind herself that all she could handle was a friend.

She was still trying to readjust to life back on earth and even as she attempted to convince her family she was over the Doctor, she knew she was nowhere near there yet. The last thing she wanted was to use Tom as a stand in again, not after her own experiences. He, though, remained persistent, assuring her that simply spending time with her was enough. Martha wanted to believe that things were good and uncomplicated even as she occasionally caught glimpses of him watching her with the look of longing that she once cherished from him.

Martha, however, wasn't the only one noticing the change in the interactions between the two doctors. Her sister and mother continued to be concerned about her. It had only been two month since she'd returned home and neither knew the full story of why. The Doctor just seemed to drop off Martha's radar and now Tom was back in the mix. Both knew Martha well enough to know she didn't bounce from one guy to the next and that the thing with the Doctor had a tendency to make her less than practical. Tish had been trying to get information out of her about this thing with Tom but Martha brushed it off by saying they were just two friends enjoying spending time together.

Francine, though, had seen enough. No matter what her daughter said, she could see she was headed down a familiar path of pain and devastation. As much as she wanted her here on earth and safe, she could not, in good conscious, sit by and watch Martha settle if she did not have to. She knew what she was contemplating would probably not go over well with either of them but she figured if it helped them sit down and clear things up it would be worth it.


	26. Chapter 26

**Thanks so much for all the great reviews and the continued interest in my story. Here's a short but important chapter. Enjoy!**

Chapter 26 . . .

Meanwhile, back on the TARDIS, the Doctor had spent the past couple of months bounding around from place to place. He was constantly moving, his ship recognized, as a means to pretend that he was not hurting by how things had turned out with he and Martha. His ship, though, knew better. Not only could she sense his true moods but she had observed him since Martha walked out. Little of the joyful glee he once had about everything was present now. He hadn't even considered bringing another companion on board and she watched as he moped around the corridors whenever they weren't dashing to a specific place. She noticed how he'd often look about or speak about something until he realized there was no one there. He had also taken to walking a bit slower past Martha's old room and more often than he would ever admit to, he would study the photo the pair had taken on the top of the Empire State building in New York.

It was as though he had lost his best friend and in reality he had. Martha was as loyal and faithful as any of his other companions. Even more so considering how much baggage he had been toting around when she came on the scene. She dealt with his gruff, insensitive behavior constantly but would not walk away. She would challenge him when needed it but also knew when to back off. She sacrificed time and time again for him all the time knowing, or believing, that he would never give her more than he was. The TARDIS sensed that he had only now realized how much he had taken that, and Martha, for granted. Now that the young medic had finally had enough of playing second and third fiddle, of his abrupt shifts in demeanors, did he finally recognize how important she had become to his life. The ship watched all of this transpire, waiting for her moment. Like Martha, she knew it was all about timing with the Time Lord.

She finally decided, after another trip that ended with him staring blankly into space while floating in the Time Vortex, to put him out of his misery and gently touched his mind.

"_How long are you going to continue this way?"_

_He sighed in his mind, "Don't. I'm fine."_

"_I'm not one of your companions, Doctor. I know the truth. I know you."_

"_Just leave it."_

"_Why? It's obvious you can't. You miss her, admit it."_

"_I did what was best for both of us," he defended._

_The ship sighed this time, "You keep saying that but I don't know how being miserable is best for either of you."_

"_I'm not miserable and I doubt Martha is either. We tried. It didn't work. Now drop it."_

"_Not until you face the facts."_

"_What facts?" he replied in an almost bored tone._

"_That you let Martha go, not because it was what was best but because you were scared . . . terrified of what she made you feel," the ship firmly countered._

_That accusation had the Time Lord on his feet and forcefully replying, "That's enough! If you know me so well then you know there's very little in this universe that "terrifies" me."_

"_Except having someone get so close that you begin to depend on them. I've seen this show before, Doctor. I've seen you begin to let someone in only to stop yourself all because of fear . . . the fear that they would matter too much. But with Martha I thought you had finally found someone you would be willing to let share some of that burden but the fear was just too much for you to overlook."_

_She paused giving him the chance to deny it but when he only stared forward defiantly she continued, "How long are you planning to go on denying yourself any extended happiness?" _

_The Doctor groaned with frustration, "For the rest of my lives if needs be."_

_The ship joined him in exasperation, "Why?"_

"_Because I don't deserve it! I don't deserve the kind of loyalty Martha has given me. I don't deserve to have the kind of happiness she could bring . . . not after what I've done."_

_He paused and sighed, "I condemned my whole species to extinction. I committed genocide against my own people. And my punishment for that is to carry the burden as last of my kind. I have a whole universe to look after because of my actions. I lost the option to get a happy ending the moment I pressed that button."_

"_So what? You intend to do your penance by denying yourself someone who loves you and who you love?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Then it will be lives wasted. No matter how much you regret what happened, we both know it cannot be changed. No amount of penitence can alter the past but at least, with Martha, you have a chance at a brighter present and future. It's not fair for you to penalize yourself, and her, for a situation that was not of your making and an action that was your only option."  
_

Rationally, he knew his friend was right. If he'd done nothing the whole universe would have been lost but still . . . How he could he go on with a merry existence when Gallifrey and everyone on it was gone by his hand? Before he could even begin to respond to her words, he was startled from his thoughts by a familiar ringing.

He reached across the console for the silver contraption and, in spite of all he and the TARDIS had just shared, he briefly let hope slip in. He knew it was a very unlikely Martha was calling since she made it clear she wanted no contact between them but until he flipped it open and his eyes found the id, he had a reprieve from his grim thoughts. That hope quickly turned to bewilderment as he studied the name glaring at him. Mum.

Why in the world would Francine be calling him? A few ideas rapidly raced through his mind. To tell him off for hurting her daughter again . . . to gloat . . . or maybe she thought she was dialing Martha. He thought about just ignoring it before another, more ominous, thought seized him. What if something had happened to her? He'd only assumed that Martha would go back to the hospital but what if she rejoined UNIT, just to spite him, or Torchwood for that matter?

As the device continued to chirp away, the Doctor finally let the sudden anxiety at all the less than desirable possibilities finally guide his finger to the talk button. He pressed gingerly and tentatively brought it to his ear, "Mrs. Jones, what can I do for you?"

Francine didn't respond right away, which instantly put him on alert.

"Is everything alright?"

The older woman seemed to finally find her voice and hesitantly begin, "Doctor, it's about Martha."

He promptly cut in, "Where is she? What's happened?"

The worry in his voice could not be masked nor was he interested in trying to hide it. Francine sighed into the receiver as though trying to find the right words before eventually being very blunt, "Can you come back to earth?"

His sense of dread only grew with her lack of explanation and stilted tone, "You need to tell me what's happened. Is she hurt?"

"It's not something to talk about over the phone. Will you please come?"she replied.

He was officially alarmed and abruptly replied, "I'm on my way. Where are you?"

"Come to my house. I'll be waiting," was her response before the phone clicked down.

Moments later the Doctor was busy setting the coordinated back to earth and London. He felt the TARDIS's worry and softly tried to soothe both the ship and himself, "She's going to be fine."

* * *

Francine felt a twinge of guilt at letting him think something was wrong with her daughter but her gambit had gotten him to agree to come. Besides, she hadn't been completely dishonest. Martha was hurt, even if it was emotionally instead of physically. She needed to know if this thing with her daughter and the Time Lord was really over. If his tone over the phone was any indication, it was apparent there was still something there. Francine briefly recalled the scene just a few months ago at Martha's bedside in Cardiff.

When he thought no one was watching, when it was just him and her daughter, the Doctor looked like a man afraid of losing something dear. She needed to know if that vision was genuine. She was aware both he and Martha would think her mad. After all, wasn't this what she had always wanted, him away from her daughter? Francine, though, had grudgingly begun to accept over the months her daughter had been with him that they were good for each other. Martha was never as happy or radiant as when she was with him and the Doctor seemed less frenzied in her daughter's presence. Now she needed to figure out, quickly, how to approach him and get him, and ultimately her as well, to realize they were much better off together than apart.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27 . . .

Martha stood in her sister's spare bathroom gazing at herself in the mirror over the sink. She had just put on a light sheen of lip gloss and was now primping her loose locks again. Even as she reminded herself this was going no further than dinner, she couldn't fight back the butterflies that now danced in her stomach. Once again she found herself as the object of Tom Milligan's affections and once again, she knew it had the potential to end in heartache for the both of them. He was a good man, a man who didn't deserve to have his emotions toyed with any more than she did.

At the same time, she could not help but want to be a bit selfish. It felt good to have this handsome, brilliant man going to such lengths to gain her favor even after how it ended the last time. After constantly having her heart shredded by the Doctor, knowing someone thought she was worth the effort made her feel something she rarely felt with him . . . favored. She allowed a small smile to play on her lips as her mind briefly drifted back to how Tom had finally persuaded her to have dinner with him.

* * *

"_So what do you say we raise the stakes for this round?" Tom asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. _

_The duo had been hanging out at a local pub, having a few drinks and joking around when the pool table became free. He asked if she was up for a game and Martha followed him to the table. After the first game, which she'd won and proceeded to playfully taunt him about, he became determined to 'even the score' with her. _

_Intrigued, Martha asked with a playful lilt, "What did you have in mind, Dr. Milligan?"_

_His smile broadened, "You first. What would make the game more interesting for you?"_

_She paused, tapping her lip as if in deep thought on the matter before her own grin expanded and with an impish glee, she boldly answered, "If I win, you shave your beard and mustache." _

_He smiled and shook his head not at the request but at her bringing it up. This was not the first time she had asked it of him, the other being when they were engaged. Martha recalled wanting everything perfect including the pictures. She convinced him that he would regret not letting his handsome face be fully seen. She had known he would do whatever she wanted but made a big deal about how the pictures would be forever anyway. He pretended to be reluctant, he claimed, only to see the little pout she would get on her face when she wanted to have her way. She had gotten so caught in the memory that she nearly missed his counter offer . . . almost. _

"_Alright but if I win, you let me take you out on a proper date." _

_That suggestion sobered Martha immediately. She knew she'd been playing with fire but now it was about burn her. She quietly sighed, "Tom, I thought we agreed this was just about hanging out. Remember, nothing heavy?"_

"_And it still is. What's the big deal? You have to eat and so do I. What's wrong with us doing it together in fancier duds?" _

_Martha hesitated again. He was making it sound so logical but she couldn't help but think they were heading down a path that would end badly. Tom, though, was not to be dissuaded and decided to switch tactics and play on her competitive instincts. _

"_Or is it that you're afraid that I'll cream you in the next game?" _

_She recognized what he was doing and, surprisingly, she let him do it._

_With mock indignation she retorted, "You're in for it now, mister. Let's do this." _

_He answered with a smile and began to rack up the balls again. The game became very serious with both playing their best but in the end Tom had the opportunity to win if he could sink one of the easiest shots ever. Martha tried to distract him leaning in near him as he sized up his shot. Her presence hovering near him would usually be enough to distract him but he was motivated so Martha softly whispered near his ear, "You know they say the easiest shots are the hardest." _

_He turned his head slightly causing their faces to be only inches apart and smartly replied to her attempt to sike him out, "Then it's a good thing I like a challenge." _

_And with that he turned and easily sank his shot._

* * *

She drifted from her thoughts and gave herself another small smile before finally stepping out to wait for Tom to arrive. The second she entered the living room, Tish pounced.

"Well, don't you look stunning? All this for a friend, eh?"

Martha rolled her eyes in exasperation as she stole another quick glance at her ensemble. What she was wearing wasn't that spectacular. A slightly above the knee length A-line black skirt with a deep blue silk ¾ length sleeve buttoned top and knee length black boots. She knew her sister was just trying to get her riled up. She'd been badgering her from day one about all the time she had been spending with Tom. Martha tried to convince her that it was nothing serious but Tish remained unconvinced.

It was Tish's skepticism then and now that was agitating her most. Like she knew Martha's mind better than she did. Tish had even tried to bring up what or who she thought this was really about but Martha always cut her off before she could ever get started. The Doctor and any talk of him was off limits as far she was concerned. He made his choice and she was dealing with it. The last thing she wanted was to have her sister bringing him up right before she went out with Tom. So attempting to remain calm and not have the evening ruined before it even began, she evenly replied, "He is a friend, Tish. Just a friend and we're just going out for a bite to eat."

Tish was remained unimpressed with her sister's assertion, "Does Tom know that he's just a friend or for that fact does he know that not too long ago you were jetting across all of time and space with another bloke?"

"No he does not because it doesn't concern him just like it doesn't concern you. That part of my life is over and I would appreciate it if you'd drop it," Martha coolly replied.

Tish raised a brow and sardonically replied, "Well excuse me. After all I am only your big sister who has watched you bounce between these two guys before and seen you through the aftermath. I'll just butt out and pretend not to care."

Martha sighed, noting the sarcasm. It was true that her sister had held her hand through all her drama with both the Doctor and Tom and even now she was letting her stay in her home. She hadn't meant to be so coarse but simply wished everyone would quite riding her so much about her choices. Martha moved closer to her older sibling, who sat studying her from the sofa, and ultimately shifted back into her peacemaker mode and softened her tone.

"Tish, I appreciate all you've done for me. I do. But I need for you to respect the fact that I'm a grown up and can handle my own life. Tom and I have fun together. He makes me laugh and has made this transition ten times easier. I'm not planning on running off with him and eloping. So if that is what's got you and mum worried, don't. We're just getting reacquainted."

Tish continued studying her baby sis for a long moment. She was more certain than ever this was more about her trying to forget the Doctor than being with Tom but without knowing exactly what had pushed her and the Doctor apart she didn't feel like she could press further.

"Alright, I'll leave it . . . for now."

Martha knew that was the best she was going to get so she gave her sister a bright smile and said thanks just before there was a knock at the door. The two sisters shared another quick smile before Martha walked to the door and opened it to the dashing Dr. Tom Milligan only to be surprised into silence.

"Good evening, Martha. You look amazing."

A nervous smile grew as she noticed immediately that he was clean shaven. He'd gone through with her side of the bet even though he'd won. She was stunned and as she stood gaping for longer than she realized his smile bloomed, "So what do you think? I have to admit my face is pretty cold but the look on yours almost makes it worth it."

Martha finally snapped out of her stupor and held his gaze, "Tom, you shouldn't have . . . you didn't have to do that. I wouldn't have made you even if I had won."

His smile grew, "I'm no welcher, besides I'd been thinking about trying something new anyway. This gave me the opportunity."

Martha just shook her head unsure of what to think or say about this turn of events. Thankfully, Tish became impatient about being ignored and cleared her throat bring both their attentions to her.

"Hi Tom. Long time, no see."

He gave her a smaller smile, "It's been a long time, Tish. How are you?"

She shrugged her shoulders as she looked between the two and replied, "I'm good and you?"

"Good . . . great in fact," he returned while glancing back at her sister.

Martha was beginning to sense her sister gearing up for the third degree so she quickly put an end to the pleasantries, "We better get going. We don't want to lose our reservation."

She then quickly retrieved her coat and Tom easily helped her into it before the pair made for the door. However before they could make it out, Tish stopped them once more with what appeared to be an innocent inquiry, "So where are you two headed?"

Tom quickly tossed out, "That little R&B club and restaurant downtown, Grayson's."

Martha continued to usher him out as she shot her sister a quick glance, "Don't wait up?"

Tish easily replied, "Do I ever?"

Martha shook her head before stepping out and closing the door.

Once the pair was out in the evening air she exhaled garnering his attention.

"You OK?"

She looked up at his handsome, now smooth face, and softly replied, "Yeah . . . I'm good."

He smiled at her response, "Then let's say we go enjoy our evening."

He held out his arm and for brief instant she recalled the way the Doctor would always do the same when they were about to stroll off somewhere or somewhen. Quickly, though, she pushed that thought aside. He was somewhere in time and space living his life and she was doing the same back here on earth. Her smile brightened as she accepted her newest companion's arm, "Let's."


	28. Chapter 28

**Once again, thanks so much for you awesome reviews and continued interest in my fic. You're so appreciated.**

Chapter 28 . . .

The Doctor arrived at the Jones house and was immediately greeted by a solemn Francine. Her look alone caused his anxiety to grow and he glanced around her as he spoke, "Where is she? What's happened?"

Francine knew she had to let him in on her true motives for bringing him here. She stepped aside and allowed him entry before closing her door and slowly answering his concern, "You tell me. Two months ago my daughter came home and proceeded to act as if you never existed. So what changed?"

The Doctor was vexed. He narrowed his eyes at the mother of his companion . . . former companion and sternly prodded, "Mrs. Jones, I'm going to ask you one last time, where is Martha?"

"Probably at her sister's. It's her night off," her mother returned rather nonchalantly.

The Time Lord's gaze hardened as he realized he had been had, "You said she was hurt."

Francine undeterred by the daggers he was now throwing her way firmly replied, "Actually I didn't. You assumed but FYI, she is. Deeply. And I have a strong feeling you're behind it."

"I can't believe you brought me here under false pretenses. I thought . . ." He paused trying to banish all the horrible ideas he had conjured up before looking back to her and sharply concluding, "You had no right."

"When it comes to my children I have every right. When I see my daughter once again devastated apparently because of something you did to her, I have every right. Now tell my why you left her here."

"Or else what?" he coolly fired back.

Francine raised an eyebrow before taking a step closer to the alien and frigidly returning, "Or you will have confirmed everything I ever said to her about you."

Surprisingly, that statement had a deep impact on the Time Lord. He knew that the woman before him held a low opinion of him and could even understand it. Ever since he came into her daughter's life, there had been no shortage of upheaval and pain. But nestled in there were also genuine moments of joy and serenity and no matter what else happened, he refused to let anyone say that Martha didn't matter to him. So with a quiet exhale and less antagonism he replied to her declaration.

"Mrs. Jones, whatever you may think of me, I care about Martha and I did what I felt was best. That being said, what happened between us will stay between us. If she chose not to share it then I certainly won't be."

She wasn't surprised by his verbal response but was intrigued by his physical reaction to her prior statement. It didn't escape her notice that he stiffened when she implied that Martha was little more than a diversion to him. He obviously had an emotional investment in Martha. Now she just needed to get him to acknowledge it.

"Do you know what she's been doing since she's been back? She's been working herself into exhaustion at the hospital only to come back home and pass out until her next shift. She's been very closed off and refuses to talk about why. She's clearly not taking things very well. Is that the life you want for her?"

Francine knew there was more going on than she was saying, with Martha becoming more involved with Tom, but her first priority was to get the Doctor engaged enough to talk.

The Doctor exhaled. He had been trying to convince himself since the moment she walked out that he was doing the right thing . . . the best thing but a part of him knew it wouldn't be easy for her to pick up where she left off back on earth. He hated the idea of her being in distress but he was so muddle with his own emotions he didn't know what to do for her.

"I know you're concerned but we both know Martha is tough. She'll pull herself out of this eventually and move forward."

Francine shook her head, "And that's good enough for you is it? You could just leave her to wallow in her pain and hurt when you have the power to stop it?"

The Doctor studied her intently before asking, "What is it you think I can do?"

"Be there for her . . . show her how much you do care," she emotionally replied.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. This was the same Francine Jones who had warned him away from her daughter the first time they met. The same Francine Jones who had cringed when that same daughter decided to rejoin him in his travels. Now she stood before him, sounding as though she wanted him to fight to keep Martha in his life. It was a bit surreal. Yet he didn't yield.

"I can't."

"Can't or won't?" she pressed.

The Doctor exhaled sharply, "I can't."

"Why not?"

Usually he hated being pressured into sharing things he did not want to but as the mature women intently waited for a reply, he found words slipping from his mouth that he couldn't even admit to his closet friend moments before.

"Because . . . with Martha, a little has a way of growing into a lot. I end up doing things I never thought I would and wanting to do more than I can. It's like I can't do things part way and not having that control is overwhelming to someone like me. I could do things . . . things I can't afford to do because of how I feel about her," he quietly confessed.

She looked at him for the first time with something close to sympathy, "So you're frightened of what you feel?"

He didn't confirm or deny her assessment only held her gaze. Francine for her part knew the answer and persisted.

"Has she asked you to break any rules? I mean travel back in time to change something? Let her change something about her past? Place another planet in peril to protect her?" she randomly asked.

The Doctor furrowed his brow, "Of course not. Martha's not that kind of person. She would never ask me to do something she knew I could not."

"And I dare to bet that she would stop you if you tried," she added.

He couldn't stop a small smile from coming to his lips, "Always."

Francine sighed, "Then I don't see the problem. Caring about someone is not something to be controlled. It's something to embrace and enjoy. What's so wrong with having someone with you who understands what you have to do and is willing to help you do it?"

He also sighed, "It's not that simple."

"It is, Doctor. It is if you just open yourself to it. Life is too damn short to live it alone, especially when you don't have to."

He swallowed hard. She had hit another nerve. The fact that life, especially human life, was just too short stood as another stumbling block for he and Martha. The thought of putting his hearts in the hand of someone who he would inevitably lose was never far from his mind.

Quietly, he responded, "You have no idea. Compared to my life span, human life is like a candle in the wind. Eventually I'll lose her, like I have lost everything else and I just can't deal with that."

Francine shook her head, "So you're telling me you're willing to sacrifice any happiness you could have with my daughter for what might come later?"

"What will happen eventually."

"I know you're supposed to be from a more "advanced" race but I think we humans have you beat in one sense . . . we know that nothing is permanent and live in spite of that knowledge."

She paused and studied the now silent Time Lord before going on, "As humans we know we only have a short time to live and love and take advantage of all life has to offer. We know it can be gone in a heartbeat which is why we love so hard and passionately. We don't always do it well but even the bad experiences are experiences worth having. The trick is making sure the good outweighs the bad."

She stopped again and moved a bit closer to him as she earnestly concluded, "You have to embrace the things you need and desire and cherish them for as long as you can so that when the time comes to part all the good memories you've created will overrule the sadness of the loss. Don't let the ending dictate the journey. That won't be fair to either of you."

He again examined the woman who had been one of the principal obstacles to what he and Martha were trying to build now trying to convince him they could make things work.

"Why are you doing this? I know you have never been very fond of me. I thought you of all people would be happy to have Martha home, safe and away from me."

She gave the first hint of a smile, as strained as it appeared, and softly mused, "It's true I've always been concerned about your relationship with my daughter but it was more about what you represented than you personally. She changed when she met you, doing things we never expected her to, and I wasn't ready for that."

The Doctor raised a brow and skeptically retorted, "And now you are?"

"There comes a point, when you have kids, that their wants and needs take precedence over your own. The fact is my daughter adores you and right now she is hurting because she can't be with you. Anything I can do to take away that hurt, I will do. So my question to you is, are you willing to do the same?"

The Doctor was completely at a loss. He'd seen an impassioned Francine before but instead of being the target of her ire he was overwhelmed by her present gentleness. She, like his ship, had urged him to embrace something he already wanted and not worry about what may come.

In his mind it made complete sense but visions of past losses continued to make him hesitate. All he wanted was to have all of space and time before him and Martha at his side to share it. Yet could he really let go of all the anxiety, pain and loss he had caused and endured and reach for it?

Francine could sense that he was wavering and decided to be blunt.

"Do you want her back in your life?"

His eyes found hers and before his brain could have the chance to stop him he squeaked out a quiet, "Yes."

Francine studied him for a moment before declaring, "Then go to her and make things right."

He shook his head, "She doesn't want to see me. She asked me to stay away."

Francine smiled again and this time did something even more unexpected. She placed a comforting hand on his face and answered, "I know my daughter. She can be stubborn, kinda like her mum, but if you're sincere, she'll come round."

He could see the certainty in the older woman's deep brown eyes and found himself desperately wanting to believe she was right, that he could do his duty and have something deeper with Martha. He held her gaze and quietly exhaled.

"Alright . . . I'll try."

Francine offered a relaxed smile which the Time Lord slowly returned before retreating from her touch. A long overdue understanding passed between the pair before he prepared to go.

Francine turned to watch him leave only to stop him before he could fully retreat.

"Doctor?"

He paused just inside the door and turned back to her.

"Take care of her."

He gave her a quick nod before continuing his trek, closing the door behind him.

Inside, Francine knew she had done the right thing but her apprehension did not fully dissipate. She wanted her daughter happy and if the Doctor succeeded in mission, she would have to come to terms with the idea that her baby girl would be gone again.


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey all, thanks for all the love in review and alerting form. I truly appreciate it all. Because it's been a bit since I have posted, here's a longer one. There's alot going on in it so let me know if it works and as always enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own neither the Dr. Who characters portrayed or the lyrics herein.**

Chapter 29 . . .

The club was cozy and packed for a weeknight but neither Tom nor Martha seemed to notice. There was good music playing, nice conversation happening all around them and delicious food before them yet neither appeared to be enjoying the atmosphere. Tom was studying his distracted dinner date over his beer glass while Martha played with her food more than she ate it. The moment she walked in the club, she knew this was a mistake. Actually the second Tom arrived at her door clean shaven she knew.

The looks he had been tossing her as well as his surprise grooming told her he was a man on a mission. A mission she had encouraged even as she knew her heart still resided elsewhere. Inside, she knew this could happen but she tried to convince herself that she could handle it . . . that she and Tom could be just friends. Their history, though, she now realized would always be a hindrance to that. Just as her love for the Doctor would always taint her love for anyone else. He, though, had decided for both of them that they had no future. One day soon she would have to accept that and move forward with someone who could see a future with her but she did not believe Tom was that someone. She would have to find some way to make that clear without hurting him more.

"It's not really that bad is it?" he finally half-jokingly half seriously inquired.

Martha started from her thoughts and found herself trapped in his gaze, "I'm sorry. What?"

He gave her a long look before continuing, "Being here with me . . . it's not that awful is it?"

"Of course not . . . I'm sorry. My mind was just wandering," she quietly replied.

Tom though appeared unimpressed with her response, "Are you sure that's all it is? You've barely touched your food or said more than a few words."

She sighed but didn't speak right away. As they silently stared at each other, Martha had an internal battle. She could put on a smile and try to convince him things were fine, as she was prone to do, or she could begin letting him down gently but felt considering all the trouble he went through, she owed him at least a nice evening before that chat. When he reached across the table and gently covered one of hands, she glanced at the coupling before finding his emerald eyes again and deciding on a frank conversation about everything.

"What are you doing here?"

He furrowed his brow and calmly replied, "Well, I thought we were having dinner and a bit of fun but . . ."

She cut him off softly but abruptly, "No, I mean why are you here with me, Tom? After everything that's happened between us, why?"

Martha knew him well and could see him gearing up to offer some trite response like being a sucker for a pretty face so she trained her face into a demeanor that conveyed she was expecting an earnest reply. And so, lightly squeezing her hand, he gave her one, "Because I realized, not long after you walked away, that I was an idiot. I recognized that I let the most amazing woman I had ever known leave because I was trying to change the very things that made her so amazing."

Martha looked at him, flabbergasted. She never blamed him for feeling like he did. Why shouldn't he expect his wife to settle down and start a family? But hearing him shoulder some of the blame for their breakup disarmed her a bit.

Modestly, she returned, "Amazing? That isn't the word I'd use. I wasn't very clever either back then."

He steadily held her gaze. "No . . . I think amazing is the right word."

He paused and studied her for a brief instance before continuing, "I think we can both agree your life hasn't followed a ordinary course yet in spite of all the things you've seen and done your independence, strength and loyalty are amazing qualities that endured it all. And the more time I had to think on it, I understood that what I was asking of you wasn't fair. I was trying to make you ordinary when you were anything but. I should have just appreciated who you were instead of trying to change you into something else."

Martha held his gaze. His words hit her on so many levels that she was finding it hard to process. It meant so much to her that he was being so generous about their past but even as she knew the words were intended as concession to her they made her reluctant to accept them.

"We both made mistakes back then. I wasn't fair to you either. I held myself back from you even as you loved and cared for me because I just couldn't let go of the life I lead before you. I hid behind my job at UNIT."

"Hid?"

Martha resisted the urge to say another of the Doctor's favorite phrases, it's complicated. She felt she owed Tom as much honesty as she could muster after everything.

"I kept you close enough so that you would stay but far enough away that I wouldn't get burnt again."

She paused this time and measured how to answer the confusion now etched on his face. With a quiet sigh, she finally decided to just dive in, "I didn't tell you everything about my time before with the Doctor . . . or recently."

Tom's eyes widened at her admission. It was obvious from his expression he was concerned about what else she was about to reveal. She might not have told him everything but she told him plenty. About their adventures, about their relationship, how they often saved each other's lives. The way Martha spoke of him it was clear she revered him. And she knew a part of him, no matter how much he tried to pretend, was always a bit jealous of the look she got in her eye when she talked about him.

He seemed to regain himself and attempted to avoid her going further, "Martha, you don't have to . . ."

She instantly retorted, "Yes I do, Tom. I owe you that much. I know when we talked about my time with him, I always talked about how great things were but the reality was something totally different. There were good times for sure but the reason I walked away was less about my studies and more about realizing what I felt for him was one sided. The whole time I traveled with him back then, all I wanted was for him to want me but he was so heartsick over his previous companion that he never gave me a second look. Time and time again I put my feelings out there and every time he stomped over them. It took a year of seeing the world burn to make me realize I had to move on before I lost myself completely."

She paused and sighed again, affording him the chance to interject, "If it was so hard, why go back?"

"He made me think . . ." She hesitated, refusing to play the blame game. Yes, the Doctor had given her hope of something more but she made the choice to believe in it. Cautiously she started again, "I guess a part of me never gave up on the possibility."

"But it didn't work out this time either?"

She shook her head, "I know it was daft but I thought this time things could be different. I was wrong."

Tom only nodded this time while Martha took a quick glance around the club, thinking. _All these happy people enjoying their evening and she'd just dumped all over theirs._

Her eyes finally sought his out again and she gently began, "I'm sorry, Tom. For then and now. You deserve better than what you've gotten from me. I don't even know why I do half the things I do anymore but the last thing I wanted to do was drag you into my drama again."

Martha sighed heavily as he remained quiet, "I'm really, really sorry."

When he continued his own silent musings, she began to believe that maybe it was time to cut both their losses and call it a night. But as she began to push herself away from the table, Tom refused to relinquish her hand, preventing her from rising.

He finally, softly spoke again, "Martha, you've got nothing to be sorry for. Like you said we both made mistakes. I think I have learned from mine. I won't push for more than you're ready to give. Just let me be here and I promise to wait on you."

"I can't ask that of you. I wouldn't," she resolutely retorted.

"I'm a patient man. I don't know what happened between you and the Doctor and I don't care. All I know is if he was barmy enough to let you go again, it is his loss and, hopefully, can be my gain."

Martha was overwhelmed. Her gazed trailed from his eyes down to their adjoined hands and then back. What they hell was wrong with her? Why couldn't she feel for this man what she did for the one who did nothing but continue to hurt her? A part of her always knew she would never be anything but a replacement to the Doctor. But Tom . . . he had always made her feel like the only one. Why couldn't she embrace that truth? Her mother's words chose that moment to float through her mind. _Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. _

She needed a moment alone. Slowly she regained herself enough to remove her hand from his and unsteadily spoke, "I need to use the bathroom."

She could tell he wasn't expecting that response but when she began to rise to go, he simply nodded and watched move away. Things were just getting more and more complicated and Martha wasn't sure how much more she could take.

* * *

Back at her home, Tish had just settled in on her sofa planning to watch a DVD before bed. She sighed thinking about her little sister heading down a familiar road. It was clear Martha was trying to push all thoughts of the Doctor to the side and possibly force herself to recapture something with Tom but the why was still haunting Tish. Even after two months, Martha refused to discuss what transpired between her and the Doctor. Just a few months ago, she and the Doctor seemed so happy but now it was as if the Time Lord had vanished into thin air. What could have changed so dramatically in such a short time?

Just as she began to ponder that thought a knock on her door brought her back. She glanced at a clock and noticed it was a bit late. She slowly rose and made her way to the door. When she peeked out the peep hole she was stunned by who was standing on the other side. She swung the door open and immediately asked, "Doctor? What are you doing here?"

The alien was a bit on edge already after having basically spilt his guts to her mother. He still wasn't sure why he had done it but now as he stood before yet another Jones' woman, he found himself hoping to avoid the third degree from her. So with a subdued smile he cautiously began, "Hi, Tish. It's been a while."

She eyed him suspiciously, "Right. What can I do for you?"

He wondered how much Martha had told her. He knew they were pretty close so he decided to gauge her, "I was hoping to talk with Martha about some things. Is she around?"

"I don't think she wants to talk to you. She definitely won't talk about you."

He only nodded, relieved that at least Martha hadn't felt it necessary to air their laundry to everyone.

"I'd like to try. Could you tell her I'm here?"

She hesitated a moment longer before ushering him in and closing the door. Once he was inside Tish rounded on him, "Not until you tell me what you did to upset my sister again."

He sighed. No such luck on the inquisition.

"Tish, I just went through this with your mum. If Martha wanted either of you to know she would have said. I think I should respect that and so should you."

Her eyes then widened and she chuckled derisively, "You spoke to my mum? And you're still on your feet? How'd you manage that?"

He smirked at her sarcasm, "She was actually quite understanding for once. Maybe you should take the example."

She narrowed her eyes and caustically retorted, "Well that's kind of hard when I've watched my sister get clobbered by you once again."

He began to glance around, hoping maybe Martha would hear the commotion and come to investigate. Tish watched him knowing he was hoping for her sister to pop up any moment and rescue him. Fat chance.

"At least tell me this, are you here to make amends because if not I doubt she will be willing to listen."

"I'm here to clear up some things with Martha," he cryptically replied, trying to stifle further inquiry.

He then moved past her and began to speak to no one in particular, "Martha, would you please come out and talk to me?"

Tish continued to study him for a moment. He seemed determined and a bit overanxious. She decided to test his resolve, "She isn't here."

He turned to her again, "Not here. Then why . . ."

He sighed as she raised a brow and gave a defiant glare.

"Right. Well do you know when she'll be back?"

"Not sure. She went out to a night club . . . with a mate," she offered as she moved back towards her sofa.

The Doctor was now studying her as he continued, "A night club, huh? In the middle of the week?"

Tish hunched her shoulders evasively, "Yes, it was her night off. The two of them strolled out of here a couple of hours ago."

He nodded and began to measure how to ask the next question. He didn't want to seem overly interested but was curious about who she might be out with. So as casually as he could, the Doctor moved a bit closer to where Tish now sat and began, "Well, I guess I could try again later. You do expect her back later tonight, right?"

Tish's mouth tugged into a small smile. She knew she had him now. He was wondering who Martha was out with. She debated putting him out of his misery and telling him it was just dinner but the more she thought about it the more she realized this might be the perfect motivation for him. So as casual as he had tried to be she nonchalantly replied, "She told me not to wait up as she and Tom left."

The Doctor eyes widened at her 'slip' and he quietly mumbled Tom's name as he internally cringed. Tish watched as a myriad of emotions quickly flashed across his face before it settled on vacant. She wasn't sure what his last expression meant so she tried to gauge him.

"Doctor? You alright?"

He didn't respond. He was lost in his mind at the moment. Martha was out with her ex-fiancée on a date. A man she cared about. A man she was prepared to marry. He had just admitted to himself and her mum that he wanted her back in his life but was he too late? A part of him, an arrogant, self-centered part, had always believed she would wait for him but reality was starting to set in. He was the one who told her to go have a happy, normal life and it appeared that was what she was trying to do. Did he have a right to be wounded? Suddenly his throat was dry and his chest began to constrict. Had he pushed her away one time too many?

Tish rose again, wondering now if she'd done more damage than good.

"Doctor . . ."

He, though, abruptly cut in, "I should go."

He then turned just as suddenly and headed for the door with Tish on his heels. She had meant to upset him hoping he would fight for her sister but it looked as though her strategy backfired. She reached him just as he was reaching for the knob and placed herself between him and the door.

"Tish, please move."

She ignored his words and pained expression, "No. Not until you convince me you're not going to run off again."

He hardened his gaze and spoke more firmly, "Move now."

Tish shook her head and quickly confessed, "She's only out with him because she thinks she can't be with you."

He stared at her blankly and evenly replied, "How can you know that?"

"Because I know my sister. She thinks she has to accept things as they are and she's trying to pretend that things are fine when they aren't."

"Maybe it's for the best. Tom can give her things I can't. Maybe she will grow to love him and have a perfect life," he returned half -heartedly.

Tish was shaking her head again, "You can't make yourself love someone you don't. Those things you're talking about, that Tom can give to her, I guarantee you, mean way less to her than having you in her life ever would. Don't run . . . please. For both of your sakes."

The Time Lord sighed again, "I'm not meant for this. I should be out there saving worlds, monitoring space and time but instead I'm chasing after something . . . someone who I can't give half the things she deserves."

"Then give her what you can . . . the only thing she wants. You."

He let out a deep breath and ran his hands through his already tussled locks, "Blimely! When did my life get even more complicated?"

She gave a small smile, "I think the day my baby sister darkened your doorstep."

He returned the small gesture, "Yeah, I guess so."

Tish felt a bit more settled about his emotions and so she did the only other thing she thought she could to keep things progressing positively. She stood away from the door and quietly offered, "She's at a little club called Grayson's downtown."

He looked up at her and furrowed his brow as she concluded, "Just in case you were curious."

She then moved back over to her sofa, sat down and turned on her Doctor studied her for a long moment before he turned back to the door. He turned the knob and prepared to leave before pausing and turning back to Tish. She pressed pause when she didn't hear the door close and looked back over her shoulder.

"Just don't give up on her," was Tish's last bit of wisdom.

The Doctor only smiled at her and she did the same before he did finally walk out and closed the door.

Once out on the porch, he shoved his hands into his overcoat pockets and paused. It seemed that everyone believed that he and Martha still had a chance but what about the young medic? He glanced towards where he had left the TARDIS parked. His first instinct was usually to avoid drama and just move on but as his gaze trailed now to the opposite direction where just a few blocks away Martha was spending an evening with her ex. that didn't feel like an option at all. Inside, he knew there was only one answer that felt right but it didn't make it any easier. Tentatively, he decided on a course of action and took his first step off the porch and towards an indefinite future.

* * *

Martha slowly made her way back from the bathroom, hoping Tom would not be able to tell she had been in there trying to compose herself. The second she was inside she worked to settle herself. Here she sat again caught between the reality of a man who thought she was just everything and the longing for one who could seemingly dismiss her with little thought. Why couldn't the Doctor be the one seeing and saying those things about her? Why couldn't he embrace her the way he had previous and prior companions? What was so wrong with her that he could just fling her aside constantly?

She glanced up at the mirror above the sink and tried to shake herself out of those thoughts. _There is nothing wrong with you except for your taste in men or more properly aliens. You have handsome intelligent human males throwing themselves at you, even wanting to marry you at one point. You have options you just have to embrace them and let go of this fixation with that Time Lord._

She took in a few deep breaths and splashed some water on her face before nodding to herself in acknowledgement of her thoughts. She would not allow the Doctor's recent rejection to pull her into the pit of despair again. If he could not appreciate who and what she was then to hell with him. She could and would move forward . . . somehow.

As she made the trek back towards her table, she noticed Tom chatting with one of the waiters. He quickly sent him off when he spotted Martha and rose when she began to sit again before rejoining her. He eyed her but did not speak. He knew better than most not to press Martha before she was ready. The pair continued to eye each other silently for a moment longer before Martha gathered herself to apologize for her abrupt departure.

With a self-deprecating smile, she quietly said, "I'm sorry about that."

"Stop apologizing to me. You've nothing to be sorry about. It wasn't my intent to upset you," he returned.

She shook her head, "You didn't. Your words just caught me off guard. That you still see me as someone worth having in your life overwhelmed me a bit."

He gave her a small smile, "Any man would be blessed to have you in his life. Don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise."

She simply nodded.

"Now . . . I have a little surprise for you," he stated attempting to lighten the mood.

She gave a perplexed smile, "A surprise? Like what?"

Tom's smile grew, "Well, I remember how much you loved a certain R&B group and I was chatting with one of the waiters who said that the band took request occasionally. I mentioned that a special lady needed some cheering up and he arranged for a special cover for you."

Just as he finished his thought, the intro to one of her favorite group's most popular songs began from the stage.

"Tom, you didn't?"

"May I have this dance?" he asked as he began to rise from his seat.

She followed him with her eyes but made no move to join him immediately. Not until he was completely standing and held out a hand to her did Martha ultimately place her hand in his and deliberately began to rise as well. The mellow harmony of Mint Condition now filled the cozy space and almost like a phantom pushing them forward, the pair quietly walked onto the already full dance area and joined the other couples on the floor. Tenderly, Tom drew her petite frame to his. He rested one hand at her svelte waist and the other gently clutching her hand to his chest. Martha followed his lead placing her hand at the middle of his back and giving his other a light squeeze.

Leisurely, the two doctors began to move to the soulful beats and lost themselves to the moment.

"_I don't like the way he treats you  
That's not the way that I would do you. . .'_

As the sweet lyrics permeated them both, Martha relaxed in his hold and let the words, his movements and the moment wash over her. She would be ok eventually. Life would go on. Love would happen for her again. She would survive. Even as she absorbed his hold, she knew part of that process would be letting go of Tom as well. He was a man who held her like he never wanted to let go and who had never made her feel insecure about his feelings for just her. Yet in her heart she knew their time, too, had come and gone. She cared too much about him to allow him to wait for something that would probably never amount to much.

Oh yes, she would move forward, slowly but surely, but without using someone else to make it through. She would set him free to find someone who could give him everything and one day, for both of them, this would just be a distant memory . . . a rough patch overcome.

"_All those nights he left you to cry  
Left you with nothing but tears in your eyes. . ."_

A small smile crept across her face as she allowed herself to cherish this rare moment of peace in her mind. Slowly, she closed her eyes and temporarily gave herself over to the moment. It wasn't until she felt Tom brush a soft kiss against her hair that her eyes reopen, expecting to find his bright green gaze but was instead startled by a familiar pair of hazel eyes. Like that night in New York, as she danced with another handsome bloke, Martha found herself lost once again in the aged yet ageless eyes of the Doctor. He stood just inside the doorway, closely examining her from across the crowded room. She quickly closed her eyes again, believing she was going mad for just an instant.

But when she reopened them, he was now moving purposefully through the swaying crowd towards her. Martha instantly tensed in Tom's hold, an action he seemed to sense it almost immediately.

He pulled back a bit and asked, "Holding you too tight?"

She, though, didn't respond or speak as her now steely gaze was fixed on the Time Lord standing behind him. How could a Time Lord have such lousy timing?

He didn't appear to be put off by the scene before him and easily tapped a still oblivious Tom on the shoulder and asked, "May I cut in?"

"_Girl, he's over and gone  
You don't have to hurt no more. . ."_

The Doctor gave her a small smile that she refused to return. As much as she craved him, she was unprepared for his impromptu visit and let her lingering bitterness and defensiveness guide her. Coolly, before Tom could ever turn fully to see who had asked the question, Martha tersely replied for him, "No."

It was a response to both his request but also his very presence. The Doctor held her stubborn gaze but did not flinch at the ire he found simmering there.

"Hello, Martha Jones."

She shook her head defiantly. Once again as she was trying to put things in some kind of perspective, he just appeared and threw everything back into chaos. Tom finally turned fully and garnering a view of his rival for Martha's attention.

More firmly this time, Martha repeated, "No. I told you I did not want to see you again. I asked you to stay away."

She needed him to go, unready to deal with the implication of his unexpected appearance.

The Doctor sighed but remained resolute, attempting to push through her crossness and shock, "I know you asked me not to come but I need to talk with you."

Martha was a bit more curt this time, "So my life should just come to a halt because you want to chat? I don't think so. Those days are way over."

Before the Doctor could marshal a response, Tom found his own purchase and tried to regain her attention while never taking his eyes off the Doctor, "Martha?"

She glanced at him and sighed, definitely not liking how this evening was turning out. Here stood the two most prominent men in her recent life now eyeing each other like tigers on the Serengeti. She was in no mood for any of it. The Time Lord, cutting the other guy a guarded look, briskly introduced himself before Martha could interject further, "I'm the Doctor. I'm sure you've heard of me."

Tom's jaw clenched reflexively. Before him stood the phantom that had kept Martha, as she earlier admitted, from committing fully to him. The physical attraction was immediately obvious but his presumptuousness seemed to be the antithesis of what would normally draw Martha, yet drawn she was. The tension between she and the Doctor was palpable and even as he began to recognize he was a third wheel, instinct seemed to drive him to stake a claim, even though they were presently not an item. His hand had remained on her waist when they were interrupted and his grasp unconsciously tightened.

They all continued to examine each other in quiet with the Doctor's eyes lingering on his arm placed intimately around Martha. She didn't seem to notice or didn't mind as her focus returned to the alien.

The Doctor didn't even bother to acknowledge Tom beyond the terse intro, instead placing his concern on the displeasure that seemed to be building in Martha as her intense gaze burrowed into him.

He tried again, in an even tone to soothe her, "Martha, I just need you to hear me out. If after that you still want me to go I will."

She rolled her eyes, "I've heard that before. God, you are unbelievable. Contrary to your very high opinion of yourself the whole world, including mine, does not revolve around you. I don't want to hear anything you have to say unless it's good bye."

"There are things you need to know," he emphasized.

Martha, though, was unmoved, "No, I mean it! I told you that last time we saw each other I could not keep doing this with you. My feelings are not some yo-yo you can take out and jerk around whenever you get bored. I need you to respect my wishes and just go."

He shook his head, "I can't."

Martha was surprised and exasperated at his persistence but refused to be bullied into something. So narrowing her eyes at him, she firmly replied, "Then I will."

Then quicker than either man could offer a protest, Martha was out of Tom's hold, making her way to their table and throwing on her coat.

When they did make it back to her side, she placed an apologetic gaze on Tom first, "I'm really sorry about tonight. All of it."

She then regarded the Doctor with more melancholy as she flatly concluded, "I don't know if this is some sort of game for you or what but I've had enough. Why can't you just leave me alone? I was trying to get on with things but you can't or won't even let me do that. Just let me get over you."

He recoiled at her words. It was in that instant he knew the last thing he wanted was for her to get over him. But before he could recover enough to respond, she held up a hand to stop him, "Just stay away."

She then turned and quickly exited the club leaving both men staggered.

Neither Tom or the Doctor moved for a long moment. Finally the human doctor looked to his still silent rival and smartly said, "We're both idiots."

The Doctor rounded on him and looked as if he wanted to lose his temper but Tom pushed forward, "Me for thinking she was ready for move on and you for letting her walk out that door. It's clear from her reaction she has unresolved whatever with you. So I'm going to make this simple for both of us, if you don't go after her, I will. I like to think I am a man who learns from my mistakes. How about you, Doctor?"

The Time Lord narrowed his eyes at Tom and saw for the first time, really saw, another man care for Martha. He cared enough to let her be happy however she needed to be. Why was that so hard for him to grasp? He was so used to 'knowing what's best' for the people around him but maybe, this once, he didn't have all the answers.

The two men held another lingering stare before Tom reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, preparing to pay the check. The Doctor turned and headed for the door without another word.

Out in the cool night air he again found himself at a crossroads. He wasn't sure anything he said would make much difference to her at this point but he now grasped that he needed to find some way to at least keep the door open. Whether it was Tom's subvert warning or the look on Martha's face as she accused him of playing a game with her or the something he had been feeling almost from the moment she came into his life, he knew he had to find some way to get through to her.

'_How could he look into those pretty eyes  
And hurt you, oh no  
You don't have to hurt no more'  
_

_Song Credit: You Don't Have to Hurt No More by Mint Condition._


	30. Chapter 30

**Alright Guys, I know it's been forever since I posted and I feel awful about it but RL just overwhelmed me for a while. I recently got a couple of request to continue (thanks to Ayiana89 and peacheslcg for your continued interest) and I finally got a break and thought I'd see if there was still enough interest in it to continue. I'm not completely happy with this chapter but I figure it's a start and depending on feedback I will carry on or just let it drop. Again, I'm sorry for the long delay.**

Chapter 30 . . .

Tish had fallen asleep on her sofa but started when she heard the door open and slam. She sat up just in time to watch her sister rush by without ever looking up.

"Martha, what happened?" she questioned innocuously.

Martha, though, didn't even pause let alone answer. She was too lost in her own thoughts. _I will not cave. I will not cave. _This was the mantra that Martha chanted in her mind the whole way back to Tish's. She had walked the whole way back in under ten minutes, a surprising feat in heeled boots. She should have known something like this would happen. Her whole life had been a train wreck since he had come into it why should this be any different?

Before she could orient herself and climb off the couch, Tish heard Martha's door slam next. Once she was on her feet, Tish began down the hall towards the door to check on her but before she could make it that far a knock on the outer door called her back towards the front. She dashed to the door and found the somber Time Lord on her doorstep once more.

"I take it things didn't go well?" she quietly questioned.

He only raised a knowing brow at her inquiry before she step aside to let him enter. Tish pointed him towards the bedroom next to the kitchen and slowly he made his way to it. Once again he found himself on the outside of a closed door that Martha resided behind. He stood before it for a long moment before inhaling deeply and beginning, "Martha, can we please talk about this? I just need to say some things to you . . . things you need to hear. Please."

On the other side, Martha sat on the edge of her bed in the dark. She was a bit surprised he followed but then again she knew it was in his nature to have the last word and her walking out didn't afford him that. Martha, though, decided she would not give him what he really wanted . . . an argument. In a battle of words, he knew he had the upper hand but her silence would drive him mad and hopefully cause him to give up. She could not allow him to suck her back in. She just couldn't. And so she remained quiet as he talked through the sturdy wood door between them.

"You have every right to be upset with me. I have behaved like a proper idiot. If you would just talk to me, I could explain why."

Silence.

He sighed heavily, "Martha . . ."

He helplessly glanced towards her sister who stood just at the beginning of the hall observing the scene. She slowly moved to join him and gently rested a hand on his back as she leaned in over his shoulder and spoke to her sister next.

"Martha, come on. He's come all this way. Won't you at least hear him out?"

Martha remained silent. It irked her more than it probably should have that her sister appeared to be siding with him against her but she refused to acknowledge either of them, counting on her silence eventually making them abandon their campaign. Tish's next words, though, sent a jolt through her that caused her to react even against her will.

"You know, you're always talking about being a grown up yet here you are acting like a child. Stop being so stubborn or you're going to sacrifice something you want, have wanted for so long, just to make a point."

That was it for the young MD. She was sick of everyone having an opinion about her life. She darted off the bed and was at the door in an instant. She flung it open, startling the pair back for a moment. She gave both a deathly glare as she tartly replied, "You know what I really want . . . for people to stop telling me what the hell I want!"

And with that she slammed the door in both their faces again.

Tish sighed heavily, "Maybe if you give her a little more time."

He stared at the door before resting his head against it for another long moment and then finally turning towards Tish and nodding. He began his slow trek back towards the front with Tish giving one more glance to the shut door before following after him. At the front door, she gave him a tight smile, "I'm sure she was just surprised to see you. Give her the night to gather herself."

He sighed but noncommittally replied, "Maybe."

He then turned and stepped out onto the porch and waited for the sound of her closing the door before he tightened his overcoat around him and gazed up at the sky, contemplating what his next move would be.

* * *

It was a bit after midnight, when Tish emerged from her bedroom, unable to sleep. She planned to have some chamomile tea in hopes of aiding her. As she passed by her front door, she noticed the curtains a bit askew and moved to straighten them and was momentarily startled by a figure sitting on her porch. It took only a moment though for her to recognize that familiar vestige. She couldn't fight off a small smile as she now moved to the door. Quietly, she opened it and found the Doctor gazing up at her from his perch.

"Doctor, what are you doing?"

"Well . . . it was such a nice night thought I'd just sit here and look at the stars from this vantage point for a change," he said.

Tish raised a brow and shook her head, "If you're going to wait her out the least I can do is offer you my couch. Come on."

The Doctor, though, shook his head, "This is fine. I don't want to crowd her but I also don't want her to think I have given up. I'll be fine."

"So what? You're going to sit here all night?"

"Yes. Hopefully she will be willing to hear me out in the morning."

She gave him a thoughtful smile, "Can I at least offer you some tea? I was about to make myself some."

He returned her grin, "That would be nice. Thank you."

She nodded before stepping back inside and closing the door. She leaned against for an instant and gazed towards the door that sheltered the object of his affection. For being so intelligent, bookwise, sometimes her baby sister could be real thick. With another sigh, she pushed off from the door and walked straight towards where her sulking sibling lay. She knew her sister was probably still up, as she was usually a night owl thanks to her work schedule, so she tried again to talk with her. Softly, she knocked on the door. When she received no response, she talked through it.

"Martha, I know you're awake so just listen to me. That man is sitting out on the porch right now, ready to spend the night there just hoping you will talk with him. Do you know how many guys have done something like that for me? Zero. Now I get that you're upset but don't you at least owe it to yourself to hear what he has to say. Even if you ultimately decided it's all rubbish, isn't it better to know than to always wonder what if?"

She paused, hoping for some sign but when she was met with only silence again, Tish sighed heavily and concluded, "Don't let your pride cost you a chance at your heart's desire, Martha."

And with that she continued on to the kitchen.

* * *

Martha was indeed awake. She'd tried to fall asleep hours ago but her mind just would not settle. So she lay in bed staring at the ceiling, trying not to think about the man who had occupied much of her recent life. The fact that she could not shake him even when she tried should have told her that her stand was useless. As much as she didn't want it to, knowing that he had not gone away after she had told him to touched her deeply. She knew the Doctor on some level. His MO was to flee when things got complicated but more than once since they had become closer, when it would have been easier for him to bolt, he remained and Martha knew that should tell her something. He was being persistent but the why was still unclear to her. Was he simply lonely and using her as the fallback plan again? Or had he finally figured out that he needed her around as much as she wanted to be around?

Tish was right about the wondering. She knew it would always haunt her if she didn't at least ask the question. But she also knew that the Doctor had a knack for evading questions he did not want to answer. She was tired of always wondering what was going on in his mind. It was exhausting. She needed to let go so that she could gain some peace of mind for herself. It wasn't about punishing anyone. She just needed to move forward. So it was with that resolve in her head that she decided to wait for Tish to go back to bed and then, if he was still out there, give him the opportunity to say his peace before she made it clear that she would not continue this little dance.

It was a bit after one when she finally heard her sister make her way back up the stairs to her room. Martha gave it a few extra moments before she finally rose from her restless lounging and threw a dressing gown over her tank and sweatpants and slipped into her house slippers. Quietly, she opened her door and stepped out before silently closing it again. She paused and took a deep breath before heading towards the front of the house. She couldn't help feeling anxious about what she might encounter. He may have gotten tired of waiting. At least that would give her a reprieve but as she noiselessly made her way through the darkened home and eventually to the window to peek out, her vague optimism evaporated. Sitting on the small porch with his back to the door and his head resting against it was the Doctor. From her vantage point it was difficult to tell if he was sleeping or just staring because of the dim light but the fact that he appeared to be settled in for the long haul surprised her once more.

Martha could remember so many times when she had hoped for such determination from him in regards to her but now she just did not feel like she could trust it. Too many times she had gotten burned by him and the last time, she had promised herself, would be the last time. She tried to convince herself she would not cave to whatever it was he said to try to sway her because in her heart she believed it would just be more of the same. With another long sigh, she stepped away from the window and moved to the door gently placing her hand on the knob. Lightly, she rested her head against the cool wooden barrier and quietly asked herself, "Why can't he just leave me in peace?"

"_Because I love you."_

Martha stood upright with her eyes wide when she heard his voice seemingly come out of nowhere. Words she feared she would never hear from him towards her echoed in her mind. On reflex , she looked to her side but immediately realized he wasn't inside the house which meant . . . she now found herself slowly turning and pulling the door knob. When the door opened, she found the Doctor on his feet facing her. The duo stood in a quiet extended gaze before Martha stepped back in silent acquiescence to his entry. The Time Lord accepted the offer and stepped inside without a word. Martha closed the door and then looked up to him, her mind spinning with both his words and the means of delivery.

The Doctor could sense her question but before he could even begin to explain, she moved around him and started down the hall that led away from the front of the house. He quickly turned wondering if she was about to retreat back to her room. He began after her only to watch her bypass the familiar door and continue on into the kitchen. By the time he reached it, she was in the midst of filling a kettle, he assumed for tea. He couldn't help a smile at the action. She was settling in for a chat and he was grateful the opportunity. He knew he had so much to explain to her, so much to make her understand.


	31. Chapter 31

**First of all, thank you guys so much for the responses and encouragement. It means more than I can say that you are really still enjoying this story. Here's the beginning of their long overdue conversation. I hope you enjoy and, just a heads up, I have enabled anonymous reviews and welcome all constructive comments.**

Chapter 31 . . .

As the kettle boiled, the pair sat across from each other at the small dining table in silence. The Doctor knew the ball was now in his court. It was up to him to convince her of the things he was about to say and for a long moment it felt like the most daunting task he'd ever faced. He was the Doctor and used to being in control of situations but right now he knew Martha had all the control. She could either believe what he was about to share or dismiss it and him. Normally, he would not care what another thought of him but with her, especially now, it mattered.

His quiet musings were interrupted by the kettle finally finishing and Martha rising to tend to it. He watched her as she moved about, seemingly on autopilot, making them both a cup before returning to her perch across from him. The Doctor was unusually touched by the fact that she had prepared it just the way he liked it, complete with one ice cube so that he could drink it right away.

Once she settled back in her seat, the Doctor let out a long sigh before finally gathering himself and beginning, "I'm sorry . . . about earlier at the door."

Martha was just about to sip some of her tea when he spoke and paused the cup at her lips. She instantly tensed, figuring he was backtracking about what he had "said".

He, though, refuted that thought as he continued, "I wasn't intentionally probing your thoughts. Sometimes, quite by accident, I can read people's thoughts without trying."

She held his gaze but did not offer an outward response. Instead she exhaled inwardly before opting to finally take a drink of the brew. The Doctor took her silence as acceptance and tried to cut the tension with a hint of humor, "I know this might be as much of shock to you as it is to me but I'm not sure what to say."

He paused a beat but the young medic refused to give him any reaction. He knew this wouldn't be easy but her apparent stoicism was beginning to unnerve him. He gathered himself once more and pressed ahead more soberly, "I know I have been rubbish with this whole situation and the only way I can think to explain it is to say this relationship stuff is as alien to me as time travel is to most humans. I've rarely entertained the idea when my people were around and even less so since they've gone. The closest I've come recently being Rose."

Martha slightly cringed but quickly schooled her features so as not to roll her eyes at the mention of the fair haired young woman. She knew her predecessor would find her way into this conversation some way but it still annoyed Martha more than she liked to admit.

The Doctor, either missing or choosing to ignore the miniscule flinch, moved forward, "Close relationships are messy and it has always been my nature to avoid those kind of entanglements especially with the life I lead but then you and I happened and I found myself faced with something else I rarely felt or even acknowledged . . . fear."

The Doctor paused again, allowing his words to settle between them. At least now Martha appeared a bit more attentive, minutely leaning in at his words. He'd spent his time on the porch thinking of how to approach this conversation with Martha and ultimately came to the conclusion that he would lay it on the line. Anything less, he realized, could result in her walking away for good. Now he sat across from her trying to assess her demeanor and preparing to expose himself like he never had with no guarantee of the outcome. Yet as he held her stoic gaze and prepped himself for what was to come, he also knew it was what was right. She deserved his complete honesty.

So with a deep sigh he continued, "The fear of caring too much, of one of my enemies using you against me, of you realizing that you could do better than me . . . the fear that one day I will lose you no matter what I do. I let all of those uncertainties guide me into pushing away the one true thing in this universe . . . love."

This time Martha was unable to hide her reaction as an eyebrow rose at his use of the word love again. Before this night that word seemed to be stretch for him even as they got closer. Now twice he had uttered it and she was having a difficult time wrapping her mind around it being used by him and directed at her. She thought to challenge him about using it now but before she could he pressed on, "I know saying this doesn't excuse how I've acted but I need you to understand that my behavior was never about hurting you or not wanting to be with you. I'm just not used to this . . . letting myself feel so much for someone. It seems every time I try they get taken away by fate or by circumstance and when you and I started to get closer those thoughts of how I would lose you too began to seep in and my instincts just kicked in. I sent you away because I was scared for you but also because I was afraid to let you know just how much I cared about you."

Martha continued to silently regard him outwardly but inside her emotions were swirling. They had been here before. After the incident in Africa he had admitted that fear had driven him to knock her out. He was afraid for her but the fear of his own emotions was new for her. Rather than share with her what was in his hearts for her he choose instead devastate her by pushing her aside. It was that truth she was having a hard time swallowing.

The Doctor, for his part, was still finding it hard to read her. Her countenance didn't betray much and he was beginning to wonder if anything he was saying was having an impact. Abruptly, Martha rose from her seat, taking her cup with her and she went over to the sink and began to rinse it out. The Doctor stayed seated for a moment unsure of how or if he should proceed. But when the water stopped running and she remained facing away from him, he finally stood and walked over to her. He gently touched her elbow prompting her to turn and face him. A part of him had thought she might be trying to hide tears but when she turned he found none. Instead he found a look bordering on bemused.

"Martha . . . what are you thinking?"

She sighed, "I don't know. What should I be thinking?"

He gave a halfhearted smile, "I don't know either. Maybe that you believe I'm sincere, that you still want there to be an us."

"I do believe you and all I have ever wanted since the day we met was us," she began. This brought a smile to his face but she quickly erased it with her next comments, "But we've been down this road before. I'm sure you believe what you are saying right now but how long will it be before something else happens and you decide being with me is just not worth it. I can't live like that, never knowing when you will determine I'm too much of an inconvenience. I won't."

He studied her intently before trying to solidify what he said earlier. Tenderly, the Doctor raised his hands to her face and framed it as he earnestly stated, "I swear to you this time things will be different. I realize just how much I do love you, Martha. I will not take you for granted again."

He paused and cautioned to make a more intimate move. He slowly leaned in and rested his forehead against hers, a move she did not rebuff, and softly implored, "Please forgive me for being too much of coward to say so before now and for letting you walk away again."

Martha let out a small sigh and brought her hands up to cover his. Since the night he kissed her on the moon, she had longed for this moment. For this impossibly amazing man to say those words to her and look at her in that way. Now this was that instant and as she looked into his searching eyes, she knew what he wanted to hear. She gently squeezed his hands and quietly, finally spoke, "I forgive you."

He let out a breath he hadn't been aware he had been holding and gave a small smile as she continued, "I forgive you because I can't move on if I don't but I can't forget either and can't allow myself to be pulled back into something that is just going to turn into more of the same."

She paused and removed herself from his embrace, "I'm sorry. I heard what you have to say and I sincerely hold no ill will towards you but now I need for you to go."


	32. Chapter 32

**I want to thank everyone again for all your amazing comments and continued interest in this fic as well as the renewed interest in the prequel to it. I have a couple more chapters before this one is in the books. I hope you continue to enjoy. **

Chapter 32 . . .

To say he was stunned would have been an understatement. He had just poured out his heart to her, admitted things he hadn't to anyone and she was dismissing him. This couldn't be right, could it? His eyes followed her as she backed away from him and moved around towards the doorway.

"Martha."

She shook her head, "No, Doctor. I've had enough of this roller coaster. I just don't want to do it anymore."

He stood, unmoving, staring at her. Neither seemed willing to be the first to flinch but as the moments dragged on, Martha finally decided to end things. She turned without another word and walked out of the kitchen. The Doctor inhaled sharply, not planning on an outright dismissal from her. He assumed she would have reservations and might question his motives but for her to just walk away startled him. He took another moment to gather himself before heading back towards her bedroom which he assumed she had returned to. Just as he prepared to steel himself to face the resistance he was sure to face, the Time Lord was again surprised to catch sight of her at the front door. Her hand was resting on the door knob and she was beginning to open it when he began towards her. When finally stood before her, Martha evenly requested, "Please just go."

The Doctor continued to stare down at her for a lingering moment before doing something surprising of his own. Martha was stunned when she found her face suddenly within his grasp and his lips pressed firmly to hers. She briefly thought of resisting but found that her body was in no hurry to obey her thoughts. While initially her eyes remained wide open with shock eventually, as she felt his lips begin to tenderly move against her own, they too acquiesced to the feeling and slowly drifted closed. Gradually, she released the door and the Doctor skillfully pushed her back against it, both closing it and bracing them against it.

As the couple ardently shared their first intimate embrace in months, Martha's hands clung to his sides as the Doctor attempted to put every ounce of his feeling into their exchange. He needed to make her feel what he felt, let her know that this time was not just about words. The embrace lasted for an extended time until the Doctor slowly pulled back but maintained the contact. His nose first rested against hers before moving slightly to her cheek. As Martha struggled to catch her breath, he finally spoke once more, "I am so sorry I hurt you. So sorry that I didn't let you know how much I appreciated you . . . how much I love you."

Martha's breath caught at his third admission of love that evening. Her eyes searched his briefly before looking away. She wanted to believe it and accept it but there was that part of her, the part that remembered all the hurt and uncertainty she endured because of him, that was stubbornly holding her back. Breathily, she began, "Doctor . . . I can't just . . ."

"Can't just what? Admit that you're just as afraid as I am? That you can't give into the thing we both want?"

"I can't just pretend that I don't need much more than you can give to me," she finally shared.

He pulled back at her words. The full force of what he thought she was saying slammed into him as his hand dropped from her face like a stone. That very thought had been one of the main arguments he'd used when pushing her away but now hearing her saying it after he figured out that she was what he wanted and needed was like a gut punch. Martha studied his face for a long moment and sensed the sudden resignation in his look but before she could respond to it he unsteadily answered, "Right. I guess since you've been back things like a family and home has become more of a reality."

Martha shook her head at those words, "Not those things, Doctor."

She paused and sighed before lightening her own burden, "I need to be able to depend on the man I care about. I need to know that when things get tough or "messy" that he will be there. I need the reassurance of knowing that when I have a bad day or just need to be held that I can turn to him for that. I need to know that sometimes it's alright for me to be vulnerable and need a shoulder to lean on."

She hesitated again and with a slight quiver in her voice and a single tear glancing down her cheek, she concluded, "When we first agreed to give it another go I thought I could handle not having that kind of security but being back home, having someone giving me that and helping me see its not unreasonable to need and desire that, I just don't think I can do without it again. I'm only human, Doctor and unlike you I only have one heart. I need to know that it is in good hands and I can't expect you to change who you are to accommodate me anymore than I can change how I feel about this."

Martha quickly wiped away a few extra tears that had joined the first and looked to be preparing to retreat after her confession when the Doctor surprised her again as well as himself when he abruptly replied, "I can try, Martha. I want to try."

She looked back up into his eyes with skepticism apparent an asked, "Why? Why now? Why at all?"

"Because, Martha Jones, I've experienced life without you in it twice. Without your compassion, your trust, your loyalty . . . your love and that is just a life that is not nearly as good as it has been with you in it. I loved my time with Donna but there was always a place that remained unfulfilled. For the longest time I thought it was Rose I had been missing but after the stolen earth mess, when I had the chance to fill it, I realized she wasn't what I had been missing."

He paused and moved closer to her again. He brought a hand up to her cheek and wiped one of the stray tears before continuing, "I knew that day what I was missing was you, Martha. But by then you had already had your own life and I couldn't take you away from that. So after I left Donna with her family I just wandered around on my own occasionally having someone along for "just one trip". Then Jack called one day out of the blue and I saw my chance."

Martha exhaled and allowed his profession to wash over her. Oh how she wanted to believe every word. To believe that it was she he desired, that it was she who was the missing piece in his life. It all sounded too good to be true.

"God, I want to believe you, so much but it's so hard. What's to say that something else won't happen to change your mind? I just don't know that I can risk myself for you again."

Now with his forehead resting against hers, he softly implored, "We both know this won't be easy and we will never be a "normal" couple but I give you my word I will spend whatever time we have together making sure you never have another reason to doubt what I feel for you." He leaned in, placed another small peck on her lips before tenderly concluding, "Please just give me, us, one more chance."

Martha studied him intently. She had always been the sensible one in her family. She lived her life with her head not her heart. She was a woman of science and fact not of conjecture and whimsy. That was until she met the Doctor. It was her initial time with him that opened her up to things that her mind would have immediately dismissed. It was with him that she learned there was so much more to life than book knowledge. Now her sensible self was warring with that more open side. Should she turn her back on all the evidence that suggested this could end up like all the other times she had opened herself up to him and let her heart take the lead? Could she let go of her own fears and open her heart to him once more?

The Doctor was as anxious as he had ever been as he stood in her stoic gaze. Her stare remained unreadable to him, though the kiss they shared before and the few tears told him that she was at least not immune to him. Her lack of speech, however, was unnerving him and had him questioning whether she would take another chance on them. It was just when he was about to say more that she finally made a move. As in the kitchen earlier, Martha stepped out of his grasp and moved around him. For a long moment the Doctor didn't move. He stood facing the door, thinking this was her way of showing him that she would not yield to his appeal. He inhaled deeply slowly turning to meet what he supposed would be an unwilling stare and another request to leave. Instead, for the third time that night, he would be surprised to find himself greeted with was a tiny hand extended towards him as well as a look of slight trepidation.

He looks from her eyes to the hand twice before placing his hand in hers and inwardly sighing as she folded her fingers around his. Still without a word she turned and began to lead him back down the hall that lead towards the kitchen. The Doctor tensed a bit when she stopped instead outside her bedroom. Martha felt his slight hesitancy as she began to open the door and gave his and a light squeeze reassuring him and herself that she was making the right decision, before continuing their trek into her private space. Once inside, she released his hand and turned back to face him. The silence remained palpable between them but the Doctor was concerned about saying anything that might break the moment. Both remained tentative but it was Martha that finally moved to break up the stalemate by being as direct as possible.

She stepped closer to the bemused Time Lord who remained near the doorway and without giving him the chance to react she pushed him against the door closing it and, as he had done at the front door, engaged him in another impassioned kiss. The Doctor was momentarily staggered by her forwardness but soon gave into the moment and returned her ardor. Her hands rested upon his chest while his arms snaked around her body eventually coming to rest at her waist. The couple remained in their heated embrace for an extended moment before Martha again needed air. When she pulled back, she gave him a demanding stare as she breathlessly stated, "If you hurt me again, Doctor . . ."

He shook his head as he cut in, "I won't. I swear."

And finally, for the first time that night, she gave him a small but genuine smile which he mirrored before engaging her in another less fervent but no less meaningful kiss.


	33. Chapter 33

**Alright, Guys, here is the last chapter with an epilogue to come shortly. This is fluff, pure and simple, because I was in a fluffy mood, lol. Anyway, I want to thank each and every person who reviewed and read this fic. I truly appreciate the interest in my writings. The song is What I've Been Waiting For by Brian McKnight just because I love almost anything he sings and I thought it fit.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 33 . . .

'_Look in my eyes, take a good look tell me what you see  
Because of you, I'm only a fraction of the man I used to be . . .'_

The Doctor was hard pressed to recall a moment when he felt this content. He was smiling without guilt and more relaxed than he'd ever allowed himself to be and it was all because of the petite human that lay in his arms. Martha Jones. She had come into his life at one of the most painful moments in his long life and slowly restored his joy and wonder. It still boggled his mind at times that she remained at his side for so long, especially after the way he had treated her. Her determination, compassion and love had saved him from himself. He would chastise himself for a long time for taking so long to realize just how much she mattered to him and nearly losing her for good.

He felt her shift lightly against him and mentally shook himself from those thoughts for now. She was here with him and he intended to make sure that it remained that way for a good long time. As his fingertips feathered lightly over the bare skin of her shoulder his smile grew as he felt her own fingers trail from his chest up to his chin before finally tracing the smile on his lips.

"What's that smile about?" she softly inquired. He placed a small kiss on her fingertips before reaching up to grasp her fingers as he simply replied, "You."

'_I didn't want to fall in love, I didn't really have the time  
I didn't want to let you in my life, I wanted to run and hide. . .'_

'_Now I don't want to live without you, can't be without you  
Ever since I let you in the door, Girl, I don't want to sleep without you  
Can't breathe without you, I think I found what I've been waiting for  
What I been waiting for. . .'_

She rose up slightly and gazed down at him in the dimly lit room. His reply had her trying to gauge his sincerity but the smile held no mocking or condescending. All Martha saw was a comfortable beam that hadn't wavered under her scrutiny. So slowly a lazy smile spread across her lips before she leaned in and placed a soft peck on the corner of his mouth before nuzzling back into the hallow of his neck. Though she had initially hoped the evening would end on a more intimate note, the Doctor surprised her once more by requesting that they simply held each other. Both were, at first, content to just let the quiet engulf them but Martha's curiosity finally overruled the unspoken arrangement. With her hand tenderly caressed his chest again, she softly asked, "What changed?"

"What do you mean?" he replied absentmindedly.

She sighed lightly, "When I left the TARDIS, you seemed so sure it was the right thing. What changed your mind and made you come back?"

"Besides the fact that I was completely miserable without you?" He felt her nod against his chest. He exhaled and matter of factly answered, "Your mum."

That confession caused Martha to sit upright and look down at him in complete shock. "My mum?"

The Doctor nodded, "Yeah . . . she was worried about you and figured it had to do with us."

She shook her head, still in utter disbelief, "My mum reached out to you?"

A half smile crept across his face, "Imagine my surprise when she called but she said some things that made me realize I deserved . . . we both deserved some happiness."

He held her gaze and tried to judge how she was feeling about this new bit of information. Finally another small smile played on her lips, "I just can't believe my mum did that. I thought she would be the last person to try and help us."

"I think we should both give her more credit. You're her daughter and above everything she wants your happiness."

She nodded this time before returning to his embrace.

"I'm getting there," she replied breathily.

His smile returned, "Good."

'_The smile on my face, tells I'm exactly at the place that I want to be  
Girl you're like my fire, you're my one and only desire  
You can have everything that you want from me. . .'_

"Martha?"

"Mmm."

"Do you trust me?" he softly questioned.

Martha hesitated, not because she didn't know the answer but because the question seemed to come out of the blue. Finally she gathered herself and replied steadfastly, "With everything."

The Doctor inhaled deeply before pressing, "Including your heart?"

That question struck a nerve. Before this night of confession Martha would not have been able to answer that inquiry with any certainty. The truth was as much as the Doctor had shut her out due to fear was as much as she guarded her heart. Things had changed between them but there was always a small part of her that refused to lose herself fully to her feelings because of past slights but now . . .

She rose from her perch again, balancing on an elbow and gazing at him seriously as she replied, "We wouldn't be here like this if I didn't."

He held her gaze for a lingering moment before leaning forward and engaging her in a soft languid kiss. When they separated both were smiling warmly.

"I can't promise you that I won't mess up again. As I told you before, this relationship thing is pretty new to me but I will do my very best to take care of your heart this time."

Martha brought a hand to his cheek now and tenderly caressed his jaw as she quietly retorted, "I don't expect perfection, Doctor. We will both make mistakes. I just need to know that I'm not in this alone."

His smile brightened, "You're not."

She leaned in and stole another gentle peck from his lips before settling into his body again, "Good, then I could not ask for more." _  
_

'_Baby, I'm going through it, I really don't know what you did  
But I'm glad you did it, I never thought I would feel this way  
But I'm so with it, all things are possible  
And we're going to fall together. . .'_

The duo laid in comfortable silence once more. Martha found herself pondering her life. She'd gone from an idealistic medical student wanting to change the world to a time traveler seeing so much more than she ever knew existed. She'd been through the ups and downs of joy and pain, fallen in love and had to walk away from it. She'd moved forward and backwards more than a few times and had finally ended up right where she knew she always wanted to be. No, her life was never going to be conventional but she realized fully now that was exactly what she wanted.

Softly, she sighed contently, "Thank you."

"For what?" the Doctor gently inquired.

"For coming back and not giving up on me," she replied as she gave him a quick squeeze.

Tenderly he placed a soft kiss on her forehead and then reached for her hand and brought it to his lips before quietly concluding, "Never again, Martha Jones."

She smiled and squeezed his hand. He returned the gesture before they sank into quiet one more time. As her breath seemed to even out, the Doctor thought she might have fallen to sleep. He shifted beneath her causing her hand to grasp him tighter. He smiled at the gesture of possessiveness and found that he liked it.

"Doctor?" she lazily murmured.

He almost didn't answer, thinking she was talking in her sleep.

"Mmm," he offered noncommittally.

In sleepy whisper, she sweetly uttered, "I love you too."

The Time Lord could not fight the wide grin that spread across his face at her tender admission. It was the first time since 1913 that she had ever said those words but unlike that time there was nothing jarring about it. In fact it felt like the most natural thing in the universe to him now. As he again heard her even breathing, signifying her slumber he pressed another kiss to her hair, content in the knowledge that he had the greatest gift in the universe . . . her love._  
_

'_I know what I've been waiting for  
And it's you  
I know what I've been waiting for.'_


	34. Epilogue

**Ok here is the epilogue, finally, as promised. I want to again thank everyone who read, reviewed and alerted this story. You guys totally rock!**

**Epilogue . . .**

"Where are we?" Martha questioned as the Doctor lead her by the hand down the ramp to the door of their transport.

He smiled mysteriously, "What part of it's a surprise are you not grasping, Dr. Jones?"

She gave him a half- hearted glare that quickly vanished when he leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"Trust me," he returned before tugging her closer to and finally out of the door.

When the pair stepped out of the ship, Martha was both surprised and perplexed. She was immediately struck with by a sense of déjà vu. Taking a moment to fully take in the shoreline and docks she recalled so vividly before she turned her attention back to him, "We're in Japan."

"Very good," he replied cheekily.

She turned completely to face him this time, "Why are we here?"

His lighthearted demeanor slowly melted into a more solemn one.

"I was in the control room of the Valiant when the Master gave the order to eradicate Japan. He was upset about the Drast deceiving him but there was also some vague intel that you were also in the area. He thought he could kill two birds with one stone."

Martha's demeanor instantly tensed, "Why are we here?"

"Because I want you to tell me about it . . . all of it."

She knew he meant the Year. She had worked so long to put that behind her but when she brought it up at the meeting on Zorn the memories had overwhelmed her somewhat but now she was once again content and could see no reason to dredge it up again. So attempting to lighten the mood, she put on a slight smile and demurred, "There's no point. After all, it never really happened."

The Doctor would not be placated, "We both know that is not true. Just because most of the world does not remember does not mean it wasn't very real to those who do."

She sighed, "Why now? Things are going so good for us. Why bring this up now?"

"Because things are better for us now and in order to keep it that way, I want you to know and believe that you can lean on me. You mean so much to me . . . so much more than I ever thought anyone would and I don't want you to have to carry the burden of something so huge alone . . . not anymore. So please just tell me. Let me share that burden with you."

Martha remained quiet for a long moment. His sincerity was as startling as it was moving. Never did she imagine his concern for her would be this intense but here he stood before her, asking her to share something she had buried because she needed to be strong for everyone else. She inhaled deeply trying to figure out if and how to begin. It was indeed the most harrowing experience of her life and, she believed, that without it she would never have become the person she was now and because of that realization she knew she could never regret having gone through it. Slowly she found his inquiring brown eyes again and gave him a slight smile while placing a gentle hand upon his cheek.

"I just want you to know that I would do it again, without hesitation. No, it wasn't the easiest time of my life but it was a significant part and I don't regret any of it and I need you to promise me you will not feel guilty about anything I am about to say."

He narrowed his eyes slightly and a small frown creased his brow but before he could object to her condition, she leaned up on her toes and pressed a small kiss to his lips before quietly continuing, "I promise to tell you everything after you give me your word."

The Doctor sighed softly before nodding, "Alright."

Martha gave him one more small smile before leading him over to the edge of the dock that the TARDIS had landed on. Once they were both seated, she began her tale about her time in Japan during the year that all but a few had forgotten. She shared about her missing contact when she first arrived, about the failure of her perception filter and eventual capture by the Drast. She then intently told him about her time in the work camp and all of the workers she regaled with stories of their adventures before finally sharing about the Drast plans for earth and ultimately how she and one of the Master's own agents had thwarted their plans which ultimately sent the Toclanfane towards the island. Just as she had that very day, she cried as she recalled watching the whole of Japan burn before her eyes as she sailed away towards America, hidden on a cargo boat.

By the time her tale was done, the Time Lord had his arms wrapped firmly around her and was gently trying to soothe the memories away. As much as she hated to admit it, it felt good to finally be able to tell her story and let go. For so long she push it to the side, trying to be strong for her family but to finally be allowed to grieve and not need to be a rock lightened her somewhat. Eventually her tears gave way to soft sniffles and more even breathing, affording the Doctor the chance to finally reply to her tale.

"Martha, I am so sorry you had to go through that."

His words caused her to pulled back from him and narrow her eyes in warning, "Doctor . . ."

But he cut her off before her ire could take hold. "It's not guilt. We both know there were no other options and it had to be done but that doesn't mean I have to be happy about the fact that you had to endure so much for the earth . . . for me."

He paused and placed a soft kiss on her forehead before continuing, "I knew you would be successful. I knew of all my companions it was you who would complete this mission. Your heart, compassion and determination would not let you fail."

She gazed up at him and gave a tempered version of her exquisite smile as he earnestly concluded, "And because no one but a few remember, let me be the one to say just how proud I am of you and how much what you did was appreciated."

"I didn't do it for that," she gently retorted. His smile finally came, "I know that but all the same it was appreciated even if it didn't seem like it at the time."

A brief shadow of the end of their first travels together passed between them before both shook it off. Martha returned his smile more fully, her tears having dried, "Thank you."

The couple shared another slower kiss before barely separating. The Doctor studied her more relaxed face for a lingering moment before deciding not to press to know more at that time. He could already see that just sharing that bit had lightened her load considerably and that was his only goal at this point. He wanted her to know they were now partners in this life and that her worries were his and vice versa if she wanted it that way. They had plenty of time to unpack those concerns. For now, they could just enjoy the newness of what they were creating.

"So, Dr. Jones, what's say we find some new adventure to get lost in."

Her smile brightened as she playfully returned, "Well what did you have in mind?"

He lightly shrugged, "I dunno. Maybe we could zip over to Omnicon 5 and see what the Onus are up to or we could drop in on the Dressas of Dementia they have a lovely preserve that contains some of the most exotic wildlife in the universe, or . . ."

His suggestions were cut off by his sweetheart's lips once again finding his. This kiss he noticed took on a more passionate demeanor and when she separated from him her dusky eyes told him she had other ideas. She soon confirmed his calculations with her husky words, "Or we could have our own private adventure back inside the TARDIS."

He gulped in spite of himself at her suggestion. Though they had been officially back together for nearly a month the closest they ever got to being physical had been that night at Tish's house. He admitted, if only to himself, that he had some reservations about this part of their new relationship. It had been a good long while since he'd done something like that and he was not naïve enough to believe Martha was as inexperienced. So he had kept them so busy with adventures that the topic never really had the chance to come up but now as he gazed down at her hooded eyes, he knew any excuse he might proffer to delay the inevitable would not be received well.

He reached out and tenderly caressed her cheek as he softly opted for a bit of truth himself, "It would be an adventure in more ways than one, I'm afraid."

Martha raised a brow, "What are you trying to tell me, Doctor? We are . . . compatible right?"

He cleared his throat, "Yes, very much so but . . ."

He paused and cleared his throat again causing Martha to become more concerned, "But? Are you having second thoughts?"

He immediately began shaking his head, "No, it's not that."

"Then what is it? You're starting to freak me out here."

He sighed, "It's just that . . . that it's been a while for me."

This time her eyes widened in surprise and a hint of amusement, "Really? How long's a while?"

The Doctor avoided her gaze now as he softly replied, "A long while."

She bit her lip to keep from chuckling not at his embarrassment but at the implications of his words. It was clear he was talking decades or maybe longer which meant that this was something she would be the first to share with him in such a long while. When his eyes refused to wander back to hers, she reached out to turn his face back to meet hers.

Then in as tender a voice as she had ever used, she reassuringly replied, "Perfect. The teacher can finally become the student."

Martha could not hide a smirk as his eyes were the ones to widen this time. She then slowly rose from her perch and held out a hand to him which he took and joined her. The pair then quietly made their way back towards their ship. Once at the door Martha gave a small squeeze of his hand as she noticed his other hand slightly tremble while trying to unlock the machine. He glanced over at her and she gave him that smile that always brought him calm and softly said, teasingly, "I promise to be gentle."

"Indeed," he returned with a gentle smile of his own. He finally opened the door and ushered her in before preparing himself for what was to come as he closed the door behind them.

The End


End file.
